epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Suicide Squad + A Haunted House +Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood + 3 others

Suicide Squad (2016)
A dummy brigade of baddies is made to team up to deal with a non-scary ass threat. I haven’t the remotest obligation to care about this mess that has sexism, bad continuity and narrative crisis points. People who sin openly and those who don’t, run around an incoherent plot. Jared Leto goes OTT and the CGI is overdone and the tragedy of Harley Quinn being made into Mr J’s very own sex toy is not shown. Why does the hot witch knife fight people? She’s a WITCH! This was okaish if stunningly obvious.

A Haunted House (2013)
This is a funny spoof of ‘Paranormal Activity’. There is sexism and no dignity but I laughed.

Best Lines:
“He behind there!”

“If we know he’s in there, why the f##k are we going in there?!

“It’s not a zombie, it’s a ghost!”

“Throw cake on my brand new Betamax!”

“Christmas. New Year’s. Vagina.”

“What is wrong with my outfit?”
“Nothing. If you’re living in a box under the freeway.”

“Hot things.”

“That was awkward.”

“I can’t sell a house in this market! Immediate possession! It’s already possessed!”

Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002)
A playwright (Sandra Bullock) deals with her horribly narcissistic mother who is also an alcoholic abusive histrionic hysteric. This is a tale of a woman dealing with her toxic mother. This has bad accents and the mother is a corrosive fraught presence and a heartless harridan whose emotional abuse is comprehensively dismissed.

The daughter’s not unreasonable response to her mother’s demonic savagery and pathologically needy act is tut-tutted by the mother’s shrouded in denial friends. This was jarringly detached from reality. The playwright is drugged and abducted to induce cooperation. Cue flashbacks to her mother’s ‘tragic’ past. Everything just keeps enlarging the wrong done and TPTB justify her mother’s choices and covers it with a patina of respectability. There is no warmth or familiarity here just generational abuse. Her mother is the victim here apparently don’t you know. Her alcoholic drama queen mother and the incessant chaos she causes is seen as perfectly reasonable and her daughter is the problem. This was woefully horrible and the timeline is wonky.

Best Lines:
“Like to make us all out to be swamp water alligator wrestling bigots.”

“Everybody’s bill comes to.”

“Ugly cotton farming hands.”

28 Days (2000)
Sandra Bullock goes to rehab.

The Happiest Days Of Your Lives (1950)

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)
Weird but has a cute kitten.
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