National Treasure 1x03
Marie is confronted in the loo by an accuser and meets Paul’s barrister. There is no avid clarity. Marie’s notable silence goes on. Danielle’s son is tired of his mother’s intense vulnerability. There are flashbacks to Danielle as a stroppy teen with a possible Elektra complex. Marie has domestic attrition. There are flashbacks to Paul’s old show which looks like an arthouse cliché. Karl was the breakout star not Paul, so Paul was bitter. There are more flashbacks to Marie and the discomfiting Paul. Marie is stoic, Paul is relentless and Marie is tired of being the calm centre. This was okay and there is a flashback to drama queen Danielle overdosing on purpose at 15. Karl loves Marie. Paul is a sexual enigma. Paul tells a story about his past. Are the shuddering details true? This was an okay showy effort. Marie decides to go.
“What does he want from you this time?”
“He did this to me.”
“One chewy bit.”
“She charges 400 pounds an hour so answer well but answer quickly.”
“That’s a negative way of putting things.”
“Unhelpful word; lie.”
“When they crack, they crack.”
“I’ll extract him.”
“I don’t know why she loves you and not me.”
“I’m not going to embrace that stereotype.”
The Hound and the Hare
Don Carlos (Mark Ghanime of ‘Helix’) lurks. He is offered tea by Mary. TEA? Don Carlos has no sincere assurances. Mary trusts Catherine in evidence-defying fashion. The shows unerring inaccuracy goes on. Mary whines and casts responsibility elsewhere. Catherine has maniac energy. Mary and her unfriendly acts bores. Catherine wants to be regent. Narcisse sniffs. Catherine bangs a servant. Mary whines and bitches. Ghanime has no sex appeal or charisma in this show; he did on ‘Helix’. Where did it go?
Mary notably misinterprets everything. Bash and Delphine bore. There is wooden acting. Bash and Delphine have apocalyptic dread in their useless subplot. Mary is caked in fake tan. Lola acts like the embalming of Francis II is odd. Lola is a moron. Mary has no concept of even-handedness. Lola does not fit into Narcisse’s life effortlessly. Wellington boots are worn. A chasing game is played. Wouldn’t that be considered light behaviour?
Is Don Carlos’ father the man Francis’ sister married in 1x01? When Mary Tudor was still alive? Don Carlos is into S&M. Mary has no wary posture. Catherine audibly hisses her evil. Delphine and Bash bore more. Aren’t Bash and Kenna still legally wed? There is a twist. This was not concise. Narcisse pulls off a coup. There are seditious utterances and high comedy. Don Carlos gets his shirt off and it all goes horribly awry in unintentionally hilarious fashion.
“At your service.”
“These are my feelings.”
“A courting game.”
“To warm your heart if not to win it.”
“Some people call it a sex horse.”
“Queens are not so easily undone.”
“I am nothing now.”
“The wrath of his father will rain down upon us.”
The Last Laugh
Tabitha and Barbara hook up. Theo does motive rants. Gordon throws a guy out a window. Jerome and his Heath Ledger impersonation annoys. Bruce and Alfred bore. Kittengirl and her outwardly frosty demeanour is recalcitrant. Singularly unlikely things happen along with threats of vengeance. This was exhausting nitwittery. Theo is obsessive, deluded and scary. Are Tabitha and Theo into each other? Ew. Alfred fancies Lee. There is unsubtle foreshadowing. Bruce is a moron. Theo plays the hero. It is overwhelming how bad an actor Bruce is. Theo kills Jerome. This was rubbish. Penguin and Bullock rant.
“Your legacy will be death and madness.”
“I got half a mind to take you outside and beat you senseless with a garbage can.”
“We are sick of you.”
“Kill his butler.”
“Enter the hero.”
“Little umbrella boy.”
“That wig looks good on you.”
Path To Paradise
The finale. It is Day 19 and Lex continues to be incompetent. Jake gives orders. Jana whines and causes trouble. Cannerts gets throttled. Jake looks for help. Surly people are not worth saving. What happened to the guy who jumped into the cordon after he killed a guy and wandered off? Aren’t people worrying about creating a world wide pandemic by letting people escape? What happened to the mob looking for Cannerts? Where is Katie’s moronic spawn? Leo Greene shows up. Jana won’t shut her mouth. Jake makes a speech.
Why are there unopened MREs lying around? Teen mom stops running and settles down. Cannerts finds another carrier and it is treated like an angelic intervention. Ass-pull. The toxic situation goes on as Bert and wheelchair woman kill themselves due to her dying of sepsis. There is a flurry of bad acting. Lex does something incredibly stupid. Nothing is resolved. There is maybe some hope. Jana the selfish hosebeast won’t shut up. Dr Lommers aka Toxic Barbie is disgraced. Jake orates and tosses Katie’s ashes off a roof. Ugh. So it ends, what a letdown.
“You can’t take my recipe box!”
“Resistant blood type.”
“People of the cordon, do not come any further!”