epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Mission Impossible 2x14&2x15 + True Blood 7x07 + Odyssey 1x08 Reviewed

Gunslinger
An old west tourist resort when a baddie lives out his fantasies of what he imagines the old west was like is the setting for nefarious activities. The baddie, McClintock, has a henchman: Slade. Unobservant morons fail to notice Slade and his boss’ evil and their cascade de mepris for morality.

Nicholas seems fine after the events of 2x13. The gang get jobs as cowboys - Nicholas does not convince as a bum. Shannon is a bar wench. Jim is a guest. Slade strides through old fashioned saloon doors in bombastic fashion. McClintock has an obsession with real macho men. Grant is insulted. Nicholas wears an unbuttoned shirt and tight jeans. Grant invents liquid crystal playing cards.

McClintock is forced and dull and has a possible psychosexual problem. Shannon acts as a sexual decoy. Nicholas and Grant explore a mine. Jim does gun twirling. There is a fake radiation leak and a card game. This was mind numbing.

Best Lines:
“Old fashioned red eye.”

“We don’t talk.”

“He’s a cowboy?”
“Well, there’s no doubt he’d like to be. All his life, McClintock has been fascinated by the legends of the old Wild West, obsessed with the Hollywood image of the hard-riding, fast-drawing cowboy.”

“They smell things up.”

“I’ll show you who’s a boy.”

~
Church Bells In Bogota
There is an opening exposition dump involving a Colombian drug baron and hysteria. The IMF is to do a rendition of the drug lord. Max is to be a mercenary. Nicholas wears an unbuttoned shirt and Shannon is to be a singer. Shannon is suddenly afraid of small planes. Jim is all stony and magisterial.

Shannon’s ‘plane’ crashes in horribly fake fashion as she screams. Max dresses like a stereotypical mercenary while hefting weaponry. Shannon has amnesia. Jim gives assurances and leaves her to be carried off by drug lords who offer her an unappetising fruit tray. Shannon does a twirl, men wear tights over their heads and nobody has scruples.

Grant does angry. There is made up technology. Shannon sings and gurns to a perfidious man. Shannon the raddled harridan and improbable martyr is tawdry and Shannon is about as vulnerable as a cement brick. There is a wedding, timer handcuffs and Nicholas pretending to be a priest. Shannon wears a horrible wedding dress and the junior drug lord yells as the IMF get away.

Best Lines:
“When do I meet him?”
“You don’t.”

“We pay by the pound.”

“Those damn coffee growing peasants.”

~
May Be The Last Time
Eric and Pam get violent; the promise of a paycheque is the only thing dragging this show forward. Eric kills Amber. Andy and his permanent scowl is obsessed with Adilyn’s corrupted innocence narrative. Jessica is selfish and has a not so considerable intellect. Eric has palpable animosity for everything. This is non-compelling terrible television. Arlene has discontent. Eric is not contrite, thoughtful or sincere. There are more Bill flashbacks. Hoyt shows up and Jason has no believable moral dilemma. What about all the other dead people? Jason pervs over Hoyt’s girl and lies about the murder of Hoyt’s mother because personal growth is unknown to Jason. There is fairy crap and Sookie is un-amiably long winded. This was shamefully underwritten and lazy. Sarah visits an old haunt. Sookie whines. Arlene is Hep-V positive but nobody cares. Violet is freaky. Sarah goes mad.

Best Lines:
“How very spooky.”

“Your fairy line.”

“Being what we are.”

“I’ll see you in hell, when I get there.”

~
Kmag Yoyo
The celebrity is dead. Peter boffed the Greek back in the day. Peter’s wife won’t listen and has moral outrage. This show does nothing tolerably well. Ruby rubs a foot. Bob and his mother talk. Nobody shares information. This show’s potential couldn’t be more wasted. Wasn’t manbot Harrison arrested? The manbot rants. This was meretricious. Private military guy gets beat up. Ruby cries and her boss growls. There is a sudden reversal. Odelle’s daughter meets Allison Mack from ‘Smallville’ who is evil. The boy annoys.

Best Lines:
“Don’t ever try to play me Ruby.”

“Give you a quick death.”
“Whatever.”

“Your ill-advised investigation.”
Tags: mission impossible, review, true blood
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