epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Space Precinct Legacy + The Lazarus Effect

Space Precinct Legacy (2013)
A sour toned documentary about the show that was supposed to be the big show of the 90s but wasn’t. Brogan an ex-NYPD cop moves to a new precinct, in space. The makers thought it would be hugely successful quality TV, it wasn’t. The tone from the contributors is utterly negative. Only one cast member (the woman who played Took) is interviewed. The makers rip into the crap crew, the crap production design, the crap lazy scripts, the bad lighting, the cheap sets, the bad models and Gerry Anderson himself. No footage from the show is shown but we get a lot of production sketches and very nice behind the scenes photos.

The production was troubled to say the least due to bad scheduling, lazy crew members, money issues, backer issues and so a concept rich with potential was drowned in cheese and went downhill. The books, toys and comic aren’t mentioned. Ted Shackleford who played Brogan is praised, the actress who played Jane Castle is praised but nothing positive or negative is said about Rob Youngblood who played Haldane. The soundtrack is praised but the contributors rip into the bad continuity, curse the show and tear it apart. This is a brutally honest damning dissection of how not to make TV; I’m amazed nobody was sued over this.

Best Lines:
“Nothing visually interesting.”

“Fallen out rather dramatically.”

“That’s a true story.”

“Desperately formulaic.”

“Had over a bit on the scripts.”

“Too much science in it.”

“Ferret on a stick.”

“It was a total disaster.”

“They look like toys.”

~
The Lazarus Effect (2013)
This film seems to have sat on the shelf for two years. Eva (Sarah Bolger of ‘The Tudors’) is hired to film scientists Frank, Niko (Donald Glover of ‘The Martian’), Clay and Zoë who are working on a medical breakthrough that causes resurrection. They babble about their Lazarus serum and wield a device that looks like an egg whisk. The trailer gave the whole plot away. They revive a dog that was put to sleep. This is like ‘Pet Sematary’ and has sinister ramifications.

Frank disrespects Zoë, the dog does intrusive notes of threat, there are debates about DMT and Wallace (Ray Wise) has 30 second cameo playing the boss of big Pharma company Crylonis that suddenly shuts them down. They decide to do another secret experiment with the serum that looks like milk. This stupid act causes Zoë to die. Frank who looks like a fat Jason Bateman does something even more stupid. Zoë comes back wrong cue ensuing dramatics.

They don’t take Zoë to a hospital or leave. Zoë claims to have been in hell. Is dead sometimes better? Zoë turns into a warped, disinhibited villainess with negative consequences for her friends. This leads to an overly pretentious finale and an ending that makes no damn sense. This was okay but the ending is a study in ineptness.

Best Lines:
“I’m the Lord of Catan.”

“Something’s degrading the lipid bi-layer.”

“Are you sure you wanna keep this thing in your house?”

“This thing could go Cujo here in a hurry.”

“Do you think I care?”

“There is something very wrong with her.”

“That’s what hell is.”
Tags: movie review, the tudors
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