epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Movie Reviews: Flash Gordon + Clash of the Titans + Furious 6

Flash Gordon (1980)
This has a soundtrack by Queen, 80s SFX, Max Von Sydow as the petty minded Ming and 80s hair. It is regarded as a cult classic but is actually ineffective and increasingly deranged. Dale Arden cannot act and this is all dire derivative dross. This is slightly camp and not challenging or interesting. A contrarian mad scientist with messianic will runs around. Flash is played by a lump of skirt beef incapable of emotional weight. There is constant shouting and all round blanket agitation. This was not splendid at all just towering idiocy and utter awfulness. Watch this with a despairing will. There is no elaborate symbolism and any sort of realistic conventions are casually ignored. This was sugary and drunk on blockbuster quantities of self importance. This lacks psychological gristle.

Best Lines:
“This Ming is a psycho.”

“Prepare her for our pleasure.”

“This place is a lunatic asylum.”

~
Clash Of The Titans (2010)
Full of bad acting and nonsensical plotting. This is neither morally obligatory nor morally praiseworthy. Also poor Hades, TPTB never get the mythology right.

~
Furious 6 (2013)
Loud, dumb and made me nauseous.
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