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LastShip 2x01 +Humans 1x04 +Mission Impossible (1988 - 1990 ) 2x01 - 2x04 +Americans 3x01 Reviewed

Unreal City
The USS Nathan James has been seized by the forces of Granderson (Alfre Woodard) and the new opening credits are good. There’s a furore as chaotic events take place. A reckless self-righteous, portly guy waves a gun. A mad ideology is practised by people with posturing viciousness and hollow bluster. The catastrophic consequences of the plague produce no emotional deluge. The Commander tries for sagacity and the plot arc of season 2 is unguessable.

The cure has transformative benefits. The Commander’s kids annoy. The smug bastard rebel leader (Titus Welliver) is ineffective.  A punk who can’t act rants about the egomaniacal and deceptive Granderson. Someone finally listens to his denouncing of Granderson’s deeply damaging grave offences. This episode was needless and manifestly failed.

The bad guys aren’t fearsome or intimidating just ignorant of their own ghastliness. I have no idea what’s going on. America is no longer a lieu de ve. This was all inaction and transgression of cultural norms. Dr Scott is on a perceived redemptive path - which does not resonate profoundly. Quincy and his idiot wife act at variance with the known facts. This leads to a display of needless ineptitude that creates no emotional relationship. There is slow-motion death and you’re not sure what is happening. The balding Adam Baldwin annoys. The Gitmo guard reappears. The Commander’s daughter needs a slap. The pregnant Kara is menaced for her unborn child’s stem cells by awful people. This was crap.

Best Lines:
“We need the armoury.”

“There’ll be a time but it’s not now.”

“Find the primordial!”

“Not good.”

“I saw a woman stab her sister in the back for a can of beans.”

“The apocalypse is here. It’s been here for a long time.”

“What the hell country are we even in?”

“What rebels?”

“I need to see wristbands.”

“I don’t know you.”

“Climbed up the anchor chain.”

“We will over-run you.”

“Welcome to reject city.”
“People live here?”

“Warm up the equipment.”

~
Humans 1x04
People try to find out Anita’s secrets. Laura is gratuitously deeply critical. Tosh from ‘Torchwood’ pops up as a colleague of Laura’s. Pete’s wife Jill suddenly wants him gone. Pete has fearful thoughts about Jill’s synth Simon. Laura’s husband pervs on Anita. A group of taunting teenage boys plan to molest a synth. Matlida changes her ideology but is still annoying. This was not gruelling or distressing. Matilda and Leo meet as the plot takes oblique turns. Leo is frustrated and anxious and meets George. Events reinforce the perception that Leo is a synth. The sexbot crashes a synth fight club. This ep was a sadness clump. I hope this show hasn’t irrevocably gone downhill. I don’t care about Leo and his computer programs. There is a massive reveal about Pete’s colleague Carol.

Best Lines:
“Are you sure he was human?”

“She’ll come round.”
“No she won’t.”

“Policeman hospitalises journalist.”

“You don’t make me happy anymore.”

“Don’t seem to like us very much.”

“You are a nasty little creep.”

“That’s what smash clubs are for.”

~
The Golden Serpent part 1
There is 80s hair, a drug cartel and TPTB finally stop hiding the fact that the show is filmed in Australia. What is Jim didn’t accept the mission? What would happen then? Does nobody ever hear Jim listening to those discs? An evil Prince and his bodyguard Baal do evil stuff. Max sounds Australian and Shannon’s cleavage is on full display. Grant’s father Barney is undercover in the drug cartel. The cartel has its logo everywhere. There is bad SFX, a shark tank that nobody ever falls into sadly and the Prince is a wannabe Bond villain.

There are lasers, Barney gets busted, there is bad acting, a 3D printer and Nicholas doesn’t do a lot. The job has painful accompanying circumstances. Grant overacts, things go awry, Jim wears a badly fitted suit and Nicholas wears an art deco tie. Max and Baal fight on a bridge. Some really bad SFX ruins the stunts. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I’m scrambling.”

“We load tomorrow at dawn.”

“This is as close as we dare get.”

“He wouldn’t leave me.”
“He would. He’d have to.”

“I wish Max wasn’t firing blanks.”

~
The Golden Serpent part 2
Several minutes of part 1 are replayed and the cliff-hanger is resolved in ridic fashion. There is a gunfight, a boat chase and explosions. Nicholas does a dramatic turn, a hit woman with a crossbow looms and Shannon wears clown pants. Nicholas wears a black leather jacket that creaks when he moves. There are fights, someone dies of laser zaps and things just keep on exploding. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“The reach of the Golden Serpent is long!”

“You might have to find another El Presidente!”

“Your phone call upset me terribly.”

~
The Princess
Jim wears a yellow cardi, there is a mention of the Warsaw Pact and a Princess Grace expy is in peril. There is fur and dated political stuff. The Princess in peril wears her tiara crooked. Nicholas does brooding and uses his real name for some reason. Nicholas and Grant do a status cementing con. Max does sneering. Nicholas gets fake shot yet again. The less disquieting minor baddie falls for it. Nicholas wears a horrible sweater. A yoga gear wearing woman is the big bad and is baited. Why do bad guys talk to themselves? The IMF are oblivious to the obvious. Nuns dress like ‘The Flying Nun’ and Shannon is shot. Tuxes are worn and this was good.

Best Lines:
“Libya doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

“You’re gonna wake up in an alley.”

~
Command Performance
Not feasible made up computer technology is used. There is trouble in the Baltic region. Father Vallis is in peril. A cross is missing and people communicate via telegram. There is a circus and Nicholas wears a weird suit. Witticisms are uttered wryly. No-one seems to recall Casey’s existence. Max mentions flying helicopters in Nam - isn’t he too young? Nicholas wears the fakest beard in the history of fake beards. He looks like Fortycoats. So far season 2 has been a vast improvement on the horrendous much-maligned season 1 which was a congealed mass of the calcified and the pedestrian. While season 2 is not exactly a pulsating breeding ground for innovation and subversion - it at least has vitality and ingenuity.

Jim puts on a bizarre Southern accent. There are booby traps and more 3D printing. The prissy baddie is tirelessly bad and is after the cross/manufactured self help consumer product. Nicholas has unfailing forbearance. A worthy objective is achieved. Nicholas doing stuff leaves me sufficiently satisfied.

There are strained conciliatory tones, a gravely diminished riled up baddie, clowns and Jim acting as ringmaster. The gang escape and presumably go get matcha tea after the contremps in the godless and lawless place. This was goodish but not on speaking terms with plausibility.

Best Lines:
“It’s some kind of bear trap.”

“Nobody’s that quick.”

“This was not made in the 7th century.”

“When he finds out, you wouldn’t want to be there.”

“Kill your enemy.”

“Those circus people did this to me!”

“I want those people dead!”

~
EST Men
Elizabeth wears a bad wig and meets a CIA mole who then changes her mind. The FBI chases Elizabeth and she fights off two agents and her wig doesn’t come off. She does get to punch Gaad in the face. Paige has unfitness to be a second generation spy as she’s a moron. Philip and Elizabeth have no candour. War rages in Afghanistan. Stan goes to a self help group. Dentists, ERs and doctors are alerted to report a woman with a jaw injury. Phillip and Elizabeth have a new handler. The centre is interested in Paige and Elizabeth wants Paige to know. No-one acts reasonably. Stan is not vocal enough about Nina’s fate. Elizabeth learns her mother is dying. A defector defects. There is a murder and this was dull.

Best Lines:
“Gotta let your man do the heavy lifting.”

“How close?”
“Very.”

“What is it?”
“It’s Swedish.”

“Open to the right ideas.”

“Be a good American wife.”
Tags: humans, mission impossible, the americans, the last ship
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