epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Insidious: Chapter 3 + The Inbetweeners 2

Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)
This load of waffly old cobblers is a prequel. An annoying teenager named Quinn visits Elise to contact her dead mother. Elise is a twitching mess. Quinn’s lardy faced father (Dermot Mulroney) and useless brother are useless. Quinn has weird neighbours and then is hit by a car. There are a few jump scares but this is not scary. The idiot father has emotional reliance on Quinn and fails to notice the purposeful malevolence of the demon stalking her.

The useless brother looks up the two morons online, Elise hangs around and this leads to ghastly sentimentality, no loneliness and grimness just over-written and over-rehearsed bad intentions. This has no organic menace or emotional pull and doesn’t really mesh with the events of the first 2 films. Quinn is stuck in a suffocating and stultifying place with an utterly malign baddie; oddly this isn’t profoundly disturbing. Quinn’s father has un-ending ghastliness and seems to have dissociative feelings for his injured child while focusing on his own pure male self-pity. Enough.

Best Lines:
“If you call out to one of the dead, all of them can hear you.”

“Quiet’s not good.”

“When you go there, things come back with you.”

“I’ll be waiting in the dark when the pain finally kills you.”

“Come on, bitch.”

The Inbetweeners 2 (2014)
The gang of stupid, sexist gits are either at college or living off the welfare state when they all end up in Australia. Cue unsparing gruesomeness as they are sexist, hurl vicious barbs and do ill and improper things. These people aren’t exactly crippled by modesty. This was made with no discernable ability and is unjustifiably terrible. Their old headmaster shows up to announce he will soon be Will’s stepfather. Oh the hilarity.

Best Line:
“Goodbye whore.”
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