epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Agents Of SHIELD 3x16 + The Durrells 1x04 + Legends 2x01 Reviewed

Paradise Lost
This is not what euphoria looks like. Excellence is not within touching distance. There are flashbacks to young Gideon and his brother Nathaniel in 1970. Whitehall (Reed Diamond) ran Hydra from jail. Gideon isn’t deliciously charismatic and has made many subsequent bad choices. Gideon’s blonde daughter (Bethany Joy Lenz) is a true Hydra believer. Ward has a disdainful mindset. Coulson still has bitter vitriol as does May. SHIELD doesn’t have moral ambiguities, they create their own enemies.

WTF is wrong with Coulson and co? They’re relentlessly brutal and abhor Ward, yet Cal was let away with everything he did. SHIELD is so utterly hateful. Coulson is all kitsch and self-aggrandising. Coulson is also all narcotised facial expressions. Ward is all broodingly intense staring. This episode had no social critiques or developed characters. Whitehall was all pretension and contentiousness and silly accent.

Gideon has no ostentatious humility and is reprehensible, immoral and cruel. He also suffers from rising paranoia and insecurity and is a cold, calculating murderer. Daisy and Lincoln visit an irritating git who has no threat of feral menace, he‘s just a dreadful whinger. This episode had no indie-art house deep existential stylings. The worshippers of the Inhuman god have tacit hierarchies and rules. SHIELD deride Ward some more, they’re ice cold preening narcissists. Ward/Inhuman god shows its true self and is a mythic unknowable figure.

Lincoln is not a constantly thrilling intellectual and sexual presence. WTF is Hydra up to? SHIELD worship Coulson in some cult of the auteur. He is creating a conformist, emotionless, anti-intellectual dystopia. May gets mass adulation for nothing. This was not compulsively watchable. May is all disdainful glances and no subtle wryness. Why does Ward/Inhuman god inspire such feverish devotion? A Kree ball is waved around. TPTB can’t clothe the narrative in a patina of respectability.

SHIELD is irritating, shrill and self-absorbed. Self-pity is Gideon’s default mode. The Inhumans have a careful confected legend and their self-mythologizing is an exasperating orbit of chaos. Mack is all hypermasculinity. May does withering glances. Nobody acknowledges that Ward didn’t deserve to be murdered. This episode has no clarification or nuance and was not artistically interesting. Gideon’s daughter sees Ward as unquestioned authority and dies for her father’s manpain. Daisy is all withering disdain, she’s eternal fraudulence. This had no potency.

This was not beautifully horrifying. Fitz has an amplified lack of respect for Ward’s memory. Lincoln is soaking in melancholy and SHIELD is mutually reprehensible. Axe this, this show already ruined the planned ‘Inhumans’ movie.

Best Lines:
“You said you killed him.”
“I did.”
“Well, you didn’t kill him hard enough.”

“Brutal. Even for him.”

“This is not Ward.”

“Sacrificed to a liquid rock.”

“Ward’s corpse walking around.”

“A graveyard of bones on that plant.”

“See and believe.”

“Nothing sinister about that.”

The Durrells 1x04
This was inessential and had no excavation of meaning. Everyone dislikes Leslie, sad foreshadowing of his eventual lonely estranged end. Louisa talks about men. Margot is a companion to the countess (Leslie Caron). Gerald brings home bats and baby owls. Larry had a wife at this point in time. Leslie locks Larry in the outhouse with the bats. Leslie is bothered by an angry peasant and Larry kills a bat. Leslie is banished from the villa. Gerald loves any creeping venomed thing that lives. Larry and Leslie are unmannered dogs. The maid thinks Leslie is the best child. This was unexciting.

There are dissenting rumours and Leslie is arrested. Louisa has too long borne Larry’s gross taunts, blunt upbraiding and bitter scoffs. He baits, scorns and storms. This was a direful pageant of sad mischance. There were foul wrongs and no recomforture. This was dull and unmindful. Sad and lonely Leslie is ‘hilariously’ intemperate. Louisa wears a hideous purple flapper dress on a drunken boat ride.

There is bad diction and this had no symbolic import just revisionist retelling of a true story. Louisa is perpetually harassed. This was not a largely delightful account of the studied eccentricity of utterly socially inept types. Pathetically desperate Larry is dubiously smooth and strives for twit through insult.

Best Lines:
“I don’t believe in stealing cheap Greek whiskey.”

“A tall evil goblin.”

“His voice is rather unpleasant.”

“That’s a story in book form with chapters.”

“I want Leslie dead.”

“I’ll make you clean out the pelican.”

“I was armed and we did rob somebody.”

“Oh, you.”

“Frog-marching us all to the church at gun-point.”

“You dare sing one sea-shanty.”

“If you say anything nice, I’ll cry.”

“Changed my mind, dug it up and stuffed it.”

The Legend Of Dimitry Petrovich
Prague 2001 and Martin was or was pretending to be a criminal who had no benign demeanour. In the present he is in London. 98% of the season 1 cast are gone and there is no unblinking insight into what is going on. Martin has disaffiliated from the FBI and a rabid FBI agent who knew him as Dimitry Petrovich wants to know what is going on. He also wants to know why there is no international manhunt.

There are flashbacks to 1975 and Martin’s time in a boarding school of horrors. There are intermittent jolts of pathos, broken dreams and hard times. This was not brave or interesting. A teenage girl is stupid and this ep had an inability to make me care. This had no visual panache just disowned feelings and many a damaged FBI agent.

Is the teenage girl and her harassed mother Martin’s real family? This was not witty or good and I don’t really care about Martin’s mind altering identity crisis.

Best Lines:
“Maybe I could clear my name, whatever the hell it is."

“You’re not important enough to kill me.”
Tags: agents of shield, legends, review

Comments for this post were disabled by the author