epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

The Last Ship 2x11 + Zoo 1x05 + The Americans 3x12 Reviewed

Valkyrie
This cynically manipulative and formulaic show drags on. I’m just about done. Why can’t Americans pronounce the word buoys properly? Sean has done a narrative reversal. Chandler and his XO are tediously self-righteous. Sean does everyone a ghastly disservice and strikes an inharmonious chord. Scott simmers intelligently. How are phones being charged with no power? The XO is hectoringly salacious. Chandler and others get blown up on an oil rig. Where did the POTUS get the nice suit? The whole world has become a charnel house, people tend to forget that. Valkyrie is encountered and it’s Alex from ‘Lost’ with fire engine red dip dyed hair. She thinks the plague was deliberate and maybe it was. The captured immune is a dick. There are injuries and death and Chandler does a dramatic collapse. The plot runs the gamut from the blindingly obvious to the glaringly obvious.

Best Lines:
“New Orleans is burning.”

“We are coming for you.”

“Bluenose was secret even to us.”

“They invite conspiracy theorists.”

“Return to mother.”

“The Egyptian flu.”

“Jump to Phase 6 overnight.”

“Alternative history.”

“They shot me in the ass!”

“Remove this souvenir I found behind your liver.”

~
Blame It On Leo
The gang do tastefully dull breaking and entering to investigate man made bacteria. Jackson acts with ambivalence. Jamie is totally comically oblivious to sense. The FBI agent stomps around without sentiment or scruple. This show has tonal uncertainty. Bats swarm in Rio. A sick girl has a helper dog. The effete FBI agent acts in a wildly irrelevant and tonally confusing way. This ep obviates sense. The plot stupidity causes visceral cognitive dissonance. The gang meet the nutter Leo who acts inexplicably. Mitch acts adversely. There is muttering about a vector and a mother cell. There are deliciously broad plot turns. Chloe is menaced by a bat because she has no peripheral vision. The sick girl’s father is revealed to the obvious candidate. She’s on pills from the evil corporation - oh nos! Death Row guy shows up and people act like reprobates with no proportionality.

Best Lines:
“Bats can’t fly this high.”

“Keep your minds off all things bat.”

“Bat fact number 2.”

“Said my name louder than necessary.”

“Prisoner eating wolves.”

“Not here at least.”

“It’s less sanitary here.”

“It’s okay; they’re shooting at the bats.”

“That’s suitably eerie.”

“That is not a dead bat.”

“Galloping crud.”

“Doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“It’s everywhere.”

“I once threw all my ex-wives clothes on the front lawn.”

“The government will drop poison form the sky.”

~
I Am Abassin Zadray
Stan is onto the credulous Martha. Paige rebels and is all snark and petulance. Everyone is gloriously self serving. Philip is loathsome and self important, he is gloriously awful. Stan is an agent of social control. The FBI are all self adoring half wits. How do Elizabeth and Philip manage to turn even the most ordered minds? Is it the power of their wigs? Martha’s romantic justification only goes so far. There is unfairness all around and Henry is ignored. The inevitable consequence of the reveal is that Paige proves unmanageable. This was abysmally dull. There is organisational malfeasance and an angry Afghan. Claudia resurfaces and there is death, the song Vienna plays and in an unexpected move Philip rips off his wig in front of a shocked Martha. How did she never notice the dozen hairpins that keep the thing on?!?

Best Lines:
“The best, most dangerous officers the KGB has.”

“Afghanistan has nothing.”

“Hot tea!”

“Left in shame.”
Tags: review, the americans, the last ship
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