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Movie Reviews: Labyrinth + Born Yesterday

Labyrinth (1986)
This silly film has an implausible line in melodrama, bad acting and screeching. Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie star. This has the potentiality of being good but isn’t. David Bowie wears a huge 80s fright wig and acts like he doing ‘Sesame Street’ while on bad LSD. There are muppets, bad songs and overacting. Sarah (Connelly) overacts and tantrums and wishes away her baby half-brother. Her father and stepmother go out in bad clothes. Sarah is 14 and into cosplay and fairytales. The Goblin King (Bowie) shows up. Why is a human the King of the Goblins? The Goblin King sings in notoriously loopy fashion.

Sarah accepts bad circumstances as she has to navigate a maze to find her baby half-brother. The Goblin King has manipulative greed and no productive dialogue. There’s an obviously unconvincing explanation for this whole plot. The wacky sensibility doesn’t work. The Goblin King and his malignant patience is an egomaniacal prick among a sea of slush and yelling. The mischievously provoking Goblin King should be subject to a sexual risk order. The fantasy land has grim hostility. Sarah is petulant and a difficult individual. The events are not personally traumatic for Sarah in this dreadful place. This is so noisy and loud and the Goblin King wears ridiculously tight tights.

Best Lines:
“I’m just a worm.”

“Not the eternal stench!”

“You have no power over me!”

~
Born Yesterday (1993)
This grotesque absurdism basks in its maleness. There is deadpan seriousness about the meet, the lose and the get. There is cheesy acting, a bimbo, artificial looking sets and mangled dialogue. This is not a good philosophical fable about a current hate figure, his bimbo and a reporter with a bad haircut. The fat dude baddie is aptly sinister and has disturbing abusive tendencies toward his much-derided trophy bimbo.

Nobody has duty, obligation, discipline or social and public complexity. This was a banal tale of constant horribleness and repellent misfits. This has no moral edge or potential. This is dated, squalid and seedy. The reporter looks rueful and no stranger to piano bars. There are poisonous sentiments and this was not entrancing. The reporter has to try to turn the bimbo into Washington DC hostess material and or the best and most altruistic version of herself. This film is an abject horror. This has no truth capital.

Best Lines:
“Contract and lift.”

“Don’t Harvard talk me.”

“Calm yourself.”
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