‘Dinotrux’ promo
No.
‘Orange Is The New Black’ promo
No.
‘Mad Men’ clip
Sally watches ‘The Man From UNCLE’ on a cheap ass TV but is interrupted by malign involvement.
‘We Are your Friends’ TV spot
No.
‘American Bully’ trailer
A disturbed young man and his friends do stuff. No.
‘Evil Things’ trailer
Looks annoying and full of screaming.
‘Adam Chaplin’ trailer
A rubber demon and this looks cheap and 80s.
‘Descendents’ trailer
Cheap looking with vampires.
‘Trapped Ashes’ trailer
Looks 80s with sex, monsters, blood and killer titties.
‘Breadcrumbs’ trailer
Idiots are menaced by weirdoes in this take on ‘Hansel & Gretel’. Maybe.
Best Line:
“That was just a little creepy.”
‘We Are Your Friends’ trailer
No.
‘Legend’ trailer
Tom Hardy is the Krays. I preferred the version with Martin and Gary Kemp.
‘Hitting The Apex’ trailer
Mmmm.
‘Point Break’ trailer
Stop remaking things!
‘No Escape’ TV spot
Mmmm.
Mature cheddar & red onion kettle crisps - mmm.
Gluten free chocolate chip biscuit breaks - okay.
Salted caramel chocolate spread - nice.
Banky’s Dismalland looks weird.
When I was in Monterey I saw Grey whales. I remember that.
Another squirrel came to eat. And then another!
I will review ‘Gentleman Jole and The Red Queen’, ‘The Forgotten Room’, ‘The Mammoth Book of the Mummy’, ‘The Alchemy of Chaos’, ‘A Pocket Full Of Lies’, ‘The Doll Collection’, ‘The Falling’ and ‘The Perfectionists’.
I won’t read ‘Glorious Angels’, ‘The House of Shattered Wings’, ‘Deceptions’ or ‘Earthly Joys’.
I won’t review ‘Once Upon A Time’ 4x04 ‘The Apprentice’ or 4x05 ‘Breaking Glass’.
I won’t bother with ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ issue 10x18.
‘The Goldbergs’ Quotes:
“Drugs?”
“Thank you. No.”
“You do know none of this is real?”
‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Seduced him all the way to the altar.”
“Helping herself to my future.”
“She still hasn’t apologised.”
“Hateful voicemails.”
“How not sorry she was.”
“Not your man.”
“I can’t do things sexually.”
“Didn’t have repentance.”
“Why do I have to be here for this?”
“Bitch face.”
“Hatred and the anger.”
“How are you self-righteous and sanctimonious?”
“Made being a bitch a lifestyle.”
“Does the turkey fly or what?”
“That didn’t need to go on.”
‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ season 9 Quotes:
“People bones?”
“We have them.”
“So what will it look like?”
“Different.”
“We’re begging for help from something, and it’s not dirt.”
~
On ‘Hollyoaks’: Why have Reenie and Pete taken over Myra’s house? Sienna and Nico and their GHD hair shack up with Ben. Darren plans to propose to Maxine. Esther wakes up. Frankie slaps Grace and disrepsects her. Nancy doesn’t bring up Craig and Sarah to John-Paul but she should. Where was Matthew when Porsche was throwing John-Paul, Lockie and Mercedes out of the house and showering them with suitcases? Nancy and Darren aren’t divorced. Aren’t Patrick and Maxine divorced? Where is Mitzeee?
Pete sneers. John-Paul, Mercedes and Lockie plot. Grace wants Dylan gone. Why was Claire killed off and replaced with her never before mentioned sister Grace? Lockie tries to get Porsche to forgive him by using highly inappropriate words in an echo of Pete. Porsche is disgusted, Pete reacts and Lockie has no idea why what he’s said is so awful.
Pete sneers. John-Paul, Mercedes and Lockie plot. Grace wants Dylan gone. Why was Claire killed off and replaced with her never before mentioned sister Grace? Lockie tries to get Porsche to forgive him by using highly inappropriate words in an echo of Pete. Porsche is disgusted, Pete reacts and Lockie has no idea why what he’s said is so awful.
Lockie claims to be misunderstood. Patrick broods by a cliff. John-Paul ignores his son. He and Mercedes aren’t sorry. Reenie threatens Mercedes with a cricket bat. Pete feels up Porsche. Maxine somehow finds Patrick by the cliff. Patrick is faking being sorry. Where is Theresa? Patrick soberly decides not to hand himself in. Dylan stomps off. Darren berates Maxine and makes ultimatums. Darren is awful. Cameron, Leela and Peri all rant. Porsche sings ‘Shake If Off’ off-screen.
Boyband-haired Dylan pouts. Maxine is in a slippery moral area. Frankie and Jack coo over Esther. Esther’s problems are trivialised. This is an endless melodrama where nothing is at stake. Maxine is described as kind; everyone forgets how she used to wear FM shoes and mock people. Dylan plots with Kim. Maxine leaves Darren to be Patrick’s carer.
Best Lines:
“Mercedes owes me a tenner!”
“That drug pushing boy of yours.”
“But Lockie?”
“Not my Ste. Not anymore.”
“Why are you dressed like a gigolo?”
“I didn’t stick my finger in any pie.”
“Don’t make me the enemy.”
“Those 3 skanks.”
“Lord of the underworld.”
“They hate all of us!”
“You disgust me.”
“Mum! I killed someone!”
“Locked in a youth offenders!”
“You’re scaring me.”
“I’m glad.”
“He can’t be here.”
“Would you marry me?”
“I did. Twice.”
“Get naked and feed me pizza.”
“You will not win on this.”
“She can have him.”
“You deserve to be alone.”
“Spreading lies about us.”
“Having a séance with the underworld.”
“Kim never wanted you or the baby.”