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7 TV Reviews

Jekyll and Hyde 1x02
This show has a common sense vacuum. Ravi is alive and imperilled. Jekyll is himself again but is still a moral undesirable either way and has a slight hysterical tendency. The boyband faced Jekyll is not epically tragic or lingeringly disturbing. Ravi is in an ‘Oz’ like lock up but even this situation has no fundamental seriousness. Nor is anything effectively terrifying. Tenebrae has an emblem for a millennia old secret society, they’re petulant. Martinet Richard E Grant wants Jekyll dead and uses him as bait. Tenebrae’s big bad has no skin, okay I will admit that was an effective moment.

Jekyll whines to Lily who cares about him and his emotional constipation. She has to be a honey trap. There are zombies in a box. A crab man and an upside down skull are kept locked up in MI0’s secret underground prison. No EU Human Rights BS here. There is a Hitler mention, nobody seems too concerned. This was loud, plodding and coarse. Actions are often dubious. An elephant assists in a prison break. This ep hasn’t anything profound to say, nor has it social nuance or historical prescience, just arbitrary viciousness. This is worse than ‘Demons’. You’re permanently unsure of anyone’s motives.

This was not lustrous or emotive. The jolly hockey sticks law office woman has an exasperating inability to act. The gamey imagings of TPTB are not an unremittingly bleak vision just startlingly unoriginal. Ravi finds a hatch in the jungle. People look up Garson, Henry Jekyll’s former footman who is now a barman in the Empire drinking hall aka a tough pub. The Empire used to be a music hall, I’m sure that is important.

Jekyll gets horny like a polecat and turns into Hyde. Jekyll is in complete sexual despair cos Hyde pops out when he gets horny. There is still no emotional momentum. The BBC’s ‘Jekyll’ was far better than this misinformed, toxic and unproductive mess. One eyed Silas’ eye patch seems to switch eyes. Garson knows the assassin Silas. Hyde drags Silas around the surprisingly clean slum streets. Jekyll finds his grandfather’s lab which is like the batcave. Where is the National Trust during all this? There is a flashback to young Henry Jekyll and young Garson which showcases Henry Jekyll’s first rubbish transformation.

Best Lines:
“We’re the nightmare police.”

“I hate the lot of you.”

“You believe he’s a monster.”
“Not yet.”

“Don’t look too long.”

“Gloomy Victorian gothic.”

“Slightly hysterical stuff.”

“Stiff upright Dr Jekyll.”

“There’s nothing there.”
“Precisely!”

“Not where I would normally choose to drink.”

“Clean glass if you have one.”

“Don’t know you, don’t know nothing.”

“You’re about as welcome as a fart.”

“A shoddy pub like this.”

“What have you been doing?”

“Not that downstairs, you idiot.”

“Dr Jekyll was insane.”

~
Agents of SHIELD 3x03

A Wanted (Inhu)man
Lincoln runs in non-finely calibrated intensity. Bravo SHIELD, you life-ruiners. Simmons has nice skin and her waxing held up real well. Why isn’t she in quarantine? SHIELD has majoritarian arrogance. Mack annoys and is a hideously uncool hostile burk. He, Coulson and Daisy indulge in grubby insinuations. Hunter and May hang out with Hydra at a fight club and aren’t recognised. There is lots of doubt on character here. I feel only cold disinterest.

Where are the secret warriors? Coulson is inept and deserves to be reviled. Mockingbird is incurious and abundantly awful. Nobody cares about Simmons’ unimaginable and unfathomable experience. Fitz is discontented and astonishingly unpleasant. This wannabe darker, meaner season bores. Coulson wilfully sabotages sense. Who is funding SHIELD? Who pays their salaries and their bills? Coulson is a rather wretched man. Daisy suddenly cares about Simmons.

This show has no moral heart just a preoccupation with boastfulness. Lincoln has a friend (Daniel Roebuck) who turns on him in a non-unendurably heartbreaking scene. This show has no heartfeltness. Mockingbird works out with her obvious fake knee brace and pee coloured hair. Coulson is not an informed and assertive decision maker. This ep has precious little worth getting excited about. Everyone loves Daisy. Mack tries to hand Lincoln over to the ATCU and Daisy shrugs it off. To hell with all these people.

Best Lines:
“They have massive trust issues.”

“You need to win.”

“I’ve rarely lost a fight. When I’m sober.”

“That type will talk.”

“I thought we were mates.”
“You thought wrong.”

~
The Leftovers 1x06-1x08

Guest
Orange Kevin and his generic schoolboy hair is deliberately nondescript. Nora cleans, broods and acts crazy. This has no intense despair and is not dynamically watchable. Nora’s bosses are looking for a pattern. Nora goes to NY for a conference. This was boring and this show is not gaining traction.

Best Lines:
“The incidence of prophetic delusion rise dramatically.”

“Those conversations with god go wrong.”

~
Solace For Tired Feet
Diffident Jill’s friends play with a fridge which has a creepy genesis. Kevin’s father escapes from the bug hutch. Nora turns a hose on two GR members. How did the GR get away with breaking into people’s houses at Christmas? People like misery. Kevin’s father was in the bug hutch for burning down the library. This was another hugely disappointing ep. I don’t care about the showcase of multiple perspectives. This was irrelevant and unthinkably bad. Jill is petulant. The grandfather is pragmatic and acerbic. This was not scintillating just shambling and joyless. Kevin’s father punches him in the face to maintain his humanity, self-governance, autonomy and meaningful interaction. Kevin does not recognise his father’s characterisation of events so his father is back to the muppet ward.

Best Lines:
“I’d better stop talking and start chain smoking.”

“Did anybody get hurt?”
“Not yet.”

~
Cairo
People are disorientated, frightened, fractured and full of scorn, fury and symmetrical hostility which is probably why nobody pronounces Cairo properly. A CGI dog growls, Meg commits an act of unfaith, Patti is trapped in a shed and the GR plot. This had no cohesion but was just fake and disingenuous.

~
Person Of Interest 4x04

Brotherhood
Season 4 is not meritorious so far. Reese hangs out at a school. Everyone seems to have a smartphone. Eli the rubbish gangster pops up to annoy Finch. Two kids steal drug money and go shopping. There is wooden acting and a sudden inevitable betrayal. This had no sense of fitness and was dull. Shaw is fooled by new big bad Dominic.

Best Lines:
“5-0.”

“Your dog ate their homework.”

“This trigger is faster than your fist.”

“You know what that means?”
“We got TV.”

“You got minecraft on that phone?”

~
Scream Queens 1x02

Hell Week
This isn’t quite living up to the hype. Nobody really cares that Chanel no 2 is dead. The pledges still want to join KKT. Hester is weird. A security guard is inept. Grace finds a secret room and learns what took place in 1995. Grace’s father (Oliver Hudson) takes a job on campus. Dean Munsch looms. Who is the killer? The Red Devil costume is actually the school mascot costume. Grace suspects her boytoy. There is comedy and Boone (Nick Jonas who cannot act at all) plots. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Why you got a knife in your throat?”

“Filthy hand water.”

“Somebody just mowed off a deaf girl’s head in our backyard!”

“Is this scotch? It’s 10am.”

“I’m about to smack you so hard, your tampon will pop out.”
Tags: agents of shield, jekyll, person of interest, review, scream queens
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