epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Tape Tale 2000

Found a tape from 2000. It had four tv show episodes on it. One each of 'Xena: Warrior Princess', 'G Vs E', 'The X Files' and 'Popular'.

The 'Popular' ep was a season 1 ep entitled 'Queen B'. It's time for the Homecoming Queen contest. Mary Cherry, Carmen, Poppy and Brooke are the nominees. Mary Cherry's crazy mother Cherry Cherry (Delta Burke) shows up to make sure her daughter wins no matter the opinion of "Bottle blonde pigeon chested naysayers" like Nicole. Brooke mopes, Sam's a drama queen jerk and Mary Cherry wears a light up ballgown. This was tiresome, why did TPTB think we'd like Sam?

The 'G vs E' ep was one after the show was seriously retooled (much to the show's detriment). It was the ep 'Immigrant Evil', in which Morlocks prayed on desperate refugees one of whom is played by Dominic Keating of 'Star Trek: Enterprise'. But none of that social issue was actually addressed. Instead it's all about whining Ben, the character was a major blight on the show. The baddies are obnoxious. The vile Analise shows up again. Remind me, why are we supposed to care about these people? Corps Europe is mentioned. Apparently it's one big homogonous organisation, because as you know Downtown Europe is so small. Anyway Ben gatecrashes the whole operation and causes the Corps rescue attempt to fail and Keating's character to burn in hell forever. Way to go Ben. This was just bad.

Best Lines:
"Nice house yeah. It's like in 'Falcon Crest', but dirtier."

"What would Stallone do?"

'Je Souhaite' was the 7th season 'The X Files' ep on the tape. Two trailer park trash morons find a genie with a bad attitude. Scully acts like she's stoned, Mulder asks for peace on Earth only for it to go horribly wrong, the trailer park morons come to a bad end and the genie is sarcastic. One this show started doing funny eps this show lost the creep factor. This was okay but forgettable and what was the point of the unnecessary Skinner cameo?.

Best Lines:
"In 500 years people have not changed a bit."
"500 years?"
"Granted they smell better now, generally speaking."

"He offered me three wishes. For the first I asked for a stout hearted mule. For the second, uh, a magic sack that was always full of turnips. Did I mention this was 15th century France?"

The final ep on the tape was the 5th season 'Xena: Warrior Princess' ep 'Antony and Cleopatra'. Cleopatra is assassinated with an asp as she takes an milk bath. So Xena shows up to impersonate her, no-one objects to this. Mark Antony, Brutus and Octavian converge on Egypt to get hold of her navy to end Rome's civil war. Xena has a sensual time with Antony starting with the rolled up carpet entrance. Gabrielle hangs around being useless in a wig. In the end, Xena destroys Mark Anthony and Brutus. This was good.

Best Lines:
"Will Rome enter Egypt?"

"I was coming to see you."
"We have a front door for that."

"Are you going to flirt him to death?"
Tags: tape tales, xfiles

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