epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Movie Reviews: Tourist Trap + 7 others

Tourist Trap (1979)
A brunette short shorts wearing Tanya Roberts co-stars as one of a group who travel on an old road. What is this film about? It’s about two hours too long. A moron dies. His moron friends fail to notice. Said friends don’t read road signs or have any concept of trespass laws. A man with a gun rants about a bypass and takes them to a mannequin museum. The mannequins attack and kill. The friends seem unconcerned about their missing friend, the obvious weirdo and the creepy mannequins. This was ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“And you thought this was a cheap tourist trap.”

“Who needs a bathing suit?”

“Y’all best leave before it gets dark.”

“Likes to chop up pretty girls by moonlight.”

“I got nobody to call.”

Rewatch: Twelve Monkeys (1995)
I decided to rewatch this after watching season 1 of the really enjoyable TV show. A virus will ravage the earth in 1997 and lead to humanity abandoning the surface. James Cole (Bruce Willis) is sent back in time. Kathryn Railly (Madeline Stowe) is a shrink who dresses like she is on ‘Melrose Place’. Cole gets naked a lot and ends up in a loony bin in 1990 with Jeffrey (Brad Pitt). Cole blathers about the Army of the Twelve Monkeys.

The scientists in the future seem to be inept, the time travel is inexact and what is up with Cole’s cellmate Jose? Cole ends up in 1996 and unwittingly helps create the bad future. I prefer the TV show. Railly becomes a screeching Cassandra. People show off their ACTINGS amidst hysteria. There are bad wigs, zoo animals wandering the city, Jeffrey’s dad (Christopher Plummer) is important, a cop (Christopher Meloni) has big hair and a non-entity (David Morse) turns out to be very important. This and its twist was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Anti-social sex.”

“The permanent emergency code.”

“Socialization classes.”

“I don’t have to understand.”

“It’s not the right number yet.”

“I’m a mental patient; I’m supposed to act out.”

“Made dire prognostications about a pestilence.”

“This plague doomsday scenario.”

“I was attacked by a coked up whore.”

“Seemed too crazy even for you.”

Witness For The Prosecution (1957)
An Agatha Christe movie that stars Marlene Dietrich and the ending changes everything.

Summer Of Fear (1978)

The Last Seduction (1994)
Neo-noir crap.

Cool World (1992)

Millers Crossing (1990)

Best Line:
“What heart?”

The Guardian (1990)
Terrible horror.
Tags: 12 monkeys, movie review

Comments for this post were disabled by the author