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Trailers, Quotes and a 2006 Tape Tale

‘Doctor Who’ series 9 trailer
Loud and annoying. Daleks, Missy and Capaldi riding horses and diving out a window. This looks ugly and will Clara just die?!?

‘Hitman: Agent 47’ TV spot

Best Line:
“They want our dna to build an army.”

‘Charmed’ promo ‘Forever Charmed’
The last ever ep. Yeah!

‘Teen Mom 2’ promo
Mutual bitter hostility and no moral authority.

‘The Trials Of Jimmy Rose’ promo
This ITV drama looks okay.

Best Line:
“I’m done with being a good boy.”

Made some more gluten free cupcakes - yum.
Gluten free strawberry tart - yum.
Gluten free beef roll - yum.
Fresh lemon dairy free frozen goodness - not so hot.

I won’t read ‘Shattering The Ley’ or ‘She Walks In Darkness’.

‘Loving You’ Barbie from 1983 is fugly.

Abz looks rough.

‘Victoria Derbyshire’ Quote:
“I regret certain things.”

Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“You’re the dirt bag she’s referring to?”

“Exponentially more true.”

“Unemployed people don’t turn down jobs!”

“You made the problem.”

“Her ruined reputation.”

“She has a new weave.”

‘Charmed’ Quotes:
“I want your screams.”

“She’s not our concern.”

“Really great good.”

‘V For Vendetta’ Quotes:
“But I’d rather die behind the chemical sheds.”

“What you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I’m no longer standing because if I am, you’ll all be dead before you’ve reloaded.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Kim and Dylan are still in the opening credits. Lockie has no accountability. Sinead does not seem to mourn baby Katy. Lockie serves Porsche a rancid breakfast. Mercedes is jealous of Porsche. Pete and his loutish behaviour pervs over Cleo. Sinead wants to hook up Scott and Harry overlooking the age difference. Celine is thick.

Porsche is thick and thankless. Lindsey visits Joe. Has she ever apologised for the cheating and inexplicably deciding Freddie was her soul mate? Sinead torments Nico. Pete and Reenie ruin Porsche’s party. Ste and Harry flirt. Where is John Paul? What happened to John Paul’s love of music? Pete corners Cleo. Sinead locks Harry and Ste in a portaloo. Nico and Dylan fall out. Why are we supposed to feel sorry for the dim Cleo?

Pete is in his vest in post cotial bliss with Cleo. Mercedes has to shag Lockie at Porsche’s birthday party because she’s a slag. Holly sticks her nose in as Cleo goes looking for the morning after pill. Harry and Ste flirt. John Paul finally shows up. WTF is Porsche wearing? Harry is 17 - why would he want Ste? Lockie calls Porsche his narky wife and berates her for not being fun Porsche. Maybe that is because she told you she was abused by Pete and you went out drinking beer with him the next day?

A vicar visits and Sinead puts on a posh accent. Mercedes and John Paul laugh at Porsche at her party. Lockie shags Porsche and then ditches the party to head off to shag Mercedes and doesn’t seem to wash his junk in-between. This family are awful. Ste calls Scott “trash”. Takes one to know one. A confrontation blows up when Porsche espies the morning after pill leaflet. Dylan fondles Grace’s negligee.

Best Lines:
“A Reenie free zone.”

“Let’s all feel sorry for Reenie.”

“He’s not got your record.”

“I’ve seen nicer looking stuff up Nana’s nostril.”

“I’m sweating more than mum going through customs.”

“That Dylan’s a drug dealer.”

“He’s nothing like his dad.”

“Spend 69p on that spoilt cow?”

“Boob flash the barman.”

“I’m trash.”

“He’s in the bogs.”


“Almost as cheap as you.”

Cleared out a 2006 tape. It began with the last ever ‘Invasion’ ep ‘The Last Wave Goodbye’. Where did Carlita and her cat carrier go? The hybrids plan a mass transformation which is stopped. Why is nobody wondering where Carlita is? There is a next stage after hybrids. There is bad CGI. Someone is shot. This was absolutely appalling. Larkin is taken into the water by Underlay.

Then came a ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Fade’ in which Lois the whore, Clark, Chloe and the Kents continue to treat Lex terribly. F this show.

Then came a ‘Charmed’ ep ‘Kill Billie Vol 2’ in which TCO are reviled as selfish trash monsters. Paige whines. There is bad CGI and witch fights. TCO have protagonist cantered morality. The Hallow is dug out again. The Triad get got, again. Stuff blows up and so does the Manor. Piper staggers around the wreckage and finds Phoebe dead (yeah) and has a good cry. Leo the dolt returns and is slack jawed at the general destruction. Piper encounters Billie and so Piper’s stunt double attacks her. This was ugh.

Best Lines:
“We’ve been waiting for you.”

“We don’t need potions.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“Though not as I expected.”

Then finally there was a ‘Criminal Minds’ ep ‘The Popular Kids’ in which a satanic cult is suspected. The satanic panic is mentioned. This was infuriating.

Best Lines:
“People you see but don’t know much about.”

“Became born again in prison.”

“Potential satanic cult members.”


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