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epiphany_maria

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7 TV Reviews

Agents Of SHIELD 3x09

Closure
Coulson and Ros hang out. Why? Coulson won’t communicate in honest, straightforward and open means. He’s an inordinate and inexcusable ass. Thankfully Ward kills the simpering Ros. Coulson does ‘grief’, he cannot act. If Coulson hadn’t treated Ward with such mockery and disloyalty, none of this would be happening. Coulson does cretinous head tilting and is over-reliant on his wanton desire for revenge. He is contemptuous and celebrates victimhood and acts in indecently low ways.

I really don’t care about Coulson and his ‘radical mood’. SHIELD are morons and act like criminals. SHIELD has no issue with menacing Ward’s other brother. There is more mockery and dismissal of the abuse that happened in the Ward family. Mack is still a tool. Ward fails to notice Gideon is setting him up. Coulson does more moronic crap. Hydra head to the blue world in search of their Inhuman god. This was inept.

Best Lines:
“What’s wrong with you people?”

“Grant was 17 when he burned my parents’ house down with Christian inside.”

“Phil Couslson is of no consequence.”

~
Person Of Interest 4x09

The Devil You Know
Elias the rubbish gangster took out the Russian mob and the Dons and now we’re supposed to care about his war with Dominic? This ep had no ferrous tang. I don’t care about Dominic’s crime matters or orchestrated campaign. I don’t care about Elias the rubbish gangster’s redundant bureaucratic practices and duplicate functions. This show has lost heat and has no intensity. Dominic is hostile and mocking. Where is Fusco? Elias the rubbish gangster bores. This was terrible. Why are Finch and Reese bigging up Elias the rubbish gangster and fawning over him? Why won’t TPTB kill off Elias the rubbish gangster? Shaw is locked up.

Best Lines:
“To become a slumlord?”

“Don’t make me regret it again.”

“Always a game within the game.”

~
Scream Queens 1x08

Mommie Dearest
There is a ‘Psycho’ homage for no reason. There are three killers. Chanel glares resentfully. Everyone is a cunning awful miscreant. Grace is a moron. Someone is killed. Grace learns there were two babies born to bathtub mom and Chanel learns stuff about Grace’s mom and confronts her. There is a hilarious flashback to ‘young’ Weston in 1995. Denise confronts Chanel about her awfulness. Boone lurks, boringly. This bored.

Best Lines:
“Your skank mom.”

“Mean even by my standards.”

“I saw that movie! 50 times!”

“The most appalling thing about you.”

“Talking bowling ball on a stick Grace.”

“The bitch apple didn’t fall far from the bitch tree.”

“Over my rich hot dead body!”

~
The Man From UNCLE 1x14-1x17

The Terbuf Affair
The duo is still in Rome having a vacation. Solo says things dryly. They are bothered by gypsies. An old love of Solo’s shows up to ask for help. The ex’s husband is credulous. There are traps, things go awry and there are fights and Solo gets smacked in the face. This was good.

Best Lines:
“I know it.”
“Remember it.”

“We’re in trouble. Bad trouble.”

“It’s a handicap isn’t it? Being so obviously American.”

“Give me your trousers!”

“And I was. Searched thoroughly.”

“We found only one lost sheep, which we shot for our supper.”

“They do not have names, only destinies.”

“They are shooting him.”

~
The Deadly Decoy Affair
They change the opening again. There is an attack on the UNCLE garage. UNCLE has a THRUSH prisoner. Illya and Solo have to transport him. An innocent is dragged in, again. A very annoying innocent. Illya and Solo are separated and Solo runs into some Amish. There is idiot comedy and Solo is in peril. Solo whips out a huge syringe from nowhere. There is a twist, Illya resurfaces and this was okay.

Best Lines:
“I can be very stupid.”

“Pose?”

~
The Fiddlesticks Affair
Solo and Illya are sent off to destroy a THRUSH vault containing 55 million dollars. Solo is senior officer by two years and says THRUSH in a very interesting way. They need to hire people to break into the vault. A casino waitress wears what looks like a ballet tutu. The innocent du jour and a duplicitous moron are hired to assist. There is a diversion and things go awry. People are in peril and wet. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Bang to you too.”

“It’s a noise level alarm.”

“We must think positively Illya.”

“The mines are marked with lights. Please stay away from them.”

“Well, he who straddles both sides of a slippery street winds up sitting in the middle.”
“But but, they’ll kill me.”
“Well, not if you run fast enough.”

~
The Yellow Scarf Affair
Solo goes in India. Illya isn’t in this. Waverly’s desk is a lazy susan. Solo is menaced by the Thugee cult, screamingly obvious baddies and a moronic THRUSH agent. Solo circumvents sense. A sought after case has nitro in it which never goes off. Solo gets horny. This wasn’t good.

Best Lines:
“This is indeed a curious sight to greet the eyes of a policeman.”

“I damaged him, somewhat.”
Tags: agents of shield, man from uncle, person of interest, scream queens
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