epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

A Review of Eps 1 to 8 of 'Cane'

How to sum up 'Cane'? What a letdown is a good place to start. It's hard to believe but this soap opera about the dysfunctional Duque family and their rum empire is boring. I only kept watching it for Nestor Carbonell. This is no 'Falcon Crest', there is no David Selby in this cast. There's not even an untalented pretty boy equal to Lorenzo Lamas in this. It's all so dull, even 'Pacific Palisades' generated more interest than this.

The cast of characters is led by Alex Vega (a bloated and smug looking Jimmy Smits). Alex has a wife (who is also his adoptive sister) who looks about 19, despite the fact they have 3 children. The spoilt Vega brats only show up if the plot necessitates, otherwise they are neglected by their self-obsessed parents. The Duque patriarch is Pancho who shouts a lot. He has a wife who does nothing but show off her big hair and cook enormous meals for her freeloading brood. Pancho's youngest son Henry runs a nightclub with no skill, in fact Henry seems incapable of dressing himself without the aid of a special needs nurse. Then there is the put upon eldest son Frank (Carbonell of 'Lost'). Frank was supposed to run Duque Rum but Alex stole the CEO job. Frank broods about this and in-between bouts of brooding takes off his shirt. Then he broods some more because Pancho thinks the sun shines out of Alex's pooper, despite the fact Alex doesn't do any work.

Alex neglects his job in favour of acting like a thug, feuding with the Samuels clan and hanging out with criminals. The Samuels family are in the sugar business and Alex hates them because Daddy Samuels had a Duque child murdered years earlier. Daddy Samuels is a ludicrous villain, he's played and written so OTT evil and oily, it's ridiculous. You can't take him seriously and Alex's long running vendetta lacks credibility, seeing as he's guilty of the exact same sins as Daddy Samuels. Namely murder and blackmail. Daddy Samuels has a daughter, Alice who shows up either to pout, look cross, bang Frank or get arrested thanks to Alex.

In these first eight eps, nothing happens. Alex rants, kills people, runs around with mobsters and gloats to Frank about stealing his job. His idiot spawn do dumb stuff. His wife whines. Frank takes his shirt off and broods. Pancho rants. The Samuels do evil stuff. You get the feeling that someone called an audible in the writers room to try to make Alex more popular: the whole Frank was sickly child plot point seems forgotten as well as Alex's eldest son joining the army.

All I can say is thankfully 'Cane' was cancelled so Nestor Carbonell could go back to 'Lost'.
Tags: cane, lost, ringer

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