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The Magicians 1x09 - 1x13 + Helix (2014 - 2015) 1x01 + Shades Of Blue 1x05 Reviewed

The Writing Room
Julia has no gravitas or decency and is a volcano drama. Richard utters relentlessly earnest platitudes. Julia has no unspoken shame. There is no rigorous craftsmanship here. Penny is absolutely asinine and has abandoned any pretence at ethical behaviour. He has waspish asides, ugliness, anger, barbed comments and a flippant attitude.

Quentin learns that the author of the Fillory novels (Charles Shaughnessy) had sinister motivation. Eliot is a hub of misery, nihilism and hopelessness. There is no nuance or frission and Julia acts like a human garbage bag. Eliot, Penny, Quentin and Alice visit Plover’s house and learns of bleakness, callousness, unpleasant behaviour and ulterior motives behind a great bourgeois edifice.

Penny is outrageously insensitive and particularly crass. Quentin explains his perennial fascination with the much lauded Fillory. This show produces cavernously empty feelings. Nobody has forged authentic emotional connections. Quentin’s romantic notions of Plover are shattered. Eliot consumes a staggering amount of alcohol and has dissolute behaviour.

Major re-evaluations are needed. Julia has unthinkable hubris and seems to exist in a dull stupor. There are temporal sidesteps. The toxic sanctification of Plover will go on outside of Quentin and co. Where is Rupert Chatwin? This was okaish. Images that were but once a memory from the distant past lead to the true traumatic misadventure. Why is there a storm cellar in an English house?

Best Lines:
“My brain breaks sometimes.”

“He was involved in some dark things.”

“Why won’t you let me in anymore?”

“No talking in the quiet place.”

~
Homecoming
Penny travels to the Neitherlands. Penny is bothered. Quentin has a sex dream. Margo shows up. Julia makes new friends. Kady resurfaces. People seem to have obliterating indifference to Kady and Penny going missing. Alice visits her parents (Judith Hoag and Tom Amandes); they practice panic-inducing whimsical magic. Alice’s parents feel no sharp emotional tugs. Penny talks in a flat questioning drone. Alice feels overlooked. This was not edgy, harsh or real. Alice has vulnerabilities and fears due to her suck-ass parents. This is not a sombre social-realist drama. Penny is chased by people who look like insane drifters. Socially isolated Alice has isolation, helplessness and anger and resentment harboured for a long time. Quentin and Alice have a tense exchange. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“From?”
“Not here.”

“Hey, that was cool when it came out.”

~
Remedial Battle Magic
The gang try to figure out how to deal with the Beast. Penny dresses like Johnny Depp on a bender. Richard, Julia and co plan to summon a god. Julia is susceptible to Richard’s alternative set of values. This was directed by Amanda Tapping. Kady gives advice. Penny bores. This has no little sense of drama. There is triumphant simpering. Julia reaches too high. Eliot, Quentin and Margo have a threesome. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“You smoked crack?
“I’ve done things that would make you hide under a blankie.”

“There’s no one to hear you.”

“Find me.”

“You think it’s real?”
“Some of the good parts have to be.”

~
Thirty-Nine Graves
Brakebills is a cold setting and full of seemingly inconsequential moments. Penny blathers about a grim future. Alice has collapsed ideals and all consuming female despair. So the wistful sylph bangs Penny. Margo is referred to as Janet. People achieve their heart’s desire and find it lacking. Quentin gets answers from the Dean. A time loop is revealed. This had no radiant confidence. Quentin and Julia reunite. Julia and her cold cynicism, ignorance and insensitivity has no compassion and humility. Julia is spectacularly awful and has a disconnection with the wider world. She has preening smugness and no dignity or restraint.

This had no sentiment or spectacle. Penny has visceral hostility and it is unending. Who is Josh? How did Julia just stroll into Brakebills again? This creates a paucity of interest.

Best Line:
“Be certain when you call Julia.”

“Actually it’s Margo.”
“This time.”

“There’s no one to reset it.”

~
Have You Brought Me Little Cakes?
They’re in Fillory. Ember shows up and he is not The Great Ram Of Fillory just an actor in sub-par ‘Hellboy’ knock-off make-up. Lil’ Jane Chatwin annoys, Fillory is spectacularly gloomy and bitter, there are connecting narrative links, vanities and yearnings, internal self indulgences and a twist.

Plover shows up again and is forgotten about. Eliot makes a choice. There is a joke about the low budget. Ember reveals something horrible about Julia and Richard’s summoning ritual. The Beast’s true identity is revealed. Josh and Victoria run off. Why? This dramatic deconstruction of the fantasy genre goes on. Quentin’s crazed desire for a destiny leads to a vortex of trouble. Julia reveals that summoning Our Lady Underground went wrong and that people died dispensable deaths and that she was very stupid.

What became of Kady? Gloomier extreme consequences ensued due to bad choices. Marina isn’t the great magician she thinks she is. Julia is a sordid footnote to the gang’s plan. She leaves bitter regrets and has no moral reasons. There is a spiteful coda to this ep which is a devastating portrayal of the wretched bleakness of magic. This was good and all despair, disillusionment and grim reality.

While this show didn’t enrapture it was okay. Julia wilfully destroys trust with her unequalled ignorance. The Beast and Julia leave the gang to die in the cliff-hanger. The Beast wears an ill-fitting suit. Julia consciously is awful and stands idly by during the sadistic spectacle. Will season 2 bring more disdainful silence from the selfish Julia and more mangled familiarity of the twisting of the fantasy genre?

Best Lines:
“Are you okay?”
“No I just stabbed my own hand.”

“A master magician murder weapon.”

“Beautiful but false.”

“Payment is due. As is promised.”

“My life. It doesn’t work.”

“It killed every human thing in him.”

“I wanna make a deal.”
“Lets.”

~
Pilot
Play god. Pay the price.
I’ve heard much negative commentary about this now cancelled show. I’ve always liked plague shows: ‘12 Monkeys‘, ‘The Burning Zone’, both versions of ‘Survivors’, ‘Containment’, ‘Cordon’, ‘The Last Ship’ and ‘The Stand’ so I decided to at last give this a try.

Billy Campbell stars and Ronald D Moore produces. Billy Campbell looks like an older Anthony Perkins. The ads for this were paranoia-inducing. A private research base owned by Arctic Biosystems has a retrovirus outbreak.

Alan (Campbell) has an estranged brother named Peter who is infected with the virus at the base. Alan, his ex wife (who slept with Peter), Sarah (who fancies Alan), an older woman and a solider named Sergio head up to the Arctic. An obvious baddie named Dr Hatake and his dirty looking adopted son lurk. This was goodish and intrigues.

There is black blood, black goo oozing out of a body bag, secret messages and an improbable escape. Sergio is cute and finds dead monkeys in the show. What is Sergio up to? Peter lurks and I am interested.

Best Lines:
“How kind of them.”

“We have no authority there.”

“Hard or soft quarantine?”

“Someone busted off this cage door. From the inside.”

“It’s not naturally occurring. At least not in this century.”

~
Equal And Opposite
The corrupt gang have seized a lot of heroin. Does Harlee only wear the one t-shirt? Harlee thinks Stahl is stalking her; nobody will listen to her complaints. Harlee calls in a favour. Stahl bothers Donnie. Stahl and Harlee meet in a doughnut shop. Donnie and Wozniak make out in a movie theatre. Then Wozniak threatens his side ass with violence again. Harlee discovers her daughter is a liar. Raoul messes up Wozniak’s car. What does Donnie see in Wozniak? Raoul’s blackmail attempt on Wozniak backfires horrifically. Wrong conclusions are reached. Stahl hires a Harlee lookalike hooker. Creeper. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I can squeeze you in after my nine thirty orgy.”

“Approach calmly.”

“Excuses are the tool of the incompetent.”

“Don’t call me again.”

“Dirtier than dirt.”

“I’ll use scary words.”

“Nice safe mouth business.”

“I have large appetites. I like a full menu. Variety.”
Tags: helix, shades of blue, the magicians
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