epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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7 TV Reviews

The Man From UNCLE 2x28 - 2x30

The Bat Cave Affair
Ayn Rand hated this show apparently. Solo looks into a psychic and Illya is in peril from Thrush agent Count Zark (Martin Landau) a wannbe super-villain with Dracula pretensions. Thrush has unfathomable motivations. This ep had no tense gripping atmosphere and was not psychologically acute. Solo is ever avuncular. Illya is cold but riveting. The innocent du jour is of the misfit class. So Solo gives her that classic 60s wardrobe staple: a red plastic raincoat.

There is a hint as to the erotic dimension between Solo and Illya. The psychic is fake, like duh. Zark annoys. The innocent du jour has neither talent nor looks yet is fought over. Illya is sarcastic, Solo is geezerish and Zark has a clumsily overdone plan. Illya is suitably icy whilst being menaced by bats. This was good but how does Illya not contract rabies? At one point a tied up Illya is bent over a desk whilst Solo stands right behind him making weird faces. No comment.

Best Lines:
“I got the knowing way.”

“I’m more than a trifle dubious.”

“There’s piranhas in the moat.”

“Illya, Illya, that’s all you ever care about.”

“It’s difficult for me to contain my admiration.”

“I’m very tolerant.”

The Minus-X Affair
Thrush experiment with the senses. A lady scientist has a daughter. Thrush have unambiguous expression of the purest deepest evil. There is rancour and aggression. This ep is unimpressively willing to please. Everyone has precisely one character note. This was not languorous or tense. A good time girl needs saving. There is a twist, a cold mother and a car wash trick. Thrush has a cunning plan. Solo is in peril. Thrush has by-laws apparently. Solo acts like a 5 year old. The Soviet Illya is found walking around a military base. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Some creepy thing like that”

“We’re unsavoury, you know.”

“Thrush vengeance can be a pretty terrible thing.”

The Indian Affairs Affair
Season 2 ends here. A wooden statue follows Solo down the street. A chief is in peril and his daughter is a go-go dancer. Illya is menaced with red ants but there aren’t any. Illya wears a bad wig and a headband covered with swastikas. This was staid. Thrush invents the suitcase nuke. Uncle seems to win by sheer chance. The baddie is a nut job and this was horribly flawed.

Best Lines:
“I think they were killed off by the crop dusting last year.”

“My friend is always showing off.”

“He said the gun wasn’t loaded.”
“They always say that.”

Agents Of SHIELD 3x14

There is trauma tourism as Simmons whines. This is a Mack ep, why should we care? Is anybody rhapsodic about this show? Mack has a brother and is unappealing. The Watchdogs hate Inhumans. So do TPTB as the Inhumans movie is delayed. Where are the Avengers during all this? There is not startling variety, danger or inventiveness. This ep lacks punch and precision and has un-endearing moments.

The Watchdogs have no full self-development. People suddenly change their minds. SHIELD is not ethical and no one has an inbuilt sanity check. This lacked pace and tension but did reveal unusual allies. The Watchdogs have a stern reproach for people. Coulson is a serious nuisance who needs his authenticity questioned.

Grimfaced Mack is desperately loyal. So much for the betterment of mankind. Mark Dascascos lurks being Hydra for no clear reason. Former SHIELD agent Blake (Titus Welliver) has gone to the bad; probably because his character needed to be torn down to make Coulson look good.

Fitz has walked off his brain damage. Daisy isn’t at her meditative best. May has no accessible companionship. Coulson doesn’t promote inclusively and is all false activism. Coulson spews a tide of petty moral absolutism. Daisy has no prudence, caution or moderation. The script is not a soaring flight of lyrical prose.

Blake plans a messy imbroglio. He’s bitter because he was hospitalised, did anyone visit him? Guess not. Simmons plans vengeance and violence. May is a chilly-eyed observer of murky behaviour. Simmons is morally dubious. May is useless. Simmons has morose interest. Blake has raffishness and bitterness. Daisy whines about hate speech and carries out depraved activities. Daisy is the menacing aggressor here. She invokes a cold swear of disgust.

This ep is a numbing reiteration of Coulson’s blathering of bad platitudes. There is a hostile reception for Inhumans. Mack is entirely detached and completely obstructive. He tries to invoke an air of menace and fails. Mack is utterly indifferent to his brother’s plight. We are supposed to care about Andrew but we don’t. Is the season heading for an Andrew/Inhuman god showdown? Because nobody cares.

Lincoln has undergone an ambush makeover into a SHIELD agent. Coulson won’t shut his mouth. He sings the praises of the unsavoury and simply infantile Hunter and Mockingbird. Daisy’s acts prove that Inhumans are a threat. She is scornful. This ep initially prompted a rare burst of interest which soon fizzled. This was inelegant. SHIELD revel in their sadistic culture. Coulson has an air of entitlement. Blake comments on Coulson’s stupid faked death.

The plot gets increasingly bizarre; this show has failed time and time again. People have a deficiency of will. Daisy’s instinctive reaction to everything is violence. Coulson is not morose, introspective or clever. This ep was not insightful broadcasting and nobody has a heavy dose of guilt for their crap. Blake causes a nuisance. Coulson clammers incessantly about Hydra. Inhumans are a source of friction and further trouble. Coulson creates utter misery. Lincoln is character forming. Everyone has low morals.

Best Lines:
“Set up a roadside stand and tried selling you off to strangers.”

“Your tone of voice makes it sound bad.”

“Helpless little agent Simmons.”

“Hate gives you direction.”

“Is that who we are?”

“We have to take our country back.”

“Shouldn’t we at least try?”

“There had never been a SHIELD.”

“What has SHIELD done in the name of protection?”

“Coercion by any chance.”

The Durrells 1x02
Louisa’s often monstrous children treat her appallingly. This adaptation of Gerald Durrell’s blessedly frivolous novels continues. No one has ever filmed Lawrence Durrell’s works oddly. Larry slights, mocks and undervalues his mother. Their villa falls apart. Their stout maid is useless. Louisa has no money and is profoundly damaged by her horrid lazy children.

Margot tries to be a sexpot. This was all mediocrity. Semi-hysterical Louisa is dislocated and there is no long-term balance in the family. Larry has deeply uncomfortable attitudes. There is unsubtle foreshadowing of Gerald’s zoo-keeping work. No harsh reality intrudes on them. Louisa is emotionally traumatised, people have unending contempt for Margot and Larry bores with his inevitable whingeing.

The villa looks like Chernobyl. Consonant-tastic locals gurn. Louisa wants a friend. Larry fires a gun recklessly. Gerald gets the dogs known as Widdle and Puke in the books. Louisa finds things bleak and dispiriting. Churlish Larry is shady, shabby and unprincipled. There is no careful consideration or balanced responses. Gerald is ungrateful. Larry needs surgery.

The Durrells have active hostility for the locals. This has no meaty gravitas and is not a carefree classic about the culturally closed, wilfully uninterrupted clan. This has nothing special to give. This was an awful spiral of banality. The loose narrative is not an epic melodrama and is lengthy, overblown and implausible. The disintegration of their idyll is not rich, raw or revelatory.

This has no plausible characterisation, decent writing or tension. I don’t care about the Durrells and their cultural superiority. This was disappointingly uninteresting. This was not layered, inspired or brilliant just symptomatic of ITV’s decline. Nothing is carefully curated and there is no sincerity. Larry is blatantly hostile, obtuse and sanctimonious. People have structural falsehoods and Margo swims off. People speak in voices two notches too loud and everyone seems to have conduct/emotion disorders. This is all coldness and needs an emotional recovery programme.

Best Lines:
“Shoot your mother.”

“You don’t know how to shoot.”

“We come for refreshment.”

“Expats and committed migrants.”

“Would you mind not embarrassing me?”

“Have you no pride?”

“Giggling and shopping.”

“Wheel me.”

iZombie 1x12

Dead Rat, Live Rat, Brown Rat, White Rat
Sin from ‘Arrow’ guest stars in the ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ like opener. Liv has synthetic outrage. Blaine is able to be elusive. No way is Liv going to help anyone. She has no redemptive efficacy. Liv listens but does not hear. Liv is dissembling and dismissive. This is not a solemn drama; the trusty narrative format is not thrillingly told as per usual. This ep was disastrous. Liv’s roommate’s laxity of attention finally ends. Major and Liv’s brother are in peril. What’s going on? The wild rocker chick is in peril, nobody cares. Liv is a horrible selfish person.

Best Lines:
“Everything comes out of nowhere when your headlights are off.”

“You okay man?”
“Does he look frigging okay?”

“I’m not taking a shower wearing tampon sandals.”

American Crime Story: The People v OJ Simpson 1x09

Manna From Heaven
People forget too little as Cochran has rhapsodies over causing trouble. Everyone forgets OJ is the one on trial. The trial is a circus due to Cochran’s showboating and the media whore judge. This ep was banal, fraught and transformative. Darden gets angry, Ito has mumbled, tetchy sensitivity and this was a chaotic medley not a steady pensive drama. Cochran makes constant insinuations. This show has sharply deteriorated as Cochran creates a false consciousness and is symbolic. Cochran has brash self-confidence and this was terrible.

Best Lines:
“You couldn’t get away with this plot twist in an airport paperback.”

“I resent that statement!”

“Gratuitous alliteration.”

“This screams gross incompetence.”

“A pouch big enough to hide cats in.”
Tags: agents of shield, american crime story, dracula, izombie, man from uncle, review

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