Paradox
Why did 2017 Cassie have a silver streak in her hair? In 2043 Jones is still a classless jerk. Cole’s time travelling days are over. Dr Adler worries and in 2015 Cassie demands the young Jones fix Cole. Aaron is sick of Cole. Jennifer stages a hostile takeover of her father’s company. Aaron makes a deal with the grimly satisfied Army of the 12 Monkeys. Are Olivia and the Pallid Man time travellers as well?
Cassie and Jones look up the young Cole and his dad. Cassie has lost her wholesomeness and is bound and determined to prevent the plague. There are hints that Cole’s mother joined the Army of the 12 Monkeys. This was not emotionally resonant. Aaron is deluded into thinking that Cassie has merits that aren’t actually there. Cole has social dislocation. Pallid Man has lofty self regard. There is death. This episode was not ferocious and should be swiftly forgotten. How did Cole survive? Is the Pallid Man dead? Little Cole is dumped into foster care and meets not so little Ramse. And in 2043 Splinter is about to be attacked by Deacon and some weirdoes who look like the baddie from ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’.
Best Lines:
“God knows what further damage that did.”
“Sleep’s dangerous.”
“Then he left me.”
“This plant is not from our time.”
~
Arms Of Mine
In 2015 Cole will never time travel again. Ramse creates Project Splinter. Cole beats the crap out of Aaron in an attention grab while Cassie silently judges. Cassie and Cole are kind of terrible people. In 2043 Jones freaks out over ivy and Marcus broods. Back in 2015 the pretty horrible Cassie and Cole leave Aaron to die. But is he dead? Cassie wants jorts model Cole all to herself. Jennifer gives a bizarre contentious speech about bio-engineering. Cassie and Cole fail to notice that Jennifer is a full on member of the Army of the 12 Monkeys.
Mortal enemies Cole and Ramse meet. Ramse is the moral centre of this show. In 2043 the weirdoes, Deacon and a Spearhead survivor attack Splinter. In 2015 Jones’ husband shows up and there is no mention of the 12 Monkeys plate. Cole and Cassie are insufferable. What is the agenda of the Army of the 12 Monkeys? Why do they want a time machine? Why is Cole so unself aware and ungrateful? Ramse has surprising menace and all the monstrous acts were for naught. Cole can’t kill Ramse. But how does him being ‘bad’ tie in with events in ‘Atari’ and the alternate timeline?
Ramse says he isn’t The Witness. Vile creature Cassie does not listen and people get shot. This was good. What is Ramse’s agenda now? There is time travel and the Army of the 12 Monkeys and their cult indoctrination are awful. Cole is an ass. The Army of the 12 Monkeys plot and go on about cycles. Cole saves Ramse and changes fate. What is Deacon’s agenda? Can the future be changed? I’ll be there for season 2. Loved the ominous final scene of Jennifer and her jet.
Best Lines:
“It was so subtle.”
“Super cray.”
“Your face hole.”
“The rest are meaningless.”
“I don’t really know him anymore.”
“This whole time it was you. Why?”
“It took time travel to create time travel.”
“Then stand down.”
“That we cannot do.”
“You can’t change the past. Nobody can.”
“They are going to be a problem.”
“For you, not us.”
“I tried.”
“The cycle is complete.”
“The Witness has spoken.”
“His future unknowable.”
“Scripted by time. Unmovable.”
“We’ll find another way.”
“What is this?”
“I have work to finish.”
~
Altered Ego
This episode was tolerable. An obnoxious new mutant couple do stuff. She, Charlotte, exudes silver goo that can make people switch morality. He can kill plants. There is fighting and 90s sfx and 90s credits. The good guys: Adam (John Shea), Shalimar (Victoria Pratt of ‘Cleopatra 2525’), Emma (Lauren Lee Smith of ‘Ascension’) and Brennan (Victor Webster of ‘Charmed’ and ‘Continuum’) try to save the thankless Charlotte (Emily Hampshire of ‘12 Monkeys’) from the evil Mason Eckhart (Tom McCamus).
Adam broods, has an all black wardrobe and sulky Charlotte is gleefully awful and Mason sees potential. There is bad acting, Shalimar showing off her pleather underwear and plot illogic. Charlotte uses her toxin on a GSA goon - shouldn’t he become good? There is green tinted overacting and it is never explained why Mason looks like Andy Warhol. Charlotte’s powers are supposed to be permanent on humans so she targets Adam; people are persistently stupid and fail to notice Adam’s sudden psychotic stares and smirking. He seems to be wearing lip-gloss which undercuts the menace.
Mason seems to have forgotten how Emma falcon punched him right in the face back in ‘Double Vision’. Evil Adam is suitably annoyed by his idiot protégées. Charlotte suddenly feels remorse over her actions because status quo is god. Charlotte’s mancandy is forgotten. Evil Adam chases Shalimar and menaces the gang of twits. Evil Adam is the only one of the gang not low on charisma and brain cells.
Mason eyes his arch enemy Evil Adam like he wants them to oil up and go at it. Evil Adam tasers Mason. The gang power walk toward Evil Adam, attack him one by one and Charlotte suddenly ‘fixes’ him. This was preposterous and throws all canonical logic aside. Where did Evil Adam get the lighter and the hose? This was underwhelming with bad dialogue and Charlotte gets away with her crap after everything? The trailer declared: who better to destroy Mutant X than the leader of Mutant X? There was no destroying sadly.
Best Lines:
“She can make them bad.”
“All I do is kill plants! Not even big ones!”
“I change people.”
“Children of Genomex.”
“She can manipulate moral polarity.”
“Don’t use that tone on me Adam.”
“Did you know he was prone to this kind of behaviour when you hired him?”
“Need the files on brain re-systemisation.”
“Now he’s everyone’s worse nightmare. I don’t think he’s gonna bounce back from it.”
“Get off!”
“Do I detect a conscience?”
“Not likely.”
“It’s kind of pointless.”
“You can’t do this.”
“Watch me.”
“All the men in your life have been a constant disappointment haven’t they?”
~
Wingman
Odelle feels loneliness and despair. I feel utter indifference for this pointless and utterly worthless ep. This show is crushingly dull and full of directionless acting and grim hints of squandered opportunities. A French git bothers Odelle. Colonel Glen carries on the malignant cycle of blocking Odelle’s phone calls home. Humourless grump Peter whinges dourly. Ruby shows up creakily. Odelle tries to convince a reporter who she is. The excruciating and patronising boy plot drags on. Peter acts in irrational fashion.
Harrison is famously uncaring. There is a lack of social realism. Bob and his bro-speak recoils. Harrison’s stupidity defies easy comprehension. The unfortunate circumstances, unfair system and portentous dialogue are mostly risible. The Trashman lurks. There is death, a creepy boyfriend and the private military guy acts callously. The insanely confident smug snake evil boyfriend gets a beat down. This wasn’t bad just really boring and unnecessary.
Best Lines:
“Drug trade treating you well?”
“This crude creature.”
“I shoot your face off.”
“I hated him. Everyone did.”
“Your father was a bastard.”
“Who’s doing that crap?”
“Shame on you!”
~
Lost Cause
More misfortune, misery and wretchedness with moral imperatives. Primadonnas Pam and Eric hunt Sarah as they are awful and nobody cares. Tara is dead, nobody cares. Eric’s turning of Willa was unwarranted, unfair and inexcusable. This ep was not made with abundant talent. Ginger is still Eric and Pam’s slave and this is treated as a joke. It’s baffling that the bitterness filled, unworthy Sookie still has friends. She’s not deeply sad over the various deaths just ungrateful and has no moral arguments. She should be held in public contempt for her culpable neglect that has caused so much trouble.
Sookie is grim and disapproving with her face locked in a determined grimace. Sarah has a vampire sister named Amber. The grossly insensitive and appalling Bill has flashbacks. Sookie still wants to do unnatural lewdness with him. Bill was anti civil war and involved in the Underground Railroad (of course he was). There is violence, gore and sap. Jessica has ebullient goujaterie. This show has no potential. Jessica’s inadequacy is pointed out. Boredom is prevalent. There is ranting, the awful Eric dresses like JR Ewing, Jason shags Jessica and the yakuza attack. Yawn.
Best Lines:
“Time and tequila.”
“I have to go make tinkle.”
“Get out of my bar William Compton!”