epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Movie Reviews: Hanger 18 + 4 others

Hanger 18 (1980)
On October 25th, a large metallic object crashed in the Arizona desert. The government is concealing a UFO and the bodies of alien astronauts. Why won’t they tell us?

Darren McGavin, Robert Vaughn and Pamela Bellwood star in this dated looking dull movie that displays all the infelicities of the genre. This has a horrible synth score, hints of ancient astronauts and a memorable ending. A shuttle that looks like a toy flies with three men on board and launches a satellite. No women seem to work at NASA. A UFO interrupts the launch, the satellite hits the UFO causing one astronaut to be decapitated and the UFO to crash. The slimy POTUS advisor (Vaughn) orders a cover up.

People seem to shrug off an astronaut dying in space. The days before Challenger and Colombia. The two surviving astronauts are blamed for wrecking the satellite and killing their co-worker. The UFO is hushed up so the POTUS can be re-elected. Nobody has any sense of wonder. The astronauts refuse to hide in a flame trench and go investigate what is going on.

Meanwhile scientists explore the UFO that looks like a dried turd with blinking lights stuck on it. This is very, very slow. They find film of Earth newscasts and a captive animal and a human on board. The alien abductee is rushed to hospital but wakes up screaming in the ambulance in a creepy moment. The director of this film went on to direct the ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’ episode ‘Little Green Men’.

The scientists translate the alien language and learn all modern knowledge and thought is down to the aliens more or less establishing a seed colony on Earth. Cue spoiled idealism. The two astronauts ignore their dead colleague to run around without being recognised. The interior of the UFO looks like a German sex dungeon and the two dead aliens inside look very human. This all leads to the memorable ending but getting there is a bit of a dull chore. This film is best viewed through nostalgia goggles.

Best Lines:
“Not unless a meteor can make a u-turn.”

“Call NORAD.”

“This is a scramble.”

“We have a flying saucer in our possession.”

“Some joke.”

“An alien spacecraft parked in a NASA facility.”

“This is stupid.”

“I don’t like it, it’s scary.”

“Question: how do we open it?”
“Another question: do we want to?”

“Yes. We, mankind, the human race, are their children!”

“There it is and there it goes.”

“Compute the area of impact.”

“Is she still alive?”
“Barely.”

“Ain’t got no car.”

~
Challenger (1990)
This is an okay TV movie about the Challenger disaster. Karen Allen, Barry Bostwick, Joe Morton, Angela Bassett and Peter Boyle star.

Annie (1982)
Terrible.

Pretty Woman (1990)
Inept.

Empire Of The Sun (1987)
No.
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