The boy sits in detention as the self regarding preening teacher spews smug insane nonsense to a visitor. This was not insistently strange. Does something dark, ancient and malevolent lurk? There is rain, a fluttering curtain and a metronome. WTF? The visitor is a bleatingly unhappy woman. This lacks any sort of identity, direction, consistent tone or aesthetic. This was horribly sluggish and complacent and full of overbearing music cues. This was silly, unconvincing, cheap looking, badly acted, cliché ridden and predictable. This was inglorious.
“Why on Earth I agreed to come back after so many years.”
“You can leave.”
“Whose troubles have been well documented.”
“Flash American car.”
“You don’t get to do this.”
“We both know it's lies.”
“I could smell his lies.”
“A life poorly led.”
“I would not forgive you that.”
“Last one out the door pays your legal fees.”
The French court acts in a way it didn’t. Amy Dudley drinks tea as Elizabeth makes her Keeper Of The Swans. Tea?!? Regents weren’t elected or voted upon. Narcisse and Lola have expectation management of their sex life. Claude and Leith have gentle mockery. This was not adulatory. The Valois court may not have existed in any form we’d recognise at all. Charles prances. Mary has sheer ill preparedness to rule alone. Charles is not agent of influence. Amy is a dirty ho.
Dudley is pessimistic and a shockingly bad actor. Amy fakes illness and does contented sighs. Nobody has moral status. Claude and Leith flirt to an instrumental cover of that Ex's and Oh's song. Nobody can effectively advocate and communicate. This is not a decent account of Mary’s formative years. Elizabeth wears spider earrings. Mary is imperious and sneers as if she unimpressed by everyone and every idea around her. There is no strong voice of reason.
The word trousers wasn’t used then. Narcisse is an enduring plotter. People succumb to bad decisions. Mary Tudor wasn’t known as Bloody Mary yet. Dudley wasn’t kept in a cell when he was in the Tower. Who is Gideon? There is bad acting, gritty ambition and this was innocuous. Mary has the ecstasy of sanctimony. Catherine plots, in clandestine ways. Mary is half Guise, where are her great family? Why does the show forget the Guise clan?
“You’ve been selling off vineyards.”
“Subtle skin and absent wit.”
“I barely remember Scotland.”
“A Queen must always be looking over her shoulder to those with the power to undo her.”
“Mary’s ability to bewitch men is well known.”
“Swans are vicious awful creatures.”
“I’m his wife. We’re bound by God.”
“Mutual carnal satisfaction.”
“Strapping male whores.”
“She shamed me.”
“Accompanying lecherous moans.”
“Seduce her way to the information I need.”