epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Night of the Demons 2 + White House Down + 2 others

Night Of The Demons 2 (1994)
Angela’s throwing another party. Trick or treat. Sucker. It’s 6 years later and Angela (Amelia Kinkade looking somewhat different) still lurks at Hull House killing people. Angela’s sister Mouse is locked up in a Catholic school for wayward 30somethings pretending to be teenagers. Sister Gloria locks and loads. Father Bob bores and is abrasive, dismissive and irritable. Angela and Mouse’s parents came to bad ends. This is so slow paced and looks bland. This is a terrible forgettable movie. I won’t bother with the 3rd film. Smug unrepentant jerks get possessed and this does a disservice to the first one.

Best Lines:
“Now she’s satan’s favourite.”

“Maybe we should discuss this.”

“Stop this hellishness now!”

“I’ve got your balls!”

“A really bad joke.”

White House Down (2013)
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Jake Weber, Matt Craven and Maggie Gyllenhaal star in this so bad its horrible action movie. This has bad CGI, James Woods as the obvious villain and a POTUS (Foxx) who is an obvious Obama expy. This was infuriatingly moralistic and self-aggrandising. John (Tatum) babbles to squirrels to show he is emotionally vulnerable. Mr Speaker sniffs. John has a trashy ex and an annoying daughter. John fails to get into the secret service.

John takes his vile spawn on a White House tour. There is an ‘Independence Day’ joke. James Woods betrays the Secret Service cos he is the bad guy. There is exposition.  There is very little to care about in this film. Stuff blows up. Carol (Gyllenhaal) is useless. This is stern faced and humourless though it tries desperately to be funny.

This makes political points loudly. There is a car chase on the White House lawn, Air Force One blows up, there is sap and the horrible fecking kid waves a flag. This film is bowling shoe ugly.

Best Lines:
“He wants to do the thing.”

“Apparently we’re all Arabs.”

“That’s a talent?

“I hate you all.”

“Get this trash off my lawn!”

“Can I ask you a question for my Youtube channel?”

“You make them pay.”

“The man still used a pager.”

“But there will be.”

“We have friendlies all over the kill zone.”

“The Insurrection Act.”

“They’re big knives.”

“When they come for us. You’re going to die first.”

“That’s President Sawyer! He has a rocket launcher!”

The Oblong Box (1969)

The Unnameable (1988)
Lame Lovecraft inspired pap.
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