The President’s Plane Is Missing (1973)
A decent TV movie in which there are tensions with Red China which isn’t helped when Air Force One crashes in Arizona leaving the dim-witted vice president Kermit Madigan (Buddy Ebsen) in charge and at the mercy of a smarmy official named Oldenburg (Rip Torn). Reporters Joanna (Louise Sorel of ‘Days Of Our Lives’) and Mark (Peter Graves of ‘Mission Impossible’) look into a possible conspiracy as sabres are rattled. The VP is treated as a joke, his wife is a shrew and Rip Torn sucks on an unlit pipe. Ugly 70s attire is worn. Clunky tech is on display and there is apparently a parachute on Air Force One. It takes two idiots to find the wreckage of Air Force One and then dental records prove the POTUS wasn’t in the crash. A General growls. The acting is bizarre, a sexy stewardess opens a door and then comes the big twist which really makes no sense. This was okay but what is a wire service? And where were the press and escort fighter jets?
“Kermit Madigan is the President of the United States. KERMIT MADIGAN!?!”
“I let you mind the store and you try to burn it down.”
“I don’t care if he went crazy or was abducted or defected or ran off with somebody’s wife.”
“Somebody has to take command.”
“NOBODY ASKED YOU GENERAL!”
“None of them is the president.”
“Air Force One may have been sabotaged.”
“We can’t find the president’s body.”
“Tell me about China.”
“You’ll be severely criticised in the press.”
“They had the will.”
“He tells them elephant jokes.”
“He didn’t jump.”
“I WILL NOT CO-OPERTATE!”
“He can’t think that big.”
“Dear god, you wonder what he was thinking on the way down.”
“The over-ripe lemon from Orange County.”
“Embassy row is hysterical.”
“The teeth were wrong.”
“Your views are well known.”
“A last resort measure.”
“He was actually threatening me!”
Fatal Instinct (1993)
Erotic thriller parody starring Armand Assante and Sherilyn Fenn. Okay.
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
A creepy carnival comes to town. Okay.
Demon Night (1995)
Crap Billy Zane movie.
No, just no.