epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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epiphany_maria

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5 TV Reviews

iZombie (2015 - ?) 1x01

Pilot
Doctor Liv goes to a party on a boat and zombies attack and she becomes a zombie and this all takes place before the opening credits. This was created by Rob Thomas from a comic I’ve never heard of. Liv wears a bad wig and David Anders is in this as another unexpected zombie. Liv steals brains from the morgue and eats them with hot sauce. Was the zombie outbreak caused by a designer drug? Liv gets memories from the brains she eats and helps a cop to solve the murder of a ho. Liv is lost and isolated and not looked after by her friends and family. People are deceitful and this was seemingly dubious but was okay. Liv won’t talk to anyone as she fears social repudiation. On cursory analysis, the plot resolution is not maniac brilliance. This was implausible and the David Anders revelation causes Liv perturbation. I’ll watch more.

Best Lines:
“You’ve all the making of a nemesis.”

“An inexplicable zombie outbreak.”

“Place of love.”

“Please say vomit.”

“The trophy wife and the intruder were one of our go-to’s.”

“Like satan with a fat ass.”

~
Scream Queens 1x13

The Final Girls
This was okay but logic was an absent presence as Hester narrates her ridiculously auterish long in the planning murder spree. Boone’s dumb, Hester spared Grace because she was nice to her and she hires Steven Culp to play her father. Chanel, Chanel 3 and Chanel 5 are framed as psycho killers. Why was Chanel 2 killed then? Chad is dumb, the Chanels are arrested in hilarious fashion and vagueness goes on.

Best Lines:
“Killing herself with laxatives.”

“Clock of social invisibility.”

“Our daughter sucks.”

“Some people don’t deserve to just get murdered.”

”God already blessed me with toenail clippers in the form of teeth in my mouth."

“The worst human beings I have ever encountered.”

~
Catherine Cookson: The Man Who Cried (1993)
Ciaran Hinds stars in this soppy ITV miniseries that tells the tale of ego-driven middle class wanquerie and bad women with no moral obligations. This was deeply insincere. One does not care about the prevailing malaise and hunger marches of the 1930s.

Best Lines:
“He’s done his wife in.”

“I’m done supporting you!”

~
Miami Vice (1984 - 1990) 4x22&5x01

Mirror Image
After a boat explosion Crockett gets amnesia and thinks he really is his drug dealing undercover identity. Either that or he has had a nervous breakdown induced DID episode. Julia Roberts pops up as a drug dealers PA. Chris Cooper is in this. Tubbs has a beard. Hardfaced Don Johnson gives evil looks wears dark evil clothing and has evil hair and looks fine for someone blown up in a boat at sea. Tubbs cannot act. Edward James Olmos looks dreadful as the boss. Crockett and his shiny face plots and kills people and has no moral boundaries.

Crockett or should one say Burnett shoots Tubbs in a dry ice filled dark alley as a terrible 80s song plays. Tubbs survives cos of a bullet proof vest and is confused. A corrupt cop (Cooper and his huge 80s hair) plots. Tubbs screams. This was good.

Best Lines:
“I love vice.”

“Maybe your judgement is a little cloudy.”

“It was dark.”
“Not that dark.”

“There’s something really wrong with Sonny.”

“You’re not that good.”

~
Hostile Takeover
Sonny still thinks he is ruthless thug Burnett. The soundtrack is completely different. A drug war looms. Annoying types party. Don Johnson directs this ep full of 80s tech, 80s hair and a guest appearance by Matt Frewer. Sonny (Johnson) has a ponytail, how much time has passed since 4x22? Where did Julia Roberts’ character go? There is death and bad acting and terrible lines.

Tubbs goes undercover with a bad Jamaican accent and Sonny doesn’t know him. Tubbs is slow on the uptake. Sonny has flashbacks to who he really is and targets another damaged woman. Sonny is a way better criminal than he ever was as a cop. He manipulates a drug dealer, his badly permed son and his trophy wife. Sonny is now the bad guy. Where are the cops? Sonny is a sexist pig as Burnett and murders more people.

Tubbs and Sonny have a confrontation full of increduility and dismay. Sonny wears a nice suit, Tubbs is stupid and it ends in a cliffhanger. This was not good not even a little bit.

Best Lines:
“Don’t touch me old man. Don’t ever touch me!”

“Never saw the day when dope dealers would organise.”

“I hear interesting things about you Burnett.”

“Punk ass silk suit!”

“Make love to my woman!”

“Get this trash out of here.”
Tags: izombie, review, scream queens
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