epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Space Precinct (1994-1995) 1x20&1x21 + The Flash 2x03 +Earth2 (1994-1995) 1x11 + Arrow 4x03 Reviewed

The Fire Within 1&2
In this bizarre non epoch defining cops in space drama, the pyrist cult does weird stuff. Captain Podley who looks like a Hammerhead shark on land and has a stage Irish accent produces his daughter Samina and sends her undercover in the cult. She has pigtails and a worse stage Irish accent. Brogan’s partner Haldane (Rob Youngblood who was hot) also goes undercover. Cult member Sister Nevik Brock is obviously a female Jim Jones. Brock’s amorality is ignored.

The police robot annoys. There is bad acting. Brogan’s stupid family annoy. The sets are obvious. Castle annoys. Haldane wears an ugly shirt and is a sleaze. Brock fancies him. We’re made to believe a brainwashed Haldane killed Podly’s daughter. But the terrible script makes it obvious it is a fake out. The extras gurn. Podly does large ham its personal acting. There is more death, yelling and Took is a pyrist for these two eps.

Some of the cultists are crazed thug thieves. Haldane is under suspicion but it is obvious he’s a faker. The cops are rabid. Brogan pulls faces. The pyrists prepare for the Day of Immolation aka the end of the world. The cops are bad at their jobs. Brogan has no concept of gun safety. The pyrist temple is a spaceship and Brock flies it off to escape. I felt a cessation of interest. This isn’t camp, it’s just terrible. Brogan has no faith in Haldane and then he does. This was a borefest with the wrong tone. It is just fugging and TPTB have a blithe ignorance of quality.

Best Lines:
“Flame without end. Let it be so.”

“There is a traitor in our midst!”

“He is false to the fire.”

“It’s not exactly a cult.”

“A police officer 26 hours a day.”

“My heart is unconvinced.”

“I will never be loved enough to lead.”

“Fire freaks.”

“There is justice in the fire.”

“One of our officers appears to have gone off the deep end.”

“I ain’t sure. It was dark.”

“People around here keep dying or disappearing.”

“Open it.”
“But it’s sacred.”

“Our cave of winds.”

Family Of Rogues
Why don’t the morons do anything about the STAR labs breach? Why doesn’t Jay object to his world being called Earth2? Why is Barry so damn thick? Why won’t Joe stop lying? Iris annoys. Golden Glider (Peyton List) shows up. Cisco is moronic. Sneering Captain Cold and his awful father Lewis (Michael Ironside) do stuff and bother Barry. Cisco babbles about therma-threading. Lewis is a bad bad man. The STAR labs gang and their common assumptions annoy. To be brutally honest, this show needs more Wells. Joe is an awful person. Patty has changed her hairdo. Lewis makes a dude’s head explode like Ironside did in ‘Scanners’. Joe dismisses his ex as a junkie, Joe hates joy. Captain Cold freezes lasers and kills his father in a fit of opprobrium. This was not authentic and was just ‘Legends of Tomorrow’ set up. There was no genuine emotion. Golden Glider drives off on her golden motorbike. Stein falls over and Earth2 Wells shows up.

Best Lines:
“Make me proud.”
“Like I care.”

“Then what?”

“Please don’t call him that.”

“Suppression door.”

“Wellness hiatus.”

Moon Cross
Alonzo babbles about dreams. It is Day 61. It’s winter. Uly babbles about Mary’s garden. Uly leads them to a dome. Who built the hothouse dome? Traitor Julia has been welcomed back. Devon decides to camp at the dome for winter. Devon says they don’t owe the Terrians any more favours. Oh piss off bitch. Alonzo meets Mary, a human girl raised by Terrians. A Terrian ritual is to take place. Outcast Terrians lurk. Yale gets close to his pre-wash past. Mary speaks very very slowly. Alonzo gets a Terrian staff. Mary makes trilling noises which is the Terrian language. Alonzo and Devon patronise Mary. Why wasn’t Julia affected by shooting herself up with Uly’s DNA? The moon cross ritual takes place. There is more about the fascist regime on the space stations which is undercut by the terrible child actor playing Uly. The dim Uly speaks Terrian. This was dull, sexist and dated.

Best Lines:
“Two full moons crossing.”

“As usual. I was wrong.”

“Don’t talk. Dream.”

“Something terrible must have happened here.”

“Time for the outcasts to be forgiven.”

“Moon cross is over.”

Diggle’s helmet is ridiculous. Nyssa fights Malcolm who is smug and acts like Tommy never existed. Laurel demands Sara’s resurrection. Felicity is stupid and annoying. Oliver is annoyed Diggle won’t accept his apology. But then Diggle has to go grovelling to Oliver in overacted fashion cos that is how TPTB roll. In the flashbacks Oliver bullies slave labour made to harvest heroin/cocaine plants. Double Down hurls playing cards. Damien does magic. This was flatly shot, full of wooden acting and was laughably cheesy and meandering. I am tired of this slow, cliché, boring show that lacks a single, original or creative idea. This has zero suspense. Felicity and Oliver’s love bubble bores. They are insulting and boring. Double Down is pure boredom. This was a better best forgotten ineffective ep. Oliver is inept, flat and emotionless. Felicity will not shut her mouth. Damien babbles about Genesis and kills a woman. White Canary pops out of the pit so Nyssa destroys the Lazarus Pit.

Best Lines:
“You can read.”

“He paid a dark price for it.”

“What do you have in mind? Harsh language?”

“What are you?”

“How I process disappointment.”

“Special kind of stupid.”

“My father was not a trusting man.”
Tags: arrow, flash, legends of tomorrow, review

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