‘Legends of Tomorrow’ promo
Mmmmm.
‘Zoolander 2’ TV spot
“Sexy fighting!”
‘Chubby Puppies’ ad
No.
‘Spy Squad Barbie’ ad
No.
‘The Aliens’ promo
This E4 show looks ugh.
Gluten free chicken & herb pie - okay.
Stuffed peppers - yum.
Raspberry crisp milk chocolate - yum.
Jasmine green tea - good.
Red Velvet doughnut - yum.
Mexican Lime and Lemongrass presse - very good.
Strawberry chewits - good.
I will read ‘The Prophecy of Bees’, ‘Cold Embrace’, ‘Paper Tigers’, ‘Jolly Foul Play’, ‘The Mammoth Book of Roman Whodunnits’ and ‘The Veil’.
I won’t review ‘Art in the Blood‘,’ A School For Unusual Girls’, ‘The Square Root of Summer’, ‘Time Salvager’ or ‘A Wicked Thing’.
Bryan Fuller is the show runner of the new ‘Star Trek’ show?
The French DVD cover for David McCallum’s ‘L’Homme Invisible’ is very good.
‘The Man From UNCLE’ is called ‘Des Agents Tres Speciaux’ in France.
WTF is a European Continental superstar?
‘Frasier’ Quote:
“Foot people.”
‘The Goldbergs’ Quote:
“You thought monsters lived in the toilet.”
‘Futurama’ Quotes:
“That slutty dress.”
“How in satan’s good name?”
‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Dressed like a James Bond villain.”
“Tumbling uselessly in space.”
“A deliverable nuclear weapon.”
“He is Jesus on Earth.”
‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Malicious choice of words.”
“Woefully inadequate.”
“Serious credibility questions.”
“Abrasive interloper.”
“Factional conspiracy.”
“Would just like to interact with.”
“Substantial implications.”
“Control failures.”
“Constituency of death.”
“The beneficiary of some bafflingly positive reviews.”
“Constitutes its own horrible genre.”
“Spends too much time picking fights in a seedy bar.”
“Utter feebleness.”
“An ironic filter.”
“Girls don’t much like Marvel movies.”
“Mixes hemlock in with his familiar smooth charm.”
“Distracting from accumulating preposterousness.”
“Ruthless self-sufficiency.”
“Carnality.”
“Grim circumstances.”
“Pitilessly and commendably economic.”
“Titular boorish nuisance.”
“Fluent sitcom-ese.”
“Shallow, idiotic dirtbags.”
“Occasionally useless.”
“Unwillingness to admit.”
“An infuriating, charismatic persuasive monster.”
“Obligation chocolate.”
“Miserable stupidity.”
“The unknowable other.”
“Maladaptive.”
“Treament-resistence.”
“Crytomarkets.”
“Deterring repercussions.”
“He voices a talking ball of snot.”
“Further unpleasant complications.”
“The less savoury elements of the counterculture.”
“Passionately unhinged.”
“Cold simplicity.”
“Found sounds.”
“Subtle emotional insights.”
“Fluid and euphonious.”
“Added a bit more grim.”
“Mass veneration.”
“Raw desperation.”
“A rare and necessary instance of overt authorial judgement.”
“Self-pitying pronouncement.”
“Re-inscribing.”
“Painfully disengaged.”
“Unusually memorable.”
“Debasement of morality.”
“An emerging trend.”
“Mistakes shouting for passion.”
“A nasty tenor.”
“An excoriating critique.”
“Because you’ll end up getting shot.”
“A different presumption.”
“A $10 edible thong.”
“Fantastically disinterested.”
“Kept her stuck in one place, while the lives of everyone around her moved on.”
“Crisp-and-wine-based diet.”
“Won’t be able to share or understand or give back.”
“Looking like a Viking lumberjack.”
‘News’ Quotes:
“Binary black holes are out there.”
“We’ll begin listening to the universe.”
‘Love and Louis XIV’ Quote:
“No stranger to the art of moral denunciation.”
‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes:
“Told us not to play with cobras.”
“Drunk at the bottom of a pool.”
‘Teen Mom OG: A Closer Look’ Quotes:
“Pulled knives on each other.”
“Share my therapy on MTV.”
“His parents want him there.”
‘Henry VII: Winter King’ Quotes:
“His wife-killing son.”
“An iron determination.”
“Masked a savage intensity.”
“Best content the king.”
“Falcons brought from Hungary.”
“At large on the continent.”
“He would never emerge.”
“Thrillingly violent.”
“Gentlemen of low degree.”
“Holding urine flasks.”
“Sly clutching hands.”
~
On ‘Neighbours’: Paige was arrested on her wedding day to Brennan by Brennan. Tyler and Paige are dumb. Paul steals from Doug. Paige broods in her Snow White wedding dress. She’s trash. Brad never apologised to Terese for humiliating her. Lauren and her pee coloured hair whines. Brennan yells at Paige for her lying and shady behaviour. Paige whines and slanders dead Kate’s memory. Paige’s wedding meal was all beer. Classy. She was hauled off in handcuffs and people shrieked: what has she done? Well she wrecked two marriages, lied, fornicated, stole, vandalised, bullied, poisoned her grandmother, caused a car wreck, defamed her adoptive family, committed fraud and impersonation, is an exhibitionist, carried out a hate campaign, was ungrateful and cheated. And Doug was going to give her 20 grand?!?!? Paige’s mother (the one who actually raised her) shows up. Paige refuses to admit fault and does the walk of shame in her drunken swan dress. Sonya’s plot bores and Piper is a tool. Brennan starts pitying Paige. Tyler and his skank annoy. Why is Paige so aggressively dismissive of sense?
Best Lines:
“YOU ARRESTED ME ON OUR WEDDING DAY!”
“You just don’t care.”
“It doesn’t stop!”
“I don’t like it when you cross me.”
“I think it’s best if you never talk to me again.”
~
On ‘Hollyoaks’: I don’t care about their emotional trials. Ben fails to kill Trevor. This was discordantly banal and not morally sound. Grace is all arch vapidity. There is zero necessity for the Loveday plot. Ben is soaked in the glutinous oil of paranoia. Nobody calls the cops after Ben fired a gun. John-Paul and Cleo have no basic moral structure. This was not long on emotional impact just nonsensical nitwittery. Ben shows off his rank incompetence as a cop and his domestic abuser tendencies. He’s angry, bitter and disillusioned. Diane is in contact with Sinead? Diane brings up Finn. The Lovedays have non-event drama with convoluted logic. There is not one ounce of subtlety. Nico plays Ben and Sienna. Ben is awful. Cleo is blithely unaware of sense. Trevor and Sienna make out. TPTB are guilty of grossly unprofessional behaviour.
Ben and Trevor have yet another confrontation. Pete lives in a van. Everyone quite reasonably thinks Cleo is a tool. This show has no thematic coherence. Trevor isn’t an indifferent and cold hard bastard anymore. Cleo throws away her schooling to become a waitress to fund her ‘escape’ with Pete. Ben is without a hint of tenderness and is in no way a comforting presence. Theresa lurks dressed bizarrely. Grace is turned on by the idea of Trevor beating up people. Nico is shrill and incapable of warm human conversation. Cleo has mad whims. Theresa walks in on Zack shagging his dad’s ex-lover.
Best Lines:
“Cowering underneath his duvet somewhere.”
“What a gutless wonder his dad is.”
“I HAVE A GUN IN MY HANDBAG!”
“Go bothering yourself.”
“Diane fed me.”
“Before I could say Strangeways.”