Spectre (2015)
The opening credits to this film feature what looks like octopus rape which sets the tone for this unbelievably crap film. The emotionally inexpressive ‘hero’ is back in this terrible, poisonous mess. The plot can’t be arsed making sense, there is a lot of nastiness, a ridiculous villain, M mumbles through bad veneers and this is arduous to watch as it is so numbingly long.
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The Bling Ring (2013)
Emma Watson stars in this dull malodorous film about vapid losers who rob celebrities houses. This was inelegant and full of various degrees of nonsense.
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The Expendables 2 (2012)
This has bad cosmetic surgery on washed up 80s stars and Jean-Claude Van Damme as the baddie and nothing else.
Best Line:
“Respect must be taught.”
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Parental Guidance (2012)
A naff Bette Midler film. Tony Hawk has a cameo with no dignity.
Best Line:
“Use your words!”