epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Review: Cruel Intentions 3

Cruel Intentions 3 (2004)

Now the first film was a camp masterpiece (Joshua Jackson and his immortal hoover line, the Central Park make out scene and the ending), the 2nd was total cheese but still watchable. Then there was this botch job. The 'actors' breathe and walk which shows they aren't actually planks of wood. But they can't act. The character all attend the same California boarding school. One pupil is Cassidy the cousin of Sarah Michelle Gellar's character from the original.

Cassidy has endless smut filled conversations with Jason (Kerr Smith of 'Dawson's Creek', 'Final Destination' and 'My Bloody Valentine 3D), this duo annoy more than the idiot mother and know it all daughter on 'Gilmore Girls'. Then they're joined in their awfulness by new student Patrick. The trio get involved in tasteless seduction bets. How these people have any friends is a mystery. The immoral idiots plot and connive until the end. This was awful, awful, awful stuff.

Best Lines:
"You're just like your cousin. She ruins the family name...yet she's still your role model. If you want to be Kathryn that badly at least let me be your Sebastian."
"Kathryn, Sebastian. Where are they now? Oh yeah, methadone clinic and dead."
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