epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Z Nation 2x06 - 2x11 + The Durrells 1x05 + Agents of SHIELD 3x17 + Legends 2x02 Reviewed

Zombie Baby Daddy
What do zombie babies eat? Sugar water and fingers apparently. Wasn’t Doc shot at the end of season 1? What happened to his life endangering wound? There are ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ knock offs. Murphy treats Cassandra badly and there are jokes about Lincoln. This ep had ironic emptiness and was not wildly inventive. Vasquez has secrets. Murphy stumbles across a couple who offer rabbit’s milk and offloads baby Lucy on them. Murphy’s ill-treatment of Cassandra and the gang leads to death. Murphy is remorseless and what will become of Lucy?

Best Line:
“Can’t. Won’t.”

Down The Mississippi
Why did nobody do anything about Cassandra’s cognitive decline for so many eps? The significant shift in Murphy’s attitude gets worse. Bad people go on their remorseless way. The slightly disturbing looking Murphy has such a lack of sentiment. Two weapons dealers and 10K stumble into a town of rednecks and are imperilled. Vasquez is an arse and I miss Mack. The cartel guy shows up again to annoy. This ep had an awful lot of middle, an overly convoluted flagging plot with poor dialogue and a Butch&Sundance homage.

Best Lines:
“You looted Graceland?”

“I’ve been thinking.”
“Not again.”

The Collector
The gang are running low on supplies, again. Murphy is captured by a zombie obsessed nutter who foresaw the zombie apocalypse. This was good and the highlight is a cameo by a zombie George RR Martin.

Best Lines:
“Remember fresh breath?”

“Don’t eat that tree.”

“I blow my nose and mud comes out.”

“The not knowing is much more horrifying don’t you think?”

“I’m going to make tons of money when eBay comes back.”

The gang are in Roswell and encounter weirdoes (Missi Pyle and Doug Jones). They begin to suspect that aliens are lurking due to the weird goings on and dead MIBs. Vasquez needs to go as he annoys. This was goodish and a character was named Dan Scully.

Best Line:
“Stalkers from space.”

We Were Nowhere Near The Grand Canyon
Where did they get more ammo? Roberta dreams about Vasquez. Citizen Z is still fighting zombies. A Z storm is coming and the gang end up in an Indian Casino. There is no sense of jeopardy, no panache and no fascinating sense of danger. You have the terrible realisation that this is a bad ep which is sadly a recurrence in season 2. There is bad acting and unfriendly Native Americans. Doc trips and things gets joyless and dubious. Murphy is all self-regard, self-delusion and staggering pomposity. Zombies are herded into the Grand Canyon.

Best Line:
“Brain eating ghouls.”

The Durrells 1x05
This was pointless and futile as things negatively impact the clan. Louisa’s social objective is to shag Sven. This ep was tepid, untethered and weak. Nobody acts like it is the 1930s. Louisa’s friend is infertile and too ego-centric to adopt. More brain-curdlingly banal things happen. The Durrell’s vile relatives show up. Louisa and her chewed toffee pout is disconsolate. This had no ambitious narrative strategy.

Larry and Nancy (who is revealed at last as his wife, not girlfriend) make out. Overdone and farcical things happen as the vile relatives have vitriolic energy. People react beyond rational proportion. Gerald is told about conservation. Larry gets a rejection letter and acts like a grandiose egotist. Louisa’s relatives are incredibly horrible. Larry is a Great Male narcissist. I’ve read exactly one Lawrence Durrell novel. It was ‘The Dark Labyrinth’ and it was awful in so many ways.

Louisa has a desire to remain unpoliced. Nothing culturally significant happens. For all their whining about perpetual poverty, the Durrell clan seem to be fine. Crude and inept things are sad by suffocating conservative people. Louisa is threatened with a custody fight in a narrative of awfulness. There is a poisonous atmosphere and shirtlessness. The Countess annoys, Nancy is a dick bicycle and Sven takes up a lot of screen time.

Best Lines:
“Did the manly work not go very well?”

“Animals are walking germ dispensers.”

“Why are they all so horrid?”

“Supper needs shooting.”

“Copulating a lot.”

“Squeeze box playing goatherd.”

“That is what people are and that is what people think.”

“No fornicating.”

“What needs mending?”
“The house.”

The Team
The movie universe ignores this show thankfully. Daisy assembles the Secret Warriors; there is ominous mood music and no sense of wonder. SHIELD get Malick and Coulson is a weak leader and SHIELD are bad people. There is sombre delivery and the Inhumans are suspected. May and Coulson are extremely racist against the Inhumans and promptly destroy the Secret Warriors. Nobody has warmth, kindness and inclusivity just moral corruption. There is no inspiration or energy. Coulson is laughably pretentious. This ep fails spectacularly and is claggy and unwatchable. Lincoln is treated badly and the doomed Malick warns darkly. May is antagonistic. This was limp and there is a twist that makes no sense.

Best Lines:
“Fly faster.”

“What is that thing parading around as Grant Ward?”

“It is a god, it’s just not ours.”

“There is a reckoning coming.”

“If you trust any of them, stop now.”

“Zombie Ward.”

“Everyone looks suspicious if you stare at them long enough.”

“Aren’t you a spy? Learn Spanish.”

“Malick wasn’t lying.”
“I so badly hoped he was.”

The Legend Of Kate Crawford
Curtis voices discontent. Annoying law enforcement annoy and women annoy. There are grievance politics and Martin had a fearsome reputation while undercover for MI6 in 2001. This was not utterly fascinating. There are reveals, plotting, overwhelming bleakness and Martin is haunted by his dimly remembered past. There is 3D gun printing and in 1975 Martin did steely uncomplaining duty at his odd boarding school. Expectations were not met.

Martin got guidance in 1975. People have excesses of despair and there is no certainty of tone and Martin is forever defined by lies and legends. This doesn’t even have the decency to remain consistent and this was not relentlessly likeable. The baddies are not highly articulate and it apparently all ties together somehow.

Best Line:
“Don’t ever threaten me again.”
Tags: agents of shield, game of thrones, legends, review, z nation

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