epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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6 TV Reviews

Friday The 13th: The Series (1987 - 1990) 1x25

What A Mother Wouldn’t Do
A cursed cradle from the RMS Titanic drives a couple with a sick baby to drown people to cure it. The mother was gifted the evil cradle at her baby shower. The couple just drown people with no indication of how this started. The husband says nothing much. The acting is appalling. The cradle looks like a bird box coffin. The baby either screeches or coos all the damn time. Water gushes out of the cradle and this was abysmal.

Best Lines:
“There is nothing wrong with my baby!”

“I won’t kill my baby!”

“We’ve got a sick baby in here.”

“The baby’s sleeping in it.”

Indictment: The McMartin Trial (1995)
This HBO movie stars James Woods, Mercedes Ruehl, Lolita Davidovitch and Nicollete Sheridan. It centres on the infamous satanic abuse moral panic and is very good and shocking.

The Bionic Woman (1976 - 1978) 2x02&2x07

In This Corner, Jamie Sommers
Jamie goes undercover as a female wrestler. This was funny.

Black Magic
A man has died leaving his will as a treasure hunt. Jamie poses as his estranged niece and must find the treasure and the top secret formula. Wait doesn’t the hallway look like a chessboard and isn’t the stained glass window looking kinda cluey? Okay.

The Walking Dead 5x12

The gang arrive in Alexandria several members down. The Alexandria lot are their moral opposites namely they aren’t violent paranoid killers. Rick’s gang are nefarious and full of glaring suspicions. This is not wrenching drama as Rick and co plan violence and act in offbase, absurd and ungrateful ways. Rick is not unkempt anymore but he is an angry, humourless, indifferent tool. I’m tired of the gang being snide, snotty and reacting in overtly maniacal ways to kindness and branding discomfortingly nice people as milquetoast. This was mortifyingly bad and full of ignorance and apathy. Rick would fail National Outdoor Leadership School because he is a tool.

Hannibal 3x10

And The Woman Clothed With The Sun
No wonder this was cancelled. ACTINGS are shown off. Bedelia Du Maurier speaks like she is on drugs and does a speech about being under duress and that is why she harmed social morality. She’s lying. She and Will have an Important Conversation. The blind woman pets a tiger. This ep was cold, dark and uninteresting. Francis is abhorrent and beneath contempt. He also runs around in his underpants. This was a lull of an ep. Hannibal tricks a phone operator; Brian Cox made the scene more disturbing. There is a flashback to Bedelia’s patient (Zachary Quinto) whom she and Lecter drove crazy and killed. Bedelia rejects weakness and needs killing. She's jealous Hannibal likes Will more. There is more subtext. Francis eats a painting and fights Will.

Best Lines:
“Demonic sexuality.”

“Don’t ask if you don’t.”

“I’ll mace you in the face.”

“You’d have it coming.”

“Why do you do that a lot?”

“She’s unaware enough.”

“This is culty and weird!”

“Righteous violence.”
Tags: 1980s horror anthologies, hannibal, review, scary 1970s tv, the walking dead

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