epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Movie Reviews: Eve Of Destruction + 9 others

Eve Of Destruction (1991)
A scientist creates a killer robot in her own image. Because. Synth music plays. The robot, Eve, goes amok and Gregory Hines must stop her! There is gross sexism and Renee Southendijk as the scientist/Eve is not sexy or lethal as she rampages as Eve and stares as her creator. Eve likes a tacky orange/red leather jacket which may have been the height of cool in 1991 but not now.

There is constant swearing and the scientist is twee. There is 80s hair and a bad child actor. This was deeply unnecessary. The scientist programmed the thoughts and feelings she represses into Eve who acts out and kills people. There is flat effect acting. Eve messes up a dive bar and there is no collective responsibility. Kurt Fuller shows up as a jerk. Somehow Eve doesn’t have an off switch. People look bored and there are dated graphics. There is effemiphobia. In the 1990s when video stores were a thing, this might have been your best option. But not now.

There is bad VFX, bad make up and a dumb ending. Eve has a nuke inside her but nobody tells Hines that until it is too late. TPTB don’t believe in clarification or good product design. If Eve is a battlefield weapon how come she doesn’t have better protection against being shot and or damaged in a car accident? There is nothing tangible here. Hines waves a gun and has the call sign Seeker. Nobody has principles and I’m vocal in my criticism of this daft misogynistic mess.

Best Lines:
“Classy.”
“No.”

“Quick in and out huh?”

“Kiss the f##king floor!”

“What you do? Pack for me?”

“This is a vagina.”

“Those are tits.”

“A potent battlefield weapon.”

“Got herself shot.”

“Oh and armed you bet.”

“How dangerous is she?”

“Locked in battlefield mode.”

“Terminal harm.”

“Put it back in its box.”

“Your speciality is killing.”

“Medically pass as human.”

“She’ll bleed but she won’t die.”

“They’re not coming out, at least not alive.”

~
Never Been Kissed (1999)
No.

Hot Shots! (1991)
Okay.

Hot Shots! Part Deux (1993)
No.

Bad Santa (2004)
Hee.

Mary Poppins (1964)
Okay.

The Matrix (1999)
Okay.

Chinatown (1974)
No.

Godzilla (1998)
Crap.

Home Alone 3 (1997)
Giggle.
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