epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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4 TV Reviews

The Shannara Chronicles (2016 - 2018) 1x01

Chosen
In a post-apoc earth, elves (aka teenagers with big mouths and Spock ears) run the gauntlet to protect their magic tree. Manu Bennett of ‘Arrow’ and John Rhys-Davis of ‘Sliders’ are reduced to appearing on this show. It is based on books by Terry Brooks.

There are exposition dumps, gaudy imagery and artificial and contrived dialogue. There are contemptible characters, visions, community suspicion, random characters popping up, elf stones and this was unutterably dumb. Where did elves come from? The bizarre plot and world building causes deep confusion. The actors are wooden, a troll seems to be a deformed human and a druid (Bennett) shows up to have long conversations. A thief thieves. Idiot elves pose and a warlock lord is mentioned. This was sad and I won’t bother with anymore.

Best Lines:
“Sweaty elf-boy hate.”

“Invoking our dead brother. Very subtle.”

“They’re dead. We’re not.”

“There are dark days ahead.”

“The war of the races.”

~
Reign 3x04

The Price
Delphine shows up. Charles is a prat. Elizabeth vows to never marry. Mary has to pay a price after Francis done fall down. Mary should be politically culturally and socially faultless. She isn’t. There are exposition dumps and Marie de Guise shows up to done fall down. Elizabeth looks unclean. Did the concept of a honeymoon exist then? Mary heads toward her miserable end. Blatantly bad choices are made. There is less and less passivity. Don Carlos (Mark Ghanime of ‘Helix’) prances. Francis has a misguided belief.

Bash is less important. Dudley and Elizabeth have endless iterations of the same conversation. Charles has no grasp of history. Mary has the express intention of being stupid.

Mary cannot prioritise, plan, sequence, initiate or rationalise. There is no morality test. Mary is malicious and makes unnecessary problems. Elizabeth fears for her sexual reputation. Claude whines. Destabilising things happen. Mary is gleefully disparaging. There is bad acting and no superlatives for this ep. Lola sulks. Don Carlos is an arse. Amy needs a whipping. Everyone is pathetic.

Best Lines:
“Weeds that the horses have watered.”

“Why must the fate of nations be decided in a shared bed?”

“I will not be laid low by any man.”

“Show me your womanhood.”

“Bring the Spaniard before me.”

“Scared people can do terrible things.”

“They’re called frigates.”

“Tire of dying on Scottish soil.”

“She’s dead.”
“Of course she is.”

~
Containment 1x10

A Time To Be Born
This ep was okay but this show was a disappointment. Leo Greene rants. Pregnant teen goes into labour. Katie whines and judges Dr Cannerts so ill. What is Toxic Barbie’s motivation? Why have TPTB directed all their attention onto kasting kouch Katie? There is no disconcerting isolation inside the cordon. The National Guard are dying. Leo Greene is so non-conformist don’t you know. There is no guarded hope. There is just deep confusion. There is resilience as Lex and Jake realise their boss is facilitating Toxic Barbie.

The gangbanger acts nice. Jake chats with someone. Jana makes it all about her as per usual. Katie won’t shut her mouth. Then she gets sick. Just die bitch.

Best Lines:
“More space, less deadly virus.”

“Not so stupid.”

“She scared them.”

“You’re a worthless traitor.”

~
Jackie, Ethel, Joan: The Women Of Camelot (2001)
No.
Tags: containment, reign, review
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