epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: X The Unknown + Into The West + 5 others

X The Unknown (1956)
This black and white Hammer film centres on a monster from the Earth’s core. Men with Mr Whippy hair face it down with out-moded tech. This was profoundly un-glamorous and not unusually complex. It was almost a parody of gloom. It was not volatile and lacked slowly rising tension and conniving acting. The monster has sinister autonomy and goes around being disruptive. It’s ultimately destructive and disintegrates and debilitates. The wayward misbehaving thing must be stopped by irritating intellectuals. Terrorformer!

Best Lines:
“2000 miles down. Who knows?”

“Stop lowering.”

“Get me out of here quick!”

“The food’s bad enough when it’s warm.”

“You got worms?”

“It must have a bottom somewhere.”

“Nameless horrors creeping around in the night.”

“How do you kill mud?”

~
Into The West (1992)
Two Traveller boys find a magic horse and go on an adventure whilst shouting all their lines. Their drunken hapless father (Gabriel Byrne) broods and mutters and sleeps under his coat like a whore. He finally goes looking for them with the help of another Traveller (Ellen Barkin). The dirty thieving ill-mannered kids nearly get killed and get away with their vileness. This was terrible with ridiculous geography and Byrne acting like he is in ‘King Lear’.

Best Lines:
“The other man is your father.”

“Are you trying to get me put in jail?”

“Don’t start the funny breathing.”

“About 15 sir.”

“Don’t let me keep you from the drink.”
“You won’t.”

“You are harbouring a pony.”

“Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”

“The drunken layabout sponging no good.”

“Tinker’s whore.”

~
Never Say Never Again (1983)
Bog standard drivel with Sean Connery and Kim Basinger.

300 (2006)
An overblown tale of Thermopylae and Xerxes.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Demeaning unsuccessful trailer trash melodrama.

Little Shop Of Horrors (1986)
Good.

The Breakfast Club (1983)
I HATE THIS FILM.
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