‘Salem’ opening credits
If only Seth Gabel wasn’t in this.
‘Out Of Sight’ (1998) promo
No.
‘Tutankhamen’ promo
Sam Neill stars in this bio of Howard Carter and his famous discovery.
Best Line:
“Wonderful things.”
‘Victoria’ 1x06 promo
Hee.
Best Line:
“WE CANNOT HAVE GERMANS RUNNING THE COUNTRY!”
‘The Client’ (1994) promo
No.
‘Madeline’ (1998) promo
No.
‘Hollyoaks’ promo
Elly gets violent. Kim’s back. Ste annoys. Nico is rumpled. Celine is getting married? Someone is looking for Lockie. Mac menaces James. Alfie can’t act. Warren is the father of Maxine’s baby? Mercedes goes psycho and this was all seething tumult and people will no doubt die miserably. This hints at impending evil.
Best Lines:
“I am not your victim.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“Mercedes McQueen. Bitch.”
‘Blair Witch’ TV spot
Please be good.
‘Inferno’ promo
Mmmm.
Best Line:
“Dante’s hell isn’t fiction. It’s prophecy.”
Peach Lemonade tictacs - okay.
Crunchy caramel choc - okay.
RIP Alexis Arquette.
I won’t review ‘The Last Ship’ 3x09.
William Shatner was in ‘3rd Rock From The Sun’ in 1999 as the Big Giant Head. No comment.
Recall ‘The Muppet Show’?
Watched ‘The River Tam Sessions’. Which was a ‘Serenity’ extra which showed how River went from normal to psychotic. She has movement trainers? She knew Simon was looking for her and she killed the interviewer. This was good.
Best Lines:
“Quite a family.”
“I would like to see my brother.”
“Cut up my mattress.”
“Why did you cut up your mattress?”
“He thinks he can find me but I’m deep down.”
‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Too ordinary for most people to see.”
“Who everyone wishes would go away.”
“Make her ready tomorrow. And we will collect her.”
“It’s fabulously miserable.”
“Hard time trusting people’s motives.”
“Pavements so deep with sleeping homeless people and used needles that it was often hard to cross the street.”
“Liaise with my management on brand partnerships.”
“Promise, energy and hope of their younger selves dissipated into maintenance, mundanity and making do.”
“Uneducated regional accents.”
“The main difficulty for the reader is determing the intended level of irony.”
“A low-rent piece of sleaze whose shiftless values and moral and intellectual corruption have been allowed to influence public policy.”
“About how they conduct themselves at home.”
“Used to consume so much cocaine she was nicknamed “Dyson”.”
“Peacetime was an intermission between wars.”
“Just because you can zip it up doesn’t mean it’s your size. Have you been to Doncaster?”
“Synthetic underwear is the shortest route to unpleasant infections.”
“Ask yourself, would Rita Ora wear it? If the answer is yes, don’t buy it.”
“Masstige.”
‘The Day Of The Triffids’ (TV) Quotes:
“The state of society which gave sanction to his ownership no longer exists. Added to which Mr Brent is not sighted and cannot in any capacity be considered competent to hold authority.”
“It will rule.”
“Our national duty.”
“Oh great god almighty.”
“The word war is an unjustifiable exaggeration.”
“I was happily cruising down Tottenham Court Road and a 4 storey building collapsed behind me.”
‘The Red Bulletin’ Quote:
“Hands-on machines fixed with a hammer.”
‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Vicious attention seeking pathological liar.”
“Complete fabrication.”
“Looking for attention in very negative ways.”
“Protect my family’s happiness.”
“So blind to it.”
“No option for me.”
“They don’t believe me.”
“Have you given them reason to doubt you?”
“I thought she did.”
“This is my life now.”
“Horrible despicable evil thing to do.”
“Completely lying.”
“Did this solely for attention.”
“Why won’t you believe me?”
“Criminal sexual conduct.”
“You were not the greatest daughter.”
“You initiated and charged him money.”
“How is that a victim?”
“Had boys in the house.”
“That’s very convenient.”
“Finally finally making this happen.”
“Control her every thought.”
“Made the whole story up out of spite.”
‘The Man In The Iron Mask’ (book) Quotes:
“Screech on, old hag!”
“Denunciation upon denunciation has been heaped upon the head of Monsieur Fouquet and that his position still remains unshaken.”
“The laugh of Madame de Chevneuse was not pleasant to listen to.”
“Although it spoke not, it menaced.”
“Such a person had no existence.”
“Knows a certain chased lock which secures a certain ebony door, which separates a certain apartment from a certain still more private room that is furnished in blue and white?”
“We, who are the sole remnant, nay, the sole examples, of a pre-existent chivalry.”
“Bad kings are hated by their subjects; poor kings are dethroned. This is what I had to say to your majesty, and it is to be regretted that you have driven me to say it.”
“D’Artagnan, pale and trembling, allowed the king to do this without making any effort either to prevent or assist him.”
“I advise you not to get yourself sent there!”
“His name is reviled in history.”
“The king is only master in another man’s house when he has driven out the rightful owner.”
“Of what importance is he?”
“The king has made up his mind to have you, and have you he will.”
~
On ‘Neighbours’: Clementine the cat eats Gary’s pigeons. Xanthe broods over Ben. Fat Terese acts like a 5 year old. Why is she friendly with Lauren? Brennan stalks Ned for no clear reason. Some skanky woman dares to threaten Ned. Ben has no mortification at his acts. Brennan annoys. Ben is insolent. WTF is with the Madison worship? My patience is exhausted with this soap. All the fuss Terese has made over a pigeon race. Poor Paul is billy-no-mates. What does Brennan have against Ned? A hard-faced woman lurks. The stalker and his snakes return. Ben and Xanthe hook up.
On ‘Hollyoaks’: James has broken bones. Neeta notices Mac’s injury and walks out of the wedding. Her would-be stepchildren ignore her. Duncan from Blue is in the opening credits. John-Paul puts together very slowly the facts of James lying on the floor, clutching his ribs and limping. John-Paul is a moron. Nobody else heard Mac breaking James’ bones? Jade is useless. James is unhappy. Marnie is oblivious. James goes to casualty. Grace’s mother whines.
Marnie and Neeta talk. Mac is disgusting. James has been keeping Mac’s beatings a secret for a long time. His siblings are oblivious. Neeta hides out with Grace. Poor James is damaged from his crazy toxic parents. Mac was jealous of his own son? What secret does Grace have? Mac rants and he and Marnie make out. I’m sure Marnie knows about Mac abusing their son and doesn’t care.
Best Lines:
“My pathetic sob story.”
“He was a bad father.”
“Where were you when I had my breakdowns?”
“Some sort of glamorous Bond villain.”
“He fractured two of my ribs.”
“He did what?”
“And it wasn’t the first time.”
“She’s the reason dad hated me.”
“Weedy mummy’s boy.”
“Cold and lumpy and thrown at one of our dads?”
“You made James what he is!”