epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Breakfast With Scot + Jurassic World

Breakfast With Scot (2007)
This Canadian indie movie stars Tom Cavanagh of ‘The Flash’. It is based on a novel I’ve never heard of. Eric (Cavanagh) was a tough ice hockey player with a disquieting haircut and a penchant for fights. His cool-kid vapidity ended after an injury and he’s now a sports announcer who talks in unfamiliar sports lingo. His chaste partner is Sam. Then Sam’s brother’s ex-girlfriend ODs and they have to take her son Scot in as his loser designated guardian is AWOL. So the duo become dads with sitcom easiness. Eric is feeling unenthused. Scot looks like Sloth from ‘The Goonies’ and insinuates himself into their home.

Mild absurdity ensues. Scot lacks the capacity to not annoy and he doesn’t hold the emotional centre. Eric is a closet case and Sam is unequivocally boring. What do they see in each other? All the funny bits were in the trailer. There is product placement. Inevitably sap happens which causes a deterioration in interest. It is still better than ‘Gridiron Gang’. There are unintended consequences to Scot’s arrival and Tom Cavanagh wears a vest. Sam is an unabated ass. The reserved Eric broods. This was not dazzlingly original, quirky or forthcoming - it is ‘My Two Dads’ for the new 10s. This is for Tom Cavanagh fans.

Best Lines:
“Julie died.”
“I’m sorry. Who’s Julie?”

“Short of searching the jails and the alleys, I don’t know where to look.”

“I think there’s money involved.”

“What if he joins a gang?”

“Give it to me to beat you with.”

“He’s divorced now. Wasn’t that quick.”

“Singing Christmas carols. In October. To himself. By himself.”

“You should just yell.”

“Two showers, it won’t come off.”

“Don’t sass me.”

“His poodle belt.”

“Watch the twirling okay?”

“Your Sam.”

“I am a hobo. A pretty hobo.”

“Why would I want freak advice?”

“It grows back. Very painfully.”

“Your gay dad’s gay!”

“Good luck in juvie Ryan.”

“Don’t you do this.”

“I have a pretty through distain for sports of any kind.”

“Lucky how?”

“She even likes you.”

Jurassic World (2015)
The inefficient 4th film after the good 1st, the bafflingly perfunctory 2nd and okay third. This was okay, oddly unscary and furiously sexist. Cynical conglomerates make a monster, Bryce Dallas Howard is useless, Chris Pratt is manly, two annoying kids annoy, Vincent D’Onofrio does his usual act and raptors attack. The park is open: ancient beats wander across vast plains, there is a petting zoo, a huge aquatic dinosaur and inept staff. There are many, many call-backs to the original. This performs amusingly and is all supple self-reflexiveness, sap and baffling sexism. I’m sure there will be a 5th film - there are enough sequel hooks. Can it be less sexist, obvious and annoying than this okay but ever so slightly dispiriting fumbling film in which Morgana from ‘Merlin’ gets killed by two different dino species at the same time.

Best Lines:
“Bigger teeth.”

“If the genetic code were pure, a lot of them would look quite different. But that’s not what you asked for. You asked for more teeth.”
Tags: flash, movie review

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