epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

  • Music:

Movie Reviews: The Two Faces Of January + The Expendables 2 + Emma + 13 others

The Two Faces Of January (2014)
It is Greece 1962 and a tour guide/con artist targets a married couple. He offers evil counsels unaware that they have secrets of their own. People don’t dress in c-strings, titty holsters or Victoria’s Secret style. There is male folly, social pretension and sidewalk seediness. This was a bland creation and had a thief, a gun and a disposable woman.

Best Line:
“Wouldn’t trust him to mow my lawn.”

~
The Expendables 2 (2012)
This has an absence of subtext. It does have Chuck Norris and a dehydrated looking Jean-Claude Van Damme as the baddie. The heroes are irritants and are impossible to care about. This has no emotional beats and faux valour by smarm-dunked types. The silly plot does not give the story stakes. The characters have irritatingly vague motivation and bad cosmetic surgery.

Best Lines:
“My violent friend.”

“Little extreme but nice.”

“I’m out of bullets!”
“That’s your problem.”

~
Emma (1996)
A matchmaker matchmakes. Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeremy Northam lead the cast and show off their good dental work. Emma facilities men seeking reproductive access and interferes with friends happiness and annoys. This was not motivation rich.

Best Lines:
“Do not want silly wives.”

“Pork!”

“Vanity working on a weak mind.”

“Misapply it as you do.”

“Everybody has their level.”

~
Explorers (1985)
No.

The Mummy (1999)
Okay.

Gremlins (1984)
No.

Beethoven (1992)
Okay.

A Cinderella Story (2004)
Okay.

Genevieve (1953)
Okay.

Village Of The Damned (1995)
Horrible.

Vice Versa (1998)
No.

Carry On Cleo (1964)
Hee.

The Perfect Storm (2000)
Piffle.

Predator (1984)
OTT.

Steel Magnolias (1989)
Okay.

Vertical Limit (2000)
Dumb.
Tags: movie review
Subscribe

Comments for this post were disabled by the author