epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Legends Of Tomorrow 1x08 + Colony 1x03 + Supergirl 1x12 + Agent Carter 2x05 Reviewed

Night Of The Hawk
The gang are in a town called Harmony in 1958. Vandal Savage lurks in the woods. Snart slouches and pretends to be an FBI agent. This was directed by Joe Dante. Jax notices correctly that Harmony is how horror movies start. Stein needs a slap. Nobody has any stressors and all seem undaunted by time travel. Sara wears an ugly nurse’s uniform. Vandal Savage has a wife and a casserole dish. People act like 2016 values can be applied in 1958.

Savage is doing something involving crappy SFX. He also has golf pants. What is Nth metal? Hawkgirl wears a not very 1958 style dress. This started out well but went downhill. Chronos shows up. Sara, Ray and Kendra are stranded in 1958. This was not smart, nuanced or gripping.

Best Lines:
“Quaint little hamlet.”

“A more accepting one.”

“I like my town’s backward.”

“The local insane asylum would be fertile ground for clues.”

“Fate is a prison.”

“Oh come on!”

“Why did they leave us?”

98 Seconds
It’s Day 341 of the occupation. The Resistance have radio broadcasts. But they’re still not very smart. Bram records them on cassette tapes. The Resistance do an alleyway ambush, are unfriendly and it all goes awry. Katie is inept and the Resistance kill their own wounded. The drones kill looters. Gracie’s creepy perky tutor lurks. Katie humps Will’s leg.

I don’t care about Katie and her emotional trauma. Katie isn’t moral, just and right. The lightshow in 1x01 was a launch. A launch of what? Bram and his teacher bond over the Resistance. Telescopes are forbidden and something is in Earth’s orbit. Will has to know Katie is in the Resistance. San Francisco and Kentucky are still around judging by the alcohol deliveries for Katie’s bar. Also chargrilled oysters were on the menu at Katie’s bar. Bram’s galpal has a secret.

Homeland has breach teams and radios. Will doesn’t believe in gun holsters and gets ass sweat on his gun. The aliens banned sports? Bram’s galpal knows of a tunnel beyond the wall and says there are no people out there. Quayle is Katie’s Resistance boss and he threatens to kill Will. Oddly the Bowman’s aren’t pariahs. Beau and his ugly shirts tells his back-story. Snyder shows up and hints at the danger LA is in. Will and Beau’s co-worker Jennifer is a true believer. Katie sets their boss Phyllis (Kathy Baker of 'Picket Fences') up to be killed.

Best Lines:
“He’s bleeding everywhere!”

“Stop clock two.”

“The youth of the colony.”

“This was a planned op that went bad.”

“No one gets taken.”

“What’s out there?”
“The rest of the world.”

“Medicalled out.”

“There are no people.”

“Will needs to get a lot worse at his job.

“No one can change our present situation.”

This show has no vivid characterisation or linear clarity. Lord does more moral injustices. Supergirl is an alien, does she even have DNA? Winn and his botched romantic liaison bore. When Cat chews on her sunglasses - does she not get a mouthful of ear sweat? Lord has dark mojo. Cat has Joker lips. Lord is a monster and has a queasy turn. Kara and Cat’s son have questionable courtship rituals.

Bizarro and her skater skirt is cranked up with rage. Kara is sombrely sweet. I don’t care about Winn and his seething sexual jealously. Lord is ghastly and militantly appalling. Adam is frankly uninteresting. Kara is pretty vacant. Lord went through 7 girls to create Bizarro. He doesn’t care. Lord has more moral infelicities. Alex responds with characteristic gun-wielding unreason.

There is no narrative justification for Lord not being killed. He has a lack of compassion. Lord sees Supergirl as the threat and himself as the sole authentic genius. Or he may simply have a vendetta against young women with eccentric names. James is detracted from commitment with Lucy. Bizarro breathes fire. WTF? Lord is finally arrested. James is in peril. Lord will not stop talking. How did Alex get to the warehouse for the fight? How does Lord go to the toilet in his cell? There is another cliffhanger as Kara is jumped. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Grab eyeballs.”

“Bad. Very bad.”

“What do we do to bad people?”
“We kill them.”

“Things will get very bad for you.”

“Hate you!”

“I’d be very angry about that.”

The Atomic Job
There is a solemn atmosphere but no sincere feelings. Sousa proposes only for Violet to realise he fancies Peggy. Jarvis is unfathomably frivolous. Frost has deluded views. This was dull and uninteresting and offers so much to complain about. There are bursts of shouty violence by guest star Ken Marino. This was vomitacious. There is a surfeit of wilfully prolix plotlines. Peggy is a life-ruiner. This has no whimsical internal logic and there are selfish omissions.

Best Lines:
“That hurts me.”

“The Council does not trade in mercy."
Tags: agent carter, colony, legends of tomorrow, supergirl

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