epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Spectre + The Bling Ring + 2 others

Spectre (2015)
The opening credits to this film feature what looks like octopus rape which sets the tone for this unbelievably crap film. The emotionally inexpressive ‘hero’ is back in this terrible, poisonous mess. The plot can’t be arsed making sense, there is a lot of nastiness, a ridiculous villain, M mumbles through bad veneers and this is arduous to watch as it is so numbingly long.

The Bling Ring (2013)
Emma Watson stars in this dull malodorous film about vapid losers who rob celebrities houses. This was inelegant and full of various degrees of nonsense.

The Expendables 2 (2012)
This has bad cosmetic surgery on washed up 80s stars and Jean-Claude Van Damme as the baddie and nothing else.

Best Line:
“Respect must be taught.”

Parental Guidance (2012)
A naff Bette Midler film. Tony Hawk has a cameo with no dignity.

Best Line:
“Use your words!”
Tags: movie review

  • Book Review: Concerete Surfer Issue 2

    Jean is hired for a 'yoghourts' ad. Carol attention seeks. Jean does skateboarding tricks for £100. Carol and her family are smarmy…

  • Book Review: Concrete Surfer, part 1

    This is a story orginally published in 'Jinty' from January to June in 1978. Jean's family failed in Australia. Now Jean has to live…

  • Book Review: The Ice

    The Ice by John Kare Raake This North Pole mystery has murder, spires and PTSD. This translated thriller is clunkily translated and reads like a tv…

Comments for this post were disabled by the author