epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Covert Affairs 4x05-4x11+ Reign 2x01&2x02+ OnceUponATime 4x06&4x07 + Agent Carter 1x03&1x04 Reviewed

Here Comes Your Man
There are more clips of the future Annie/Calder confrontation. Joan sneers. Calder and his brash persona annoys. Auggie is slapped down. There are still no opening credits. Annie goes to the Vienna opera and meets an arms dealer (Simon Kassianides). This was unacceptable. Auggie thinks he is a seamless truth finding machine. He isn’t. Annie is a twit. Teo shows up and things go awry. Annie and Auggie exude smug. Henry is followed.

Best Lines:
“Comfort is not our goal.”

“He sang like a goat.”

“Extremely dead.”

Space (I Believe In)
Seth’s body has been found. Annie is the CIA liaison. Annie runs into an old foe. Calder annoys. Annie has forgotten Ben and Simon. Annie lies, Henry plots and the CIA are smug. There is nice stunt work. Annie will not stop lying. Annie and Auggie are jerks. Did they ever mourn Jai? Henry plots. Annie does shameful catastrophic things. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Ladybug red.”

“You have friends in low places Miss Walker.”

“Am I supposed to thank you?”

“There will not be another offer.”

Crackity Jones
Auggie’s wife (Michelle Ryan) isn’t dead. There are flashbacks to 2006 with Auggie and Helen. Auggie punches Arthur. Auggie sulks. Annie and Helen are sent on a mission. Annie and Auggie bore. Helen and Auggie bore. Auggie is really annoying. Michelle Ryan shows off her accents. Annie and Auggie break-up. Annie’s dramatic storming out is undercut by the fact she seems to have difficulty closing the door.

Best Lines:
“So she wasn’t really shot.”

“Nobody chooses to stay at Interpol.”

“I find them deeply concerning.”

“Made an emotional decision.”

I’ve Been Waiting For You
The Annie/Auggie crap drags on. Why was Henry in a jungle? Teo is in Scotland. Calder stirs the pot. Teo and Arthur have issues. Joan and her pee coloured hair and obvious roots bores. Henry learns something and Annie and Auggie’s crap catches up with them. This was bad.

Best Lines:
“The entire CCTV network in Europe.”

“A burn bag.”

“There’s malfeasance here.”

“I’m clarifying your role.”

“Carefully and quietly.”

“We made the wrong choice.”

“Suffer no consequences.”

Hang Wire
Henry, Annie and Teo are in Denmark. Auggie has an adversarial stance towards Calder and creates threats where none exist. Arthur, Joan and Annie self-generate problems. Stupidity is in plentiful supply. Arthur accosts a lawyer (Zuleikha Robinson of ‘The Lone Gunmen’ and ‘Lost’). Auggie refuses to have conscious perception of his faulty perception. Henry is companionate and then he isn’t. Joan is moronic. Auggie is a fool. There is death and Henry achieves his revenge because the ‘good guys’ were morons.

Best Lines:
“I don’t know what assumption you’re operating under.”

“You don’t trust me.”
“Not even a little.”

“Vengeance is mine.”

Levitate Me
Arthur is in deep deep trouble. Joan no longer matters and collapses. Henry gloats. There is more death and Henry regains cultural acceptance. This was okay. Annie and Calder finally have their confrontation and there is a twist which is spoiled by Oded Fehr’s name appearing in the cast list.

Best Lines:
“A one and done basis.”

“I don’t hear any typing.”

“Leave now Henry before I hurt you.”

“Target not receptive to approach.”

“Check that tone Anderson.”

“You might not be able to come back. Ever.”

“It had to be done.”

Annie’s faked her death and assumed a new identity as brunette biker chick Jessica. She’s after Jai’s mother. Joan is demoted. Calder loves his three piece suits. Auggie is wooden and unemotional and utters not a word of apology for being totally wrong about Calder. How does Auggie still have a job? Annie manipulates Jai’s mother. Wasn’t Jai’s mother a spy and that is how she met Henry? There is wooden acting and this was painfully dull. Annie batters a guy and it all goes awry.

Best Lines:
“Don’t even talk to me.”

“Why am I bleeding?”

“Pain induced questioning.”

“You’re weak.”

“No thanks.”

The Plague
The Black Death causes mortal fear. Francis goes looking for Lola and her bastard. Plague infiltrates the castle. Nostradamus looks very different. Nobody asks when he had the shave and haircut. Mary is mendacious. Greer snots. There is death and plotting. Mary plots, badly. Others plot better. Bash broods. Francis wants his bastard son. There are exposition dumps and this was okay.

Best Lines:
“Not this day.”

“Thank him and say goodbye.”

“Show your gratitude and grant me your silence.”

“You’re nobody now.”

“The next King after Francis.”

“You are nothing but a guest in this court without the support of your King.”

“Death already walks the halls.”

Drawn And Quartered
Who is engraving gravestones during a plague? Bash is made Francis’ advisor. Francis’ cousin, Conde, moves in. Mary is unhappy over Lola’s bastard. Has the plague suddenly passed? Mary and Francis share a bedroom which royalty didn’t do. Mary’s judicial murder comes back to haunt her. Nostradamus is accused. There is foreshadowing of Mary’s future overthrow and downfall. Mary makes stupid irrevocable decisions. Greer annoys. Mary doesn’t cover her hair despite being married and being Queen of France. Executions are demanded. There are ghosts. Who carved Henri’s tomb and when? Greer is abandoned. The seal of confessional is broken. Catherine abandons Nostradamus. Horrible deaths are avoided. Leith loses his land. Nostradamus leaves. Francis is called a usurper. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Your actions spared no one!”

“You command nothing!”

“He killed a Cardinal!”

“My lands feed your people.”

“After all I’ve done for you!”

“Ask your statue.”

“I don’t like you.”
“I don’t care.”

“All the wars and whores were nothing.”

Family Business
The Snow Queen was Emma’s foster mother. Belle just sits there and looks pretty whilst lying. Belle’s father was stolid and her mother died. Why did TPTB reconfigure the show to make it all about the boring Anna and Elsa? The proliferation of fantastical myths goes on. The acting consists of emotive hand gestures and wrung out whining. This ep was a joyless existence. Robin Hood waves a crossbow. Significant risk factors are indicated by tearful piano ballads. Rumpo is unstoppably horrid and full of petulance, arrogance and bad temper. This ep was full of limitations and clichéd meanderings. Anna has a deep honest implacable hatred for the Snow Queen Ingrid. This was crass, embarrassing and tacky.

Best Lines:
“An evil ice cream truck.”

“They’re quite nice.”

“I don’t think it’s a storm.”

“The war is not going well.”

“I know his name. And I dare not speak it.”

The Snow Queen
The origin of Ingrid’s unreal nostalgia and deep dissociation is shown. Robin Hood has delusional love for Regina. Emma is jealous of her baby brother. Snow White and Prince Charming and their dad sandals are terrible parents. There is foreshadowing of Dark Swan. There is bad SFX. The ‘goodies’ are manipulative, callous, superficial and loaded with judgement. This was all indignity with no sincerity or emotional connection. Emma’s powers go out of control leading to contrived drivel. The incontrovertible fact is that this was dumb. There is tragedy and passing passion and desire and awful people. This was less successful.

Best Lines:
“What dark sorcery is this?”

“Silly little things.”

“Devil box.”

“Your scary face on.”

Time And Tide
Jarvis is questioned by the SSR. Peggy suffers indignities. Dottie Underwood moves in. There is mention of a tide gate. Jarvis has a past. There is no threat present. Where’s the Tommy Lee Jones character. There is death and Jarvis gives viewers plentiful reasons to dislike him. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Next one over.”

“Don’t be that guy.”

The Blitzkrieg Button
Howard Stark returns to spread more raw misery. Peggy’s landlady more or less calls her a ho. The chief interrogates a Nazi war criminal. Stark acts like he is in a ‘Carry On’ movie. Thompson looks good in his 1940s suits and slick hair. There is uncertainty as to where the plot is going. Peggy realises that Howard isn’t as shiny lovable package and that he and Jarvis have been lying to her. Lies and secrets are revealed. Peggy is disgusted. There is a reveal and a Stan Lee cameo. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“One who frequents taxi dance halls.”

“A man in a girdle.”

“The only thing missing are words.”

“Defend young women from compulsion.”

“It is unbecoming for a lady to read Freud.”

“You are disgusting.”

“A bum you found down the street.”

“Carol once put a whole chicken down her sweater.”

“These rolls keep for 3 days. 4 if it’s cold and you put em out on the windowsill.”

“Could you make me one of those that holds pickles?”

“All American cow.”

“Tell me your name and profession.”

“Your stink.”

“We got ourselves a conspiracy.”
Tags: agent carter, covert affairs, once upon a time, reign

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