epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Legends Of Tomorrow 1x15 + Colony 1x10 + The Catch 1x03 Reviewed

The oculus viewing chamber is the central focus of this unwatchable bad ep. Savage is needed to save humanity from aliens and Rip learns he is literally a tool. Rip screams amid over-dressed sets. Visibly uncomfortable actors stand around. Ray will die apparently. Jax is back in 2016. Stein has a moral furore and malaise. There is no clear and concise writing. I’m tired of Rip’s florid vernacular and this ep had no narrative structure. All kinds of wicked things lead to worldly ennui. Rip’s lofty contempt and towering condescension vehemently deny sense.

Savage has Kendra and Carter, nobody cares. Snart hits on Sara. This ep is extremely redundant. The franchise fixated TPTB have given no good reason for this show to exist and have run it into the ground. The gang babble about the oculus wellspring. There are mega-fights and no great tactical effect. This was not robust and people keep self-sacrificing. Snart and Sara kiss. Snart maybe dies. I felt cold indifference. The time masters engineered history and now can’t do it anymore. This sucked hard.

Best Lines:
“You’re not helping your argument.”

“You are looking at events as they will happen.”

“No matter what you do, it will happen.”

“We’re completely out of allies.”

“A scaled down supernova.”

“Time is unmoored.”

A gang of kids rob people and Charlie is one of them. The Resistance are carrying around a dead alien. Helena (Ally Walker) runs the recovery op. Dallas is now a flat sheet of glass because 2 of the aliens died on Arrival Day. Helena calls the alien It and orders Will and co to find it. The alien is in a suit and looks humanoid. Will tells Maddie to protect the kids because his radicalised wife is stupid and doesn’t care. Bram lies. Nobody notices the Resistance carrying a dead alien down the street? Katie is stunned at the crap she has caused as LA is bombed. Social collapse erupts, Bram runs off from safety as he is moronic and it’s like the fall of Saigon.

The Resistance have callow cruelty and ludicrously exaggerated insouciance. Snyder’s daughter Cynthia is in a loveless environment and Snyder is out on his ear and faces seriously negative consequences. Cynthia wants no part of his value system. Did Beau get to his cabin? Maddie gets Hudson, Gracie and the dog to Nolan’s. Nobody asks why an alien was travelling by train. Nolan is delighted by his side-ho, kids and dog. The fate of his wife does not trouble Nolan (Adrian Pasdar) or Maddie.

Nolan and Maddie plan a pastoral romance. Jennifer knows Katie’s crap. Will is deliciously subdued. Bram and his teacher do stupid stuff. Katie is a nut job with an aura of insincerity. The plan to cut open the alien’s body armour suit fails. The Resistance don’t care about reprisals due to their sense of conviction and protest narrative. Will imposes order over chaos. The Resistance are morons and Katie has to be boffing Broussard.

Thora Birch does nothing. Will ends up with a transit pass. Who is the new Proxy? Is Snyder headed for the Factory? Snyder shows grace as the axe falls. Braless Maddie enjoys being Nolan’s ho especially as he is the new chief of staff to the new Proxy. The tutor shows up to join the party. Bram and his teacher are busted. Is the teacher a narc? What is in the exclusion zone? Katie is at home alone and yes their house is bugged and Katie is not as smart as she thinks. This was good and I’ll be there for season 2.

Best Lines:
“This is not a good situation.”

“Bounding overwatch.”

“I’ve got to pick a side.”

“They’re destroying our city. Again.”

“Science is rarely elegant.”

“You know why I’m asking.”

“You can’t win.”
“I know.”

“You have no idea what you’ve prevented.”

“You’re an honourable man Will.”

The Trial
Christopher claims to be a prisoner, the Princess dresses badly and Christopher doesn’t use his new credit cards. Lip Lass fails to notice a bug in her home because she’s kind of crap at her job and then is drugged up. No women wear sleeves. Gordon (Alan Ruck) the estranged husband of Val shows up. Val is horrendous to him and her sick sister-in-law. The sister-in-law has MS and was subjected to a medical test gone wrong or maybe it was sabotaged. This show cannot sustain itself emotionally. Reg is a jerk, he and Christopher like to have sex with women to run cons - isn’t that rape? Reel bad Arabs menace Christopher. Dao lurks - isn’t that the chemical company that makes mace? There are more flashbacks and I could care less.

Best Lines:
“A disinterested 3rd party.”

“Receptionist laughed at me.”

“Emotionally coercive sneak attack.”

“Do not give him one more second of your life.”
Tags: colony, legends of tomorrow, review

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