epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

  • Music:

Trailers, Quotes and a 1995 Tape Tale

‘Doctor Who’ 9x04 promo

‘Reign’ season 3 promo
Elizabeth v Mary. The doomed Mary is all false sincerity.

Best Lines:
“I can’t take on 2 queens.”

“Scotland’s queen will fall.”

‘Babylon 5: In The Beginning’ promo
A nice TV movie but the Minbari never paid for what they did.

Best Lines:
“Simple retribution.”

“The human race ends with the current generation.”

‘Ex On The Beach’ promo

Best Line:
“Are worst enemies.”

‘The Bone Collector’ (1999) promo

‘Arrow’ season 4 promo
Feck off Felicity. I have general scepticism. Oliver is very loud after the bloated and preposterous season 3.

‘Crimson Peak’ TV spot

‘Master Of The Game’ (1984) miniseries promo
Terrible ad, terrible miniseries.

‘Heaven & Earth’ (1993) promo

The Affair’ season 2 promo

‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ promo

‘Driven’ (2001) promo

‘Superfast’ promo
A dumb comedy spoofing a dumb franchise.

Best Lines:
What are you driving?”
“A car!”


‘Space Precinct’ opening credits
Cops in space! Rob Youngblood was hot. These opening credits are rubbish.

Gluten free Tex Mex Burrito Bean chips - okay.
Hot green beef curry - okay.

Gluten free bread could contain fracking glue and treated wood pulp? Gross.

I read ‘Hollyoaks’ spoilers - meeehhh.

There could be a ‘Watchmen’ TV show?

‘Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil’ was poo.

I won’t review ‘Once Upon A Time’ 4x16 ‘Poor Unfortunate Soul’ or 4x17 ‘Best Laid Plans’.

‘American Gothic’ Quotes:
“His personality hasn’t improved any.”

“That was a cheap shot about Hitler.”

“Lucas is corrupt, he’s manipulative, he’s probably psychopathic.”

“Never underestimate the power of the unholy to deceive.”

“He is a channel for demonic evil.”

“There aren’t demons roaming the Carolinas.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

“There’s no such thing as they in Trinity.”

“Go to hell.”
“Been there.”

‘Running With Bear Grylls’ Quote:
“That’s a false horizon.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Lack of love and responsiveness.”

“Emotional neglect.”

“Hostile, critical and intrusive.”

“An inexhaustible supply of hatred.”

“Relentless, humiliating, terrorising, degrading, twisted, petty.”

“I couldn’t ever protest or express an emotion.”

“I was forced to finish every disgusting meal.”

“Once I was sick into the porridge, but, so scared of her, I ate it.”

“I wasn’t allowed to get out of bed by myself until I was 14.”

“Every interaction was rough, angry, verging on violent.”

“Wielded absolute control and power.”

“Her insatiable fury was mentally exhausting.”

“It’s healing cream.”

“Simmering, scowling disapproval.”

“Persists in the fantasy.”

“Reimaging the past.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“We have a large stainless steel bowl filled with crushed ice and faces, limbs, tentacles and claws in front of us.”

“Lose your contraceptives.”

“Justly celebrated.”

“Chain of solidarity.”

“Inherently defective.”

“Put too much faith in the camouflage ability of knitted ski masks.”

“Long stagey speech.”

“Rarely seen without an anorak.”

“Pettily harassing.”

“Never one to knowingly underplay the melodrama.”

“Some ambivalent aspects.”

“Who would have the malice?”

“Not exactly bitter, but wary of life.”

“Was I really like that?”

“Broken! Devastated! Sobbing!”

“Insurmountable separation.”

“Loud and self-indulgent pleasure.”

“Nonsense stuff like that”

“The apogee of everything.”

“Far less alarmist character.”

“Cultural fault-line.”

“Disastrously unproductive.”

“Outright, unequivocal prohibition.”

“No evidential value.”

“Hubris, arrogance and delusions of aggrieved self-pitying.”

“Crass and self-serving.”

“Relentless attacks.”

“Irrational obsession.”

“A negative view.”

“Haul off.”

“There was constant drama.”

“Rescued Teddy Fossett from an aggressive chimpanzee by hitting the animal over the head with a hammer.”

“Precarious situation.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Why did you allow it?”

“I shamed the family.”

“Coming at you and yelling.”

“Puke out in the back yard.”

“People should be nice to people who have knives. Take it out.”

“I never carved die bitch.”

“You came to fear him?”

“Trailer park pig.”

“I hate that for you.”

“Opinion and truth are two different things.”


“Bring them to respect.”

“Start to isolate.”

16 & Pregnant’ Quote:
Go mudding.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
Blow dried dogs.”

“You need his trust early.”

“Crowd hair supervisor.”


“Remote significance.”

“Without a single complex emotion.”

“The master of the cold, the bleak, the unknown.”

“Comes across as having significant, undiagnosed mental insatiability.”

“Arrant hyperbole.”

“The heroine needs a personality disorder.”

“An unsavoury sideline.”

“Entraining vituperation.”

“Reinforced fornicating chair.”

“Lying like a back-alley slut.”

“Alcohol, inertia and pub violence.”

“Pathological rage.”

“Doing good better.”

“Considered constructions.”

“A slag heap of cocaine.”

“A carpet of underwear.”

“Contrived hedonism.”

“Radical inclusion.”


“The rich and moronic.”

“Steely avarice.”

“Revelling in their own hedonistic triumph.”

“Furious invectives.”

“Aptly soothing.”

“A paper-thin counterculture that has been consistently and badly appropriated ever since.”

“Radical self-reliance.”

“Stocky men being mean.”

“Failing to heed advice.”

Aggressive scowl.”

“Male freight.”

“They even feel frightened by taps.”

“Feelings are totally over-rated.”

Cackling fury.”

“Makes you feel like a medieval crone who lives in a wood.”

“Someone who doesn’t want you enough.”

“Plays against lovable.”

“Aggressively infantile.”

“Youthful foolishness.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Susan is sanctimonious, Piper is the smoke of satan and Terese cries about her awful husband.

Cleared out a 1995 tape. It began with an ‘American Gothic’ ep ‘Pilot’ in which there are deep fried accents, Lucas is the devil, Matt is detestably annoying and Lucas never does any law enforcing. Gail does nothing of interest, Selena sluts it up, Ben wears a vest and it is never explained why Selena and Lucas don’t have a baby. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“I thought the southern sheriff was a cliché.”

“Someone’s at the door.”

“Rack your balls?”

Then came another ‘American Gothic’ ep ‘Strangler’. Gary Cole overacts, Merlyn dispenses otherworldly platitudes and there is a heap of misogyny. This was crap and Caleb needs a kicking. The opening credits to this show were good. If Lucas was the devil - why did he have such small ambitions?

Then came an ‘Alien Nation’ ep ‘The Game’ in which the image looks cluttered and orange. There is 80s hair, good opening credits and a George has bad dreams. There is over acting, shrieking, melodrama and Andreas Katsulas guest stars. In the credits there is a shot of a cinema playing ‘Rambo 6’ - not so improbable.

Best Lines:
“Flying bags of germs!”

“Use of firearms without provocation.”

Finally there was a season 1 ‘Babylon 5’ ep ‘Babylon Squared’ which looks low budget and is full of bad acting. It is never explained what the dawn of the third age of mankind was. Michael O’Hare did the best narration of the opening credits. There is bad makeup, Delenn is boring, there are visions, time travel, clunky dialogue and a twist that makes no sense.

Best Lines:
“Babylon 4!”

“Needing, we take.”
Tags: arrow, babylon 5, doctor who, once upon a time, reign, tape tales, thoughts, trailers
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