Tess nearly drowns herself in a bathtub. Her gravestone obsession is not a noble crusade just an overblown school project. There is a total lack of empathy and an old mine opens up under her lawn. This was stodgy with blue tinged flashbacks. There is an unquiet spirit and an unspecific threat. There is no sense of the physical or topography of the world. The underlying presumption is that I should care. I don’t.
“I saw the lawn disappear!”
Barry tries to be suave. Iris does not have a calming effect, Joe’s ex is dying and Cisco joyfully intuits. Why does Harry keep squeezing into that yellow suit? Tina McGee (Amanda Pays of ‘Leviathan’, ‘The Kindred’ and ‘Thief Takers’) is in peril. There is punching, a retcon and Harry has to draw a diagram explaining it all. Barry is aggressive, Snow is useless and makes implausible decisions. This was intermittently interesting. Nobody can make spontaneous conversation. Wally has intransigence. There is a fight and no authentic brittleness.
Thawne has serious bad-ass decay. Nobody mentions that Thawne killed the real Earth 1 Wells. Thawne has pathetic motives. Cisco has no propriety, Patty is so pathetic and there is not a vestige of quality. This ep and everyone in it is terrible. There are ‘Back To The Future’ homages. Barry is a selfish asshat. Thawne meets Earth 2 Harry and this is how he knew to replace Wells and take over STAR Labs. Barry created his own worst enemy.
Didn’t the particle accelerator blow up? Jay shows Snow his Earth 1 doppelganger Hunter Zoloman. Patty finally heads off to Midway City. Jay is too dumb to live and there is blathering about energy force. No more.
“Yeah that’s right, I see plays.”
“A timeline remnant.”
“Nothing can change that.”
“I will never lose to you again.”
“Every time I’ll be ready for you.”
“This is his origin story.”
“Who are you?”
This has annoying opening credits and unwanted kitchen sink drama. People smoke drugs and our hero calls up a cam-girl. There are stereotypes and the aliens are nicknamed Morks. Our hero is thick, catastrophic and forlorn. There are determined and ruthless aliens. Our hero learns he is half alien and that his dad isn’t his dad. I care not.
“I make on-purposes.”
“It’s more a collection of horrible people.”
“Anyone else but him.”
“It’s anatomically impossible.”
“It was all for nothing.”
“She lied, go figure.”
“Watch your back Barbie.”
“A sociopath can’t be sorry.”
“He hasn’t killed anybody. That we know of.”