epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Movie Reviews: SWAT: Firefight + 4 others

SWAT: Firefight (2011)
A belated sequel to the 2003 film. A social setting is disrupted by men with guns. A Michael Vartan lookalike saves the day. He’s a heroic SWAT officer. Then he is sent to Detroit to train up more SWAT guys. The shrink (Carly Pope in hooker wear and hooker shoes) prances. There is a training montage and a nutter (Robert Patrick) with possessive rage. The original had a crisper tone. This film belongs in complete obscurity; it has not one iota of suspense. This was a boring, stupid, pointless botch-job. The nutter is a spy and menaces the poor man’s Michael Vartan. People yell and nobody cares.

Best Lines:
“Get in here and shoot them.”

“Shoot these dicks.”

“Magazines should be emptied in 15 seconds.”

“Kneeling barricade position.”

~
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Dull.

Death Becomes Her (1992)
Okay.

Candleshoe (1977)
Okay.

AVP - Alien Vs Predator (2004)
Okay.
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