epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Blindspot 1x05 + The Man From UNCLE 1x26-1x29 Reviewed

Split The War
I am going right off this show. There is crass grandstanding and internal sanctimony by Kurt. There is impending misfortune, Jane fluffs effusively and nobody talks about how weird and traumatic this whole experience must be. Threats are hissed and people have immunity from shame. There are callous and cruel fakers. Jane the uninvited cuckoo annoys. People have antipathy and I’m not getting any joy from this.

There is malignity and unique moral arrogance. This show is in dire straits already. It is hardened, sterile and doing drama. There is spectacular acrimony, profound crisis, dreadful moves and people pick fights that often exist nowhere but in their imagination. TPTB make terrible miscalculations and this was dreadful and disastrous.

There are unfounded rantings. Kurt talks about what happened after Taylor Shaw vanished in sadly limited fashion. This has no resonant emotional core or investment. Jane has a flashback and Kurt spews platitudinous drivel. There is perception of threat, behavioural challenges and this was pointless. There was a lack of compromise and an unceasing horde of baddies and gun pulling. Nobody has steely professionalism just criminal incompetence. Kurt’s smug father shows up. Snarky is a bad un.

Best Lines:
“Stands in direct conflict.”

“This is the illustrated woman.”

“Troublemaker hostages.”

“Where do you hide something that makes everybody sick?”
“A place where everyone’s already dead.”

“It’s game over for everyone in the cemetery.”

“I can’t give you someone who doesn’t exist.”

The Love Affair
Solo is a lech, cos he’s classy like that. He also does manspreading. A preacher named Brother Love has a cult. Women have bland expressions and Illya’s political beliefs are shown. Solo hurls acerbic barbs and icy contempt as he is in peril. The innocent is in full on simper. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“It has that scent of bloodstained events trailing in its wake.”

“Suddenly I feel very Russian.”

“These mental lepers.”

“I don’t seem to be dead.”

The Gazebo In The Maze Affair
Illya is in peril from a baddie who exudes bonhomie and the wrath of self-righteousness. Illya is snarling, resentful, aggrieved and long suffering. Solo deals with surly locals. There is bad acting, rich weirdoes, a wolf that looks like a dirty sheepdog, an escape and Solo is smug and seems to have a nasty bloodblister under one fingernail. Good.

Best Lines:
“Nobody in their right mind ever takes a journey to Eastsnout.”

“He had that terrible accident that killed him.”

“That’ll be far enough yank.”

The Girls Of Nazarone Affair
Illya reminds Solo that he likes blondes. Their relentless one-onemanship goes on. A group of women (including Sharon Tate) do nefarious things. Solo gets bitchslapped. Solo and Illya share a hotel room. Solo menaces and then is menaced. People are dismissed and discounted. A villain from a previous episode returns. Illya saves the day. There is a bad makeup job and Solo enjoys being beaten up by Sharon Tate. This was okay and Solo has extravagant self-pity.

Best Lines:
“He looks a little dead.”

“Become thoroughly murdered.”

“I neither know you nor like your face.”

“Crawling around under both our beds planting microphones.”

“Buy things. Expensive things.”

“Can’t find anything that goes hiss, boom or bang.”
“How very un-diabolical of them.”

“Come little man.”

The Odd Man Affair
The final episode of season 1. Men in trench coats and sunglasses stalk around. Extremist leaders plot. UNCLE looks up an old OSS agent to impersonate a man. An innocent du jour (Barbara Shelley) lurks. They go to Speaker’s Corner and there is essentially innocent exuberance. Solo gets shot. Illya is droll and there is a strip club with no stripping.

Sign language is used. There is a fight. Solo is always pleased with himself for no obvious reason. The OSS guy seems to think this will be a great triumph for his macho prowess. Solo does not apologise for anything and remains firmly wedded to his insistence that he is brilliant. The OSS guy has fawning, modern-day courtliness. There is no anti-establishment irreverence and nobody is emotionally fragile. The OSS guy is angry and lonely which leads to an utterly dramatic fateful journey. Bad people die because they are morons. There is an ongoing battle over the culture of invective and moral invigilation. This was good and I’m looking forward to season 2.

Best Lines:
“If you prefer such a bourgeois description of an act of pure presence of mind.”
“I prefer.”

“You really don’t trust me, do you?”
“Not a whole lot, no.”

“You are a sly Russian.”

“Some foul SoHo strip club.”

“I’m not that mad.”

“Remarkable, the number of people who find it necessary to protect their eyes in such a dimly lit room.”
Tags: blindspot, man from uncle

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