epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Out Of The Dark + Chitty Chitty Bang Bang + Pitch Perfect

Out Of The Dark (2014)
A drip wife (Julia Stiles), her hipster husband (Scott Speedman of ‘Last Resort’ and ‘Underworld’) and their daughter move with the wife’s father (Stephen Rea of ‘V For Vendetta’) to Colombia. Rea’s accent slides all over the place, there is exposition and this isn’t scary at all.

The contrarian husband never changes his facial expression, granddad says everything sardonically and I feel discouraged from caring. The moppet is in peril. Nobody has deep and subtle thoughts. Much ill can be spoken of this mess. The parents ignore the obviously evil arts going on until they can’t. They are dismissively avoidant. Monsters want revenge or something.

Everyone is noticeably lacking in hope. Thank you so much for this ugly crap TPTB. This was a really sad career move for everyone, especially Julia Stiles. Everyone has the personality of a can of body spray. There is ranting, an obvious reveal and a boring ridiculous ending. This was ignominiously stupid.

Best Line:
“The dark legends don’t exactly help either.”

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968)
This sexist slow ‘classic’ centres on disingenuous people. A crackpot inventor and his two moppets sing horrible songs. A woman and a grandfather wander around. Barbara Windsor and Benny Hill feature as the idiot selfish father builds a flying car. They visit a mad country, the child catcher prances and this was a glittering misery which is all a dream or something. Terrible.

Pitch Perfect (2012)
This terrible film features annoying people, singing and an irritating bimbo. They slut it up to win the big contest. I could care less.

Best Lines:
“Your oral magic.”

“Dixie Chick serious.”

“Make good choices.”

“You don’t like fun things.”
Tags: last resort, movie review
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