epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Curse Of Sleeping Beauty + A Million Ways To Die In The West + In The Dark Half

The Curse Of Sleeping Beauty (2015)
This film is not widely known but deserves to be. Thomas is an elaborately useless man (Gregory Peck’s grandson) who looks like a poor man’s Karl Urban. He dreams of Sleeping Beauty (India Eisley of ‘My Sweet Audrina’) who dresses like Lady Gaga. Thomas twitches and sweats. There are odd opening credits. Thomas draws, badly and has an ineffective therapist. Thomas’ clothes are always dirty and he inherits a mysterious house and has a dour outlook and no surfeit of ambition. Linda is an attention seeking nuisance who won’t go away.

Thomas has a secret sorrow and learns of a family legacy. Is Sleeping Beauty his unobtainable object of desire? She is alluring to him. This was an ambitious, compelling and intriguing movie. A demon or maybe a djinn may roam the house. Thomas is not extraordinarily astute. This was decently entertaining leaving aside annoying stylistic peccadilloes.

Linda is pernicious and spills back-story. Linda has a false sense of herself and clearly disregards sense. Thomas strokes out. Linda has no veracity or authenticity. Sleeping Beauty wears outfits that look like rejects from ‘Black Swan’. Thomas suspends scepticism. Linda is awful and inappropriate. Certain narrative strands are more compelling than others. Thomas’ agony is not mesmerising. Linda is sour and wicked. Thomas is not clever or earthy.

This was reasonably effective. The duo decide events are supernatural. The trailer gave away practically the whole plot. This reminded me of ‘Grimm’ and ‘Once Upon A Time’. There is a book and a rip-off of the Weeping Angels from ‘Doctor Who’. This has a low budget. Richard (Bruce Davison of ‘The Triangle’) is a paranormal cleric. Daniel is Linda’s ex and he gets involved too. This could be the pilot for a TV show.

Thomas’ happy is gone and the heroes learn too late that they are radically in the wrong. This was compelling as desperate and ugly djinns swarm. The heroes are united only in misery. It is downright silly for people to run into things not knowing the full story. This had a chilling ending. It was not transcendently brilliant but was good. The malign figure was in full view all along and there are no ladies bits as a reward for Thomas, what a ballache.

Best Lines:
“They are sealed for a reason.”

“Males, shut-ins.”

“Do not trust.”

A Million Ways To Die In The West (2014)
I laughed at this Wild West spoof.

Best Lines:
“Die from their own farts.”

“General depressing awfulness.”

“Have fun becoming wolf-shit.”

“Angry drunk people.”

“Lying there dead for 3 days.”

In The Dark Half (2012)
People mumble and stare in this UK film. A poacher mutters authoritarianly. This has no initial charm. People have secret sorrows and this seemed mounted half-heartedly. The point of all this is stubbornly obscure. The poacher has a doomed whiny brat son. There is no vague unease and this was turgid. The teen heroine has idiot friends and is stupid and this is eye-wateringly austere.
Pompous dimwits muse and the teen has a mad mother. There is over-wrought acting and no moral conscience. This was not fraught. There seems to be no therapeutic crisis intervention just provoking people with unfriendly attitudes. People radiate sadness and or smugness. This was not entirely resonant and the twist is dumb. This assails with a stupid non-heartbreaking narrative. This was not complex and over-reaches itself. Ungracious people are stupid and this was not ridiculously competent. This earned my contempt.

Best Lines:
“The hills scared him.”

“Are you doing this on purpose?”
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