epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Five Go Mad In Dorset + Reign 2x06&2x07 + Agent Carter 1x06 Reviewed

The Comic Strip Presents: Five Go Mad In Dorset (1982)
This hilarious edition of the comic anthology show is a cruel parody of Enid Blyton showing up the classism and racism. This was followed up by ‘Five Go Mad On Mescalin’ in 1983 and ‘Five Go To Rehab’ in 2012.

Best Line:
You’re so licky!”

Three Queens
Francis and Mary should be 15! Where are Henri’s former mistresses Diane and Penelope? Lola’s family belatedly disown her for being a slut. Kenna urges gold digging. Catherine and Mary travel and are in peril. Catherine points out, again, that Mary has no sense and terrible judgement. Mary wails about her failing marriage, oh Mary - you have two worse husbands to come. A discrete quanta of peasants revolt. There is comedy, bonding and ignored advice. A fake King and Queen con peasants and they have an unexpected sponsor. Lola fires a bow, Bash does nothing and Narcisse and Conde do stuff. This was good. The fake Queen wails, Francis is a stupid liar, there is death and Mary’s dumb antics come back to haunt her.

Best Lines:
“Burn it all!”

“Makes the disgrace even worse.”

“I’ll never be admitted to the house again.”

“We’re women; we’re not allowed to have things of our own.”

“One of my special villages.”

“Flat on our royal fundaments.”

“We must have their love. I thank heavens I can buy it.”

“They all depend on the good will of the commoner. For very good reason: there’s 20 million of them.”

“Kill the royals!”

“Purses are for servants!”

“What will our marriage become?”

“A terrible, terrible hatmaker.”

“No pond of asses’ milk.”

“Court is what I need sanctuary from.”

“Disinterested generosity.”

“I don’t carry poison everywhere. I might accidentally kill myself.”

“I know that desperation.”

“Never give up a crown to anybody.”

The Prince Of The Blood
Where is Catherine’s daughter Margot? Her other daughter Claude shows up in a creased dress looking like Gloria Von Thurn Und Taxis circa the 80s. Francis sulks. Narcisse lingers and wants weak Francis to issue an edict against Protestants. Francis and Mary act religiously tolerant, which they weren’t. Claude wants to shag Bash - ignoring the fact he is her half brother. Greer is over dressed like a wallpaper shop threw up on her. Bash learns the truth about his father’s death. He and Francis look scruffy. Francis asks Lola for help. Lola utilises no brain cells. Claude tantrums. Lola bathes and Narcisse acts like he is in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’. Conde is a member of the Bourbon branch of the French royal family. Lola learns a secret. Conde fakes being a protestant. Francis acts in a manner that is not entirely fair. Mary is a dim bulb. Kenna whines. Narcisse gloats. Catherine hallucinates. Francis folds, Mary tantrums and ultimatums are issued. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Close your mouth. Bow.”

“Bowing to corrupt nobles and releasing murderers.”

“This isn’t a request.”

“People will kill each other in the street.”

“Did you marry a protestant?”

“Father threatened to kill both of them if they didn’t marry.”

“There’s no going back now.”

“She will not be your friend.”

“I am familiar with this threat.”

“What have you done?!?”

“I am finished waiting for him.”

A Sin To Err
Evil Russians plot, the SSR are stupid and Peggy blathers about the unnamed Black Widow programme. Jarvis smugs. Peggy looks into Howard’s conquests - I’m amazed he doesn’t have syphilis. Dottie does psycho staring. Souza is onto Peggy. The boss and Peggy have disheartening experiences. Dottie does not plan deconfliction. Leviathan has fooled the SSR. Thompson is an audacious jackass. Peggy wears trousers in 1946 - was that presumable? The SSR chase Peggy there is a fight in which she beats up numerous World War II veterans. This ep was a rancid armpit. Peggy lies and smugs and falls victim to her own knock out lipstick. Peggy’s busted and still won’t stop being smug. Souza clenches his jaw.

Best Lines:
“Been stabbed yet?”

“Knock if there’s danger.”

“Please go away.”

“That is immensely disturbing.”

“If you run, I’ll know it’s true.”

“Move that crutch faster.”

“Stuff secretary school.”

“Scary men.”
Tags: agent carter, reign, review

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