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Bikinis And Bitches
Patty is framed for cyber-bulling and she’s disqualified from Miss Magic Jesus. This show was a review bomb and this ep was bad. Coralee has left Bob. Evil Bob has moved Dixie in. Patty whines about her bleak life. Patty fails in the reputation economy. Brick whines and can’t act. Brick is socially repulsive. Patty is calculated and consistently terrible.

This ep is not worth condemning. Fortune turns against Patty. There is no emotional depth. Magnolia is nice to Patty, briefly. Magnolia gets drugs from Christen. This was challenging. Bob is twerpish. Bob cheated on Coralee. Dixie and Patty bitchfight. Patty has grave problems and is in an unhappy position and is not an arbiter of truth.

Patty deflects all kinds of responsibility and has no existential catharsis or limitless emotional revelation. This was not gripping storytelling. Christian is like Heath Ledger in ‘10 Things I Hate About You’. Christian manipulates Patty. This was fatuous. Christen is a nogoodnik. This was not unexpectedly delightful. Bob is not largely amiable. Does this show understand its own premise? Bob ignores his son.

There are anxious discussions. Nonnie is wistful. This was mediocre. There are serious difficulties and blatant unfairness. There is no lyrical prose Evil Bob gets shirt off and sneers about Coralee. Bob manhandles Evil Bob. This inevitably fails horribly. Christine Taylor plays Christian’s mother. Brick Patty does dreadful harm. Brick has moral outrage. Magnolia has no psychological support. Evil Bob is a terrible father. Christian is an ass. Dixie framed Patty, naturally.

Magnolia is unforgiving of Brick. Dixie ruins the bikini dog wash. Brick gets some drag queens to help. Magnolia is AWFUL and irate. Dire circumstances reverse. Nonnie makes a friend wearing a vagitarian t-shirt. This is not significant. There is no emotional tension. Brick snots. There is no dynamic tension just a conventional ending.

Best Lines:
“Didn’t want to be seen in public.”

“Using me for my dong.”

“Some old slut!”

“Bikini dog wash.”

“Throw the case.”

“Face down in a puddle of chocolate.”

“Pocket sized satan.”

“How do you know I like it up there?”

“I still felt left out.”

“Ate the birthday cake out of the trash.”

Costs Of War
Gallo walks off being shot in this final ever ep. Dark sinister plots are afoot. Poor Ian, he fulfilled promises and expected them to be fulfilled in return. There is enforcement action and socially unacceptable goings on and unverified claims. Why don’t they burn the crashed helo? Thea causes a panic. Gallo makes it all about himself. There is bad VFX and Nora recalls she murdered a CIA agent in 1x01.

The former POW starts praying as he comes home. This is not fiercely acted. Haskins has effortless authority. Thea tries to impose her will. The gimlet eyed Gallo is uninteresting and heinous and a mirthless dullard. Wild improbable conspiracy theories are spouted. Thea is prickly and suspicious. Her boss has a capacity for malice.

Jess and her husband mine the melancholia of his return. He acts in profoundly worrying ways. Ian cares for Nora. She still hasn’t admitted to her cheating and her shagging of Gallo the embodiment of bad man ballads. Nora’s orange. Some plot threads are left dangling. Nora lies to Ian, again. They’ve an inability to properly connect. Gallo and Nora confess their lies. Why isn’t Nora prosecuted for murdering the CIA agent?

Morally wrong things are done. You can’t trust a guy named Tucker. Namely Thea’s boss who is a baddie and in a twist, his evil boss is Ian’s mother. Though nobody knows that. This ends on a note of figurative gloom. Nora, the only female pilot in Special Ops, is thrown out of the military in disgrace. The dangling plot threads forebode trouble. None of them will be resolved, sadly. The former POW sleeps on his floor and faces relentless suffering.

What about Nora’s friendly neighbourhood drug dealer? Gallo is tossed out of the military too. The new note of seriousness sees Gallo and Nora recruited for the CIA. They’ve no real choice. Their moral imperative is to recover the rest of the uranium. This was broadly likeable. Would Nora choose Ian or Gallo? We’ll never know. I enjoyed this, shame it was axed.

Best Lines:
“One Black Hawk to carry 2 helos worth of personnel.”

“None of this makes any sense.”

“Try faster.”

“Lift off speed.”

“Loading for home.”

“That’s not a long term problem.”

“Wilfully lying.”

“Dead. Lost in hostile territory.”

“Knowing is my job.”

“That is a gross understatement.”

“I’ve no idea what to feel right now.”

“Dragged down by unsavoury associations.”

“I do not do liabilities.”

This pre Smartphone show asks how well you really know your friends. Tyler (Logan Marshall-Green of ’Prometheus’ and ’The Invitation’) and Jay (Matthew Bomer of ‘White Collar’, ‘Chuck’ and ‘Magic Mike’) are prime suspects in the bombing of an art museum. They do sustained shouting. Flashbacks show how just the day before 3 Yale Grad School students - Jay, Tyler and Will Traveler (Aaron Stanford of ‘Nikita’, ‘12 Monkeys’ and ‘The Hills Have Eyes’) went on a road trip. They were BFFS.

Will is always filming them with his video camera. But for what? It’s never said. None of them have social media. Will dislikes Jay’s boring galpal Kim. Jay has $80,000 in student loans and likes to workout shirtless. Will suggested pulling a prank in the Drexler art museum which is obviously a famous NY art museum with a fake name.

Wouldn’t Jay be clerking or interning during the summer if he wanted a job at a major law firm? Jay and Tyler roller blade around the Drexler. The network did this show no favours as they cut the ep number from 13 to 8 and didn’t promote it. Which is a shame as it is excellent. The show didn’t get a DVD release and isn’t on Netflix. The prank is precipitous as there is a betrayal no one saw coming. Jay rings Will after the prank. The question is: why did Will answer? Then the Drexler blows up via a bad VX bomb.

Did Will do it? The personal art collection of POTUS Shears on display was targeted. Jay and Tyler are shocked that all Will’s belongings are missing from their hotel room. This was excellent and exhilarating. Will, Tyler and Jay have been friends for 2 years. But did they ever really know him? FBI agents including Steven Culp and Viola Davis hunt Jay and Tyler. Will is an intense presence in flashbacks. Jay and Tyler try to convince people it’s a dreadful mistake, but it’s an impossible challenge. No one listens or believes.

Will is described as 5 foot 10. He is not. This ep was astoundingly successful. It’s a shame the show got low ratings when it aired. Tyler’s rich father (William Sadler) tries to help them. Or does he? Is Will dastardly? The museum’s security footage was destroyed in the bombing so there is no footage of Will. Tyler’s dad is assertive. Why did Will have no fealty to his friends? Jay and Tyler are universally reviled on TV.

Tyler’s dad was disgraced in the past. It’s a stark atmosphere. Was Will a causative factor to the bombing? Jay and Tyler run ineptly. Jay’s father was disgraced in the past too. Jay wants to find Will to back up their unproven claims. Tyler and Jay face existential dread and a universally hostile reception. The hotel porter helps them for unclear reasons. This is grim material.

The Drexler prank was premised on faith in Will. It takes a while but Jay loses all faith in Will, Tyler lost his pretty quick. Jay is 26. For a graduate of Yale Law, Jay is not that bright. There’s no corroborating evidence that Will even exists. Jay recalls how he, Tyler and Will met and realises Will was playing them from Day 1. Were there only 3 of them in that huge student house?

Will stole Tyler’s car. Why does Tyler’s dad have an off the grid estate? Do they have cash or just the clothes they are standing up in? What is Tyler’s dad up to? Will set them up from Day 1, but why? Tyler and Jay don’t really like each other. Tyler’s dad was convicted in Iran-Contra and poor Jay is sad when his faith in Will is shattered. Oddly no cops are tracking Jay’s boring galpal Kim. Jay looks through Kim’s photo albums (she has no social media either) for a photo of Will. Not one of her photos has a shot of Will’s face. Not one. Will was very careful for 2 years. How long has this been planned?

Jay and Tyler are learning the deadly consequences of misplaced trust. This was utterly delightful. Boring Kim annoys. Jay broods over his cracked faith in Will. The FBI looks into the napalm bomb and find a body. Jay fears being sent to Gitmo. Why didn’t Will want Jay and Kim to date? Tyler is hit by a car driven by FBI agents. He walks it off. The hotel porter has secrets. Jay makes things worse. He and Tyler walk off being in a van wreck. The duo think Will is dead as they run. Who was the hotel porter? This was excellent.

Best Lines:
“Streaked this place back in 47 as a screw you to New York establishment.”

“Someone wants us to take the blame for this.”

“If we run, we look guilty.”
“It’s a little too late for that.”

“The east wing of New York’s oldest art museum is still burning.”

“You think Will framed us for this?”

“Slumming in grad housing.”

“Think law school grads could build this?”

“Will is a part of this.”

“What if everything he did and said was a lie?”

“I need to figure out who Will Traveler really is.”

“What the hell did I just see on TV?”

“If you’re on TV, it isn’t an accident.”

“Knew that something was going to happen today.”

The Enterprise Incident
Kirk seems to have a fractured psych. McCoy is acerbic. Kirk has no steely cool as they enter the Romulan Neutral Zone. Spock thinks the Romulans have a cloaking device. Cloaking devices were mentioned in ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ and the Romulans showed off their cloak in ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’. So why is the cloak a surprise to people? Kirk and Spock encounter the unnamed female Romulan Commander. She inspired much fanfic and appeared in a number of novels.

The Romulan Commander is fascinated by Spock. Kirk rages. Spock kills Kirk with the Vulcan Death Grip. McCoy sees this. Oddly ‘Amok Time’ is not brought up. Nurse Chapel gets hysterical. But in a 'twist' Kirk and Spock were playing spy games. When Kirk is on the Romulan ship, is he speaking Romulan? When he and McCoy were on trial in ‘Undiscovered Country’, they need translators. This was all exuberant irrationality.

Kirk is surgically altered to look Romulan and steals the cloaking device. This was all bitter absurdity. Kirk uses the term body-readings not life signs. This bored. What became of the 3 Romulans the Enterprise had in the brig?

Best Lines:
“Our forbearers had the same roots.”

“A truth here that remains unspoken.”

“Alien contraption.”
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017)
Make America bait again! A brat named Gil annoys. There are fake British accents. The heroes visit Stonehenge. There is a homage or two to classic UK horror movies. There are cameos and bad VFX. Olivia Newton-John and Chris Kattan star. Tara Reid can’t act. There are cameos. A ‘Z Nation’ actor is in this. Fabio plays the Pope. Everybody dies and the world is ruined by sharks and then a time travelling Gil (Dolph Lungren) shows up to fix things. This is all contrivances and coincidences that strains internal credibility. This was so so bad and widely abhorred.

Best Lines:
“Sharks ate my family.”

“I thought Nova retired after she rode the Eiffel Tower across the Atlantic.”

“World War Shark!”

“It’s coming! AGAIN!”

“Please do not confront, aggravate, fight, pet or feed the sharks.”

The Sentinel (1977)
I first heard of this movie when it was mentioned in ‘The Burbs’. Chris Sarandon, John Carradine, Jose Ferrer, Ava Gardener, Burgess Meredith, Sylvia Miles, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Walken, Beverly D’Angelo and Jerry Orbach star. Hideous 70s clothes are worn. This was based on a novel. Michael Winner directed, produced and co-wrote this. A model who can’t act has a boyfriend who wants her to conduct herself in a certain way and produce a certain result.

This was terrible and not genuinely terrifying. Unpersuasively weird things happen. The model recalls her father partaking in some kind of weird orgy which made her self harm. This is a miserable film about miserable people. There are tacky cufflinks and the heroine is a bimbo. A peacock falls into a swimming pool. Was it okay? Dialogue is mumbled. The model moves into a flat of her own and meets a nice neighbour with a bird and a cat. He seems nice. He isn’t. The model’s flat is dark and dated looking. It also does not have a phone.

She has containment of emotion and useless uncaring friends and weirdo neighbours. She and others have homophobia. The building is full of grotesques. This film is gruesomely misconceived. At one point a topless D’Angelo bangs cymbals together. The model whines about her neighbours. Move bitch! She’s then told she has NO neighbours. They don’t exist. There is bad ADR.

The model has a flat reaction to the revelation. She sees a cat eating a bird. Disparate and oblique things happen. The model’s lawyer boyfriend had a wife who died mysteriously, she was his mistress. The model has a history of instability. One is chronically unable to care. A cop (Walken) stands around sneering. A photographer (Goldblum) lurks. There is speculation and assumption. This is not a taunt tale of emotional endurance.

The model’s not beloved. People have undifference to her. This has no artistic edge. It’s a hostile environment for her. There is no faltering chill. This has tonal confusion and creative bewilderment. Nobody has legitimate concerns. There are dark legacies. This was risk adverse. People have plans for the model. There is bad acting which is liability. This is a tedious nightmare.

Tom Berenger shows up at the end. There is wooden acting and the impossibility of events is shrugged off. The model lacks fortitude. This was stupid, stupid and falls into a tawdry abyss. A flat is an entrance to hell. There are great and terrible powers. The model hates the cat. Bitch. The lawyer is damned to eternal hell for having his wife murdered. This was ridiculous. The model ends up in a bad way. What was this all for? Who is the realtor? What was the point?

Best Lines:
“Blind? Well then, what does he look at?”

“Here birdy.”

“The bottle is wrong again!”

“You have an ill-effect on your women.”

“Invent murder theories.”

“Print boys.”

“I’ve rejected Christ.”

“Congregation disbanded and the church torn down.”

“Pleasure in wickedness.”

“She went to a party with 8 dead murderers?”
“Doesn’t everybody?”

“She’s a recluse.”

“Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.”

Summer Camp (2015)
Americans go to work at a Spanish summer school. Bad things happen. This. Makes. No. Sense. Negative effects make people resentment personified. A mad mountain man pees on a truck. He’s part of a gang of hippies or something. A well is busted. Unsubtitled Spanish is spoken. There is a petting farm. The character’s have the ability to be tiresome and repellent at the same time. There is talking about phone global packages. A dog is rabid or something.

Is this tied into ‘Rec’? Will the stupid camp counsellors SHUT UP? These characters are morons. People attack each other. Will the hysterical rich bitch die? DIE BITCH! They’re not under unwavering pressure. The rich bitch purposefuly misinterprets things. There is social unrest as the unaffected do violent resistance. The madness wears off. Poor Will the hero is abused by idiots and attacked with a drill. Another dumb bitch annoys. This is terrible.

It turns out the water is infected. Poor Will gets infected. Cue catastrophic consequences. Infections wear off again. People face grisly fates. This was nonsensical. People have misapplied confidence. This was appalling; let the self deluded yahoos die. The camp attendee kids show up and get soaked by the sprinklers and so everyone dies. The rich bitch is a bitch. This was piss poor.

Best Lines:
“I don’t want any problems this time.”

“This pollen, it’s everywhere. It wasn’t around last year.”

“We need to get out of here like, like now.”

“I hope you’re wrong.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have worn heels in the woods.”

“People do that kind of thing here?”

“We have to help him!”
“No we don’t!”

They Live (1988)
The late Roddy Piper stars in this John Carpenter ‘classic’ which is not very good. Keith David co-stars. Piper can’t act as the bum with a mullet who gets shirtless. The mad eyed Piper has whimsical charm. People question reality. This was not thoughtful and intricate. Piper wears plaid and stone washed denim. He stumbles across a resistance base. There is an unshakeable sense of dread but that doesn’t make this film good.

Piper is callow as uneasy things happen. This film is near universally beloved, but I found it boring. Piper’s about to make a discovery about the source of human misery and change the course of his life irrevocably. A tent city is smashed up. The resistance are beat down to stunned astonishment. Nothing is subtle. Sunglasses lets Piper see the aliens and their subliminal messages that rule humanity.

Piper punches and shoots aliens. He is not the best actor. There is a really really long hilarious fist fight between Piper and Keith David. There is bad acting. Aliens caused climate change. People shrug off the existence of alien life. Meg Foster plays a baddie. This film has a weird attitude to women. I did not like this.

Best Lines:
“Why do we worship greed?”

“They are turning our atmosphere into theirs.”

“They want benign indifference.”

“Weird stuff.”

“They Live We Sleep.”

“I don’t like this.”

“So you bastards die just like we do.”

“Keep us selfish.”

“We are their cattle. We are being bred for slavery.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Blackkkklansman’ TV spot

‘The Romanoffs’ trailer
People in the modern day believe they’re descended from the Russian imperial family. No.

Gluten free chicken fajitas - okay.
Gluten free turkey meatzza - okay.
Elderflower Rose Presse - nice.
Gluten free pitta bread - yum.

I hope to review ‘Killing Eve’.

I’d try beef dripping chips.

Who read ‘The Cement Garden’?

My ‘Sherlock’ fanfic and my ’Firefly’ review lost with PC.

Recall ‘Hangin’ With Mr Cooper’ or ‘Men In Trees’ or ‘Army Wives’?

What is nutella coffee?

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Clinical harm.”

“Bring the mostly confined Chela coffee, water, diet cola, pills and Bols liqueur all arranged carefully on a tray.”

“Unacceptable situation.”

“Culture of governance.”

“Passage of time can affect people’s loyalties.”

“May no longer be loving or a partner.”

“May not fear or need him now.”

“Wandering in and out of each other’s movies.”

“Ill-defined past.”

“No serious consequences.”

“Old enmities resurfaced.”

“Couldn’t believe people wasted garden space on ornamental shrubs.”

“Everyone always expects the worst from her.”

“Isn’t it a bit weird that she wasn’t thrown out after two or three days for bullying? Or trying to murder one of the teachers?”

“Long-held suspicions about how much or how little, her mother loved her.”

“Socialised to always be polite and not to be too demanding or to “cause a scene”,”

“Food appropriation.”

“King actors.”

“Marries a nice girl he met on the train.”

“Whirlwinds of choice.”

“Become so eaten up with its history that the future would forever be different versions of the past.”

“Insisted on being in cash before going on stage.”

“Criminally liable conspiracy.”

“Adding commentary and calling it context.”

“Don’t like to make a drama about it,”

“He’s fine when he’s not angry,”

“Lead certain high-ranking men to the pit of the damned. Yes, they will answer for it in hellfire.”

“Unused and unloved buildings.”

“To ask whether they had a valid case to sue their school for damages on the basis that the teacher did not cover the topic in class.”

“Confrontation adverse.”

“In circumstances never fully explained.”

“All the sense of a half chewed Twix.”

“Define by men.”

“Convinced that if anyone suspected we owned such a luxury item, we were bound to be burgled if not killed for it.”

“Cultural weight.”

“The nightmare stretching out in front of them and of generations to come.”

‘For The Love Of Spock’ Quotes:
“Very giving of approval.”

“Gay anguish.”

‘Tales From The Darkside’ Quote:
“People get killed for a subway token in this town.”

‘3News’ Quote:
“Manufactured crisis.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Demanding their destruction on the basis that they were inauthentic.”


“The need of a nation.”

“Took exception to the doorman’s attitude.”


“Contentious assertion.”

“Yacht rock.”

“Any museum that refuses to display, lend or dispose of a public work of art should have it confiscated.”

“Enforcing our presence on others long after our departure.”

“Stepping out with shopgirls on the sly.”

“Regarded herself as his intended.”

“The terrible omen is obvious.”

“Yammering in holes.”

“Self-abasing nudity.”

“Her career was subsequently derailed when a former boyfriend beheaded her stepfather.”

“Unbearably optimistic.”

“Hard men meet other hard men under circumstances of high stress, personal danger.”

“Claimed the review constitutes libel.”

‘Spoonbenders’ Quotes:
“The man’s football-hero good looks had been swallowed by age and carbohydrates.”

“Both married better than we deserved.”

“How had he lost all control of his house?”

“Do not install the internet!”


“This son of a bitch is your uncle? I hope to god you’re adopted.”

“Street tax.”

“She’s married.”
“Not wisely, and not well.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quote:
“Just salmonella and despair.”

“Real crisis for her career.”

“A commodity of fluctuating value.”

“Whose sexual attentions she has no choice but to endure."

“Her own volatile worth.”

“The past did not die just because we wanted it to.”

“Produces more and more about less and less.”

“Remain property, even in death.”

“Leave piles of defunct tech in their wake.”

“Image-hosting sites which are now obsolete.”

“He had stayed silent for almost 20 years.”

“Unwelcome endorsement.”

“Furious at the male attention she’s desperate to repel.”

“Without ever being assisted.”

“Social discovery.”

‘The 1980s: The Deadliest Decade’ Quote:
“Jobless, futureless.”

‘Terminator Genisys’ Quote:
“Exiles in time.”
Calibre (2018)
Two dude bros into rape jokes, drugs and irresponsibility go on a deer hunting trip to Scotland while having contempt for girlfriends and their unborn children. This terrible movie deserves unequivocal condemnation. This was not competent or unusual. The duo are not dignified or resolute. There are thick accents and the duo have no deep seated concerns about their behaviour. They and this film are all inadequacies.

The duo cause chaotic, lethal bedlam in the town. This has systemic failure. They pick avoidable fights and have a chilling effect on all around them. They pick up two women and act in deliberate and reckless fashion. The locals turn hostile. There is overt malice and aggression and grim conditions in this abysmal film.

They cause stabbing glares with their caustic air and intense negativity and dogged persistence in being irritating. There is mumbling and cruel and unnecessary things are done. The easily slighted locals are annoyed that one of the duo is on drugs and sharing them around. The duo do not respond to acts of love, mercy or remorse. They have no moral high ground and their personal truth is ugly.

Inevitably bad things happen. There is no foreboding. Interest is systematically undermined from 1 minute in. You can’t blame the terse locals for hating them. The duo should be debarred from Scotland for life and more or less are. There is no sincere regret, the brazen jerk duo cause anxiety. One of them shoots a child who was wandering near a deer during hunting season for some reason.

It’s the duo’s morbid duty to do nothing wise after this terrible accident. They shoot the child’s father to cover up the accident. Naturally this is poorly received. They are the aggressors. They don’t seem to have raised anxiety levels in this continual failure of a film. They cover up the deaths (badly) and only want to safeguard their own peace and stability.

The camera lingers on a sign for Ravens Fell Road, which isn’t important. The duo obviously haven’t seen ‘Very Bad Things’. They are wilful egotists of an unbending disposition who try to justify their unjustified acts. They say they wouldn’t do well in the yard. They ignore associated consequences and have total certainty that ignoring ethical considerations is okay. They’re malevolent and non-complaint and not reasonable or responsible.

There are ongoing hostilities which kick off. There are no positive, functioning relationships. Fractiousness is common. I intensely disliked this. Nobody acts in a responsible fashion. Self-indulgent rude twits say things when their opinions are not asked for. They’re also loud and hubristic. Things get stark and unkind with significant integrity issues. There is no proper respect.

Things go wrong for the duo and there is not a queue of people lining up to do them favours. What is the duo’s force of character that they keep doing stupid things? Nobody is non-judgemental or compassionate. The twit duo cause harm and aggravate factors by ongoing misconduct. The duo give themselves away and revenge is inflicted. Jack Lowden and Martin McCann starred in this crap.

Best Lines:
“It’s illegal for you to even use my gun.”

“We’re not burying people.”

“Maintain the order of things.”

“Nothing happened here.”

The Reef (2010)
This is a boring Australian movie based on true events. A group of friends are on a sailing holiday when the boat capsizes and they are dumped into shark infested water. A guy suggests they swim to an island. This leads to death and blood and a sad ending.

Best Line:
“I know what’s out there.”

Psycho II (1983)
It’s 22 years later and Norman Bates is coming home. Antony Perkins, Vera Miles, Robert Loggia, Meg Tilly of ‘Carmilla’ and Dennis Franz star in this boring film. This is not faithful to the book. Norman is judged restored to sanity and released. Mrs Loomis (Miles) is depicted as a shrill virago and termagant who hates him and wants him kept locked up. She comes up with a plan to drive him mad and send him back to the loony bin.

The inherently psychopathic Norman returns to the Bates Motel which is still standing along with the creepy house. Mrs Loomis has unremitting hostility for Norman who she treats with incivility. There is menacing uncertainty around Norman. The 1980s look like a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Norman befriends a waitress named Mary (Tilly) who is actually a honeypot sent by her mother Mrs Loomis.

This is a fiasco. Franz yells "loony" at Norman a lot before being killed. People make bad decisions. All people do is cause problems. This is not very very terrifying. This was not made with formidable intellect and is not the bleakest. Norman has no intellectual support. Nobody is taciturn. Does Norman have innate evilness? It seems so. Mrs Loomis used to be Lila Crane. She married her sister’s sloppy seconds. Her husband is now dead. And so are a lot of other people by this film’s end.

Mrs Loomis clarifies her purpose repeatedly and loudly. She puts her daughter Mary near a man she calls a serial killing loon as part of her evil plan. People dig up Norma. Norman never apologises or expresses regret for murdering people. There are questions about Norman’s maternity. Mrs Loomis has measured celerbrance of her crapulence and predeterming of Norman’s guilt.

This belated sequel is unsuccessful. There is significant violence. Norman has a propensity to be a lightening rod for incidents. There is destruction and diligence. Norman has a prowling presence. Mrs Loomis is volatile. Norman cracks up and the ending is disastrous. There are blatant acts of violence and aggression. I unequivocally condemn this. Norman is seen as having been under attack from hostile women (which he was). So Norman’s resolve is strengthened. There is no moral authority. There is no deep concern about Norman. The money shot at the end was on the VHS cover.

Best Lines:
“Mr wacko.”

“An adult motel.”

“Are you familiar with the Norman Bates case?”

“I’m not living for dead people.”

“I didn’t mean to.”
“Now that’s what Norman said 20 years ago. Only he was crazy, now what’s your excuse?”

“What do you expect us to live on? Hope?”

Alpha Dog (2006)
Bad true crime story.

Best Line:
“Stolen boy.”

The Zombie Diaries (2007)
This is a terrible low budget UK zombie movie in which people keep on going to investigate scary noises. There is bad acting and this makes no logical or narrative sense.

Best Line:
“There are strange dead things running around!”

Catwoman (2004)
No, this is a not a good tale of a superhero in an unforgiving reality.

For The Love Of Spock (2016)
Adam Nimoy made this movie about his father’s iconic character and the impact and burden of it. Leonard Nimoy died of COPD and this documentary is full of old clips, photos and footage. We see Nimoy mocking Shatner’s acting and we see original Chekov and he’s bald and fat and looks bad. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Serving fish tanks.”

“Fire almost the entire crew.”

“Treadmill to oblivion.”

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014)
The sequel nobody asked for sees zombies talking and the sole survivor of the first film is accused of killing everyone. He and the head zombies switch arms. Don’t ask how. A zombie walking into a church causes stained glass to bleed. This has derangement and bland tonality as the evil bunch of zombies get grimmer. There is vicious vengeance planned. An annoying kids dies. There are lots of ‘comedy’ deaths. American zombie hunters show up. Zombies drive a tank. Russian zombies show up. The ‘hero’ does something really stupid at the end.

Best Lines:
“Just waiting for a zombie outbreak to happen.”

“Go Iranian on him.”


“I don’t speak the language of Thor.”

Gone Missing (2013)
Daphne Zuniga stars as a mother whose daughter goes missing on holiday. The wilful brat annoys. This is not even mildly entertaining. People drink out of paper cups. Did somebody purposefully allow the disappearance to happen? Oh who cares. Everyone is a hateful idiot with intransigent hostility.

The Colony (2013)
An artificial weather system created a new ice age. So now it’s a post apoc new ice age and one of the last bastions of humanity is an underground base which seems to be a converted seed bank. A whining young man ignores sage advice. They have trouble with their livestock and another colony has gone silent. A rescue mission is sent. Bill Paxton and Laurence Fishburn star. This has bad VFX. This isn’t hilariously terrible just misguided. They learn there is a thawed area where the pack ice has melted and there is sun and soil but no seeds. A cannibal tribe attacks. Bill Paxton kills people and doesn’t listen to sense. In the end a tiny number of survivors with one can of seeds goes to look for the warm spot. What about the livestock?!? How did one character have white girl dreads in the post-apoc ice age?

Best Lines:
“We live in fear of the common cold. The last flu wiped out 20 people in less than a week.”

“A shotgun in one hand and a shovel in the other.”

“After we ate the horses and the dogs.”

“Define alive.”

“Somebody found them.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Valor’ 1x11 promo

‘Supergirl’ promo
This show wrecked Reign.

‘Bodyguard’ promo
Does she want to heighten fear and seize power?

Raspberry cider - nice.
Tried a whiskey and chocolate drink = yum.
Pink Lemonade Snapple - mmm.

A ‘Simpsons 2’ movie and a ‘Family Guy’ movie?

Who saw ‘Time After Time’ (1979)?

What is Turkic culture?

I recall a chocolate and almond ice cream in a clear plastic container that I loved when I was a kid.

They’re reviving ‘Designing Women’?

I want to try Fendi ice cream.

Gregory Peck’s grandson Ethan Peck is to play Spock in ‘Star Trek Discovery’?

I vaguely recall Winston’s Department store.

‘Bromwell High’ (2005) was not good.

What is seaweed butter or maple-balsamic dressing or meat radish or peanut omelette or Creole balls?

My ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ fanfic lost with PC.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Wilfully ignore my right.”

“Acts as the social hub for the village.”

“Default objective.”

“Foreign conspirators.”

“Under sexualised.”

“Presented a danger.”



“Outdated people.”

“She never made it, never will.”

“Became increasingly derelict.”

“Overstuffed sedentary pet.”

“We cannot leave as it’s far too much of a risk.”

“Love our home, but it can feel like a prison.”

“Unable to digest the idea that some people like their siblings, or have a positive, functioning relationship with them.”

“Conscious of how his behaviour would be perceived by others.”

“Deliberately tried to set myself apart from others.”

“Perceived dislike.”

“Wordless pleasure.”

“Disregarding information conveyed to it.”

“Deny incidents of proven fact.”

“Blew a coveted opportunity.”

“Resource complaints.”

‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“Nice floor isn’t it?”

“Some modern substance.”

“Heard you had to sell the castle.”

“Really flung it about.”

“Being horrible about her.”

“To the diplomatic wives.”

“Never a wife.”

“Very good sort of woman.”

“Don’t be so provoking.”

“You’re a bit of a failure.”

“Sex mad, the yanks.”

“The most hated student.”

“Generous with her favours.”

“All that cheap tinsel.”

“I wouldn’t dirty my blade with you.”

“There’s no suspicious circumstances here.”
“There could be.”

“Not without disgrace.”

“Against our code.”

“Stop now with honour.”

“Ours was a sad love.”

“I never paid her. Did you?”

“I shouldn’t care to have his conscience.”

“I’d like some service please.”

“Fear can be a terrible thing.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Falsifying the rules of succession.”

“Bypass our natural appetite control mechanism,”

“Many - and often expensive - marriages.”

“He doesn’t have an embracement gene.”

“Trying not to be alone a lot.”

“An assumption that something is going to happen.”

“Pointless person.”

“Masks distress and shame.”

“Accepted conversation.”


“Accept that this is what is happening to her.”

“Protect the mother’s dignity.”


“Shun discussion.”

“Cold stunning.”

“That healthy crap.”

“Nobody in their 20s or 30s had seen fresh food.”

“Food intelligence.”

“They often vomited up Portuguese men-of-war.”

“Robbed his family of its birthright.”

“Blame culture.”

“His mother had an affair with the milkman, Alan, whom she later married.”

“Confidence crisis.”

“Bestowed rights.”

“Refusing to apologise.”

“Having never been sighted before in the area.”

“Greed breeds greed.”

“Demonstration effect.”


“Archaic superstition.”


“Nostalgia for a world that doesn’t exist anymore.”

“Be careful what you do for a loaf of bread.”

“Felt alone and different.”

“Shut up and go into a corner.”

“I was living his dream and we both knew it.”

“Go-on-prove-it audience.”

“Tarnishing unit.”

“On the verge of dealing drugs.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Multiple calamity events.”

“Can’t turn the conversation in his favour.”

“Shut up woman.”

‘3News’ Quote:
“Moral compass may have changed.”

‘Arbella: England’s Lost Queen’ Quotes:
“Flattery loving.”

“Her pleas could not have gone unheard so easily.”

“Lives in greater dejection than ever.”

“Ready-made reputation for scurrility.”

“A determination to secure the punishment of certain persons.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Not doing anything with her life.”

“Don’t think much of him.”

“So you know you’re being hacked and you make a sex tape?”

“A complete liar.”

“Saw him with a gun aiming at their chickens.”

“Dark triad.”

“Troublemaking stuff.”

“Troublemaking people.”

‘Cleopatra: A Timewatch Guide’ Quotes:
“Siren of the Nile.”

“Strumpet’s fool.”

“That great woman.”

“Evil Eastern harlot.”

‘The Last Journey Of The Magna Carta King’ Quotes:
“A foreign prince stalking the land.”

“Our most disastrous king.”

‘The Eighties’ Quote:
“Paid political complainers.”

‘Star Trek’ Quotes:
“Vulcan has no moon Miss Uhura.”
“I’m not surprised.”



7 TV Reviews

Picnic At Hanging Rock 1x06
A teacher is abused by her creepy brother and amid the overacting, they die in a fire. Have Alfred and Mike run off together? This isn’t even worth considering. We see how Mrs Appleyard got her fake name. What is her real one? There are endless flashbacks. Sara is found dead. Sara’s guardian finally shows up. How did Sara die? Mrs Appleyard continues to awfulise things.

This was incontrovertibility terrible. Mrs Appleyard has suspicious and fearful feelings and learns the man she fled from, died before she even set foot in Australia. This isn’t even gratifyingly silly. This has no profound sadness. Miranda and her selfish gratification annoys. Irma was racist to Marion. Mike saw the four girls sleeping on the Rock? Why was Edith left behind? Where did they go? How did Irma get back? What happened to the teacher? They threw their corsets away and took off their clothes. Mrs Appleyard jumps off the Rock. Nothing is explained or makes sense. What is the big deal about a soap tin? What was the point of this? Why was this so bad?

Best Lines:
“Devil’s crucifix!”

“Too busy dying.”

“You got your name off a soap tin.”

“I told the wrong lie.”

Insatiable 1x03&1x04

Miss Bareback Buckaroo
Patty thinks she’s Bob’s soul mate. Bob packs his underwear in tissue paper. Patty is not thriving. There are bizarre utterances and misplaced beliefs. Coralee nags. She used to be teen trash. Patty has no ecosystem of support. She has a vital need to annoy. Bob’s mentor shows up. Patty watches the Miss Bareback Backaroo pageant. A contestant wears a lot of red sequins.

Bob’s nemesis stirs up hatred and has the meanest of motives. This is not seismic. Everyone has moral vacuity. Dixie drives a huge yellow truck of some kind. People have poisonous auras. People gleam with malice. Coralee wears trashy clothes and her trashy sister (Robin Tunney of ’The Craft’ and ’Prison Break’) shows up with her three children. Bob ignores his wife and demonstrates pageant walking.

Patty is unhealthily antagonistic and is incapable of decent living. This was not captivating or thought provoking and just banal. Bob causes irritation. Patty has bravado. There is horse crap. Bob is scathing. This is not an intricately drawn world that they inhabit. Evil Bob lurks. Patty is pliant to Bob. People sext. This does not sing darkly. Evil Bob gets his shirt off. There is a catfight. Patty drinks, isn’t she too young? There are shallow bitches and gunplay and crawfish eating. Bob’s evil mentor (Beverly D’Angelo) cackles.

Best Lines:
“Butt tape.”

“You hillbilly whore.”

“None of my bras fit.”

“How real pageant girls act.”

“Your coach is a diddler.”
“Alleged diddler.”


“Cousin Delilah decided to get re-virginised.”

“She and her crack babies.”

“Pacific rim child.”

“Napoleon bone your parts.”

“I would never say that.”
“You just did.”

“Eating a whole stick of butter in the dark.”

Magnolia hates pageants and quits. Bob plans a pageant. Coralee and Bob have a daughter? There is a gym called Gymacide. Patty doesn’t have rightful anger and ferocity. There is genuine cruelty. I feel waning commitment to this show. Patty’s mother shows up. Patty is of dubious lineage. Coralee is squeezed into spanx. Brick is busted for screwing the town shrew. Coralee sets up a service organisation.

Patty’s mom is a bitch. Nobody has familial duty. There is no incredible energy. Evil Bob resents his wife. Patty competes in her first pageant. Dixie’s mother is arrested for sleeping with Brick. Patty adds to her shame. Coralee shows how shallow and selfish and awful she is. Evil Bob and Ettamae lurk. Evil Bob is known as Hot Bob and Bob is Other Bob. This was okay. Evil Bob dances in tiny gold shorts in a Kylie homage. Patty enacts revenge on Coralee. I so do not care about these shrikes.

Best Lines:
“Since when do you care?”

“What dad?”

“Read a little low class.”

“Fake molesting me.”

“You had sex with the clown.”

“When is it my turn?”

“Patty’s mom is a disaster.”

“I left my bra in the park.”

“Smile pretty.”

“I’m your mom.”
“Could have fooled me.”

“The hickey goes here tattoo.”

“I was conceived in a blackout.”

“Not without my wiener-tacos.”

“4 hard, side of wet!”

“Own misguided alcoholic way.”

“You look really loose to me.”

“A bunch of bitches?”

“Ward of unwanted babies.”

“Anus face wife.”

“That’s a lot less creepy.”

“Found her in a ditch - beat that.”

“General groin area.”

Valor 1x09-1x12

Stay Frosty
Gallo shrugs off the grave nature of his idiocy. Nora makes sparrow faces. A foreseeable crisis is about to ensue due to the major implications of 1x01. A bad ass sniper who looks like Vin Diesel preens. Thea continues to be laughable. Gallo has no positive effect. Nora shrugged off her injury from 1x01. The POW feels he has the moral high ground. I am insatiably curious as to how this ends.

The evil influence of the warlord is felt. There is a flashback. Davis has the spirit of determination. The POW phones home. There is no stress reduction for Jess. Thea has intractability. Davis takes Nora and Gallo hostage. This promotes conversation and is a decisive factor. There are psychosexual difficulties.

How does Davis know Gallo and Nora’s names? Davis claims to have been framed and is in an antic state. There is death and this was okay. Thea is suspicious. Nora had a patch with her blood type printed on it on the arm of her uniform? David bequeaths a videotape. How did Davis’ sister get on base without being arrested or noticed?

Best Lines:
“My parents were big hippies.”

“Yes. Really.”

“Black Hawks have a fuel range of 600 nautical miles.”

“This community will not be forgiving.”

Gallo has a VCR? Nora confesses her insincerity to Ian. Thea is not benevolent. She’s ridiculous. Nora suffers stoically. Thea’s destructive arguments cause harm to be inflicted. Haskins is annoyed. Thea is punitive as she sneers contemptuously. Ian’s stoical resolution cracks. Gallo rages. Davis’ tape shows him babbling. Will Thea shut her fat mouth? Haskins and his wife brood. There is a reveal. This was good. Ian dumps Nora.

Best Line:
“Definition of tragic.”

Command & Control
Nora never told Ian she cheated on him with Gallo in 1x01. Gallo is smug about Ian and Nora’s breakup. He and Nora do not create possibilities. There are fictive solutions to the POW’s plight. Jess and her son are pariahs. The loyalty of Thea’s boss is questioned. Ian has ended up bitter toward Nora. No one cares. Poor Ian. Jess is broke. Nora is not regretful.

I HATE Gallo. It’s a shame this was axed. This show entertained. Jess gets blowback for breaking the continuing duty of confidentiality. Gallo whines about crisis decisions and how his interpretation of their experience is correct. The socially inept Gallo has strikingly obvious issues. Who is the primary enemy? Gallo shows off his unsuitability.

Ian moves on. I am enjoying this story of the social and emotional aspects of special ops life. This was okay. Gallo rubs his relationship with a dead woman in the face of the man he stole her from. Gallo is rude and abusive to Nora so she shags him. Gallo is B+ blood type as revealed by his uniform sleeve. I detest Gallo.

Best Lines:
“No fail mission.”

“Mission critical.”

“A history of travel to terrorist states.”

“If you’re in debt, you can lose your security clearance.”

Oscar Mike
They pray before the big rescue mission. Ian’s father died in the 1993 WTC attack. The POW is menaced. His captors have wifi. There is bad VFX. Nora and Gallo crash in Somalia, again. There is an underlit gunfight. Gallo’s shot. DIE! DIE! DIE! There is a twist regarding Olivia the translator. There is a reveal and a tiny dirty bomb. Olivia infiltrates. The warlord has a point. The POW kills the warlord. Nora and Gallo’s helicopter was shot down from the inside without anyone noticing. This was good.

Best Line:
“We don’t get another chance after this.”

Star Trek 2x25

Bread And Circuses
The Enterprise visits a planet which was previously visited by a stardrive vessel. What is that? Spock calls Kirk “Jim” and Kirk says the Academy has a 5th year, which it doesn't. The planet is Earth like. Kirk wears his bright green wraparound top. Uhura wears hoop earrings. TV does not exist in the ‘TOS’ era. The aliens speak English and adhere to the precepts of Ancient Rome. Why is McCoy so rude and abrasive? The Prime Directive is discussed.

An agrarian sect known as the Children Of The Sun opposes the Roman ways. There is a twist at the end of the ep regarding them which is the most memorable thing about this ep. The twist is that they don’t worship the sun but the son, the son of god. Which raises a whole lot of other questions, which they don’t dwell on.

The captain of the stardrive vessel turned on his crew and sent them to arena so he could live the good life in the Roman Empire. Spock says space academy not Starfleet Academy. The mean evil captain plans to send Kirk, Spock and McCoy to the gladiator fights. The Romans are not of virtuous disposition. This was not good. There is inveterate malice.

The evil captain is sneered at by Romans. He is evil with unusual stringency. He and the Romans are held in small account. Kirk is ill-pleased and makes little effort to hide his discontent. He must avert farther despair. There is fighting and no decency or respect. The evil captain is contemptible. I didn’t care.

Best Lines:
“No sign of atomic power as yet.”

“Treasonable disobedience by well treated, well protected intelligent slaves.”

“Arena slaves.”

“Ordered to please you.”

“No identification of self or mission. No interference with the social development of said planet.”
“No references to space or the fact that there are other worlds or more advanced civilizations.”

“Hodgkin’s law of parallel planet development.”

“Dangerous ideas of other ways.”

“Carry word of their existence elsewhere.”

“With strange ways.”

“I’m trying to thank you, you pointy-eared hobgoblin.”

“Rome had no sun worshippers.”

“Your first three world wars.”

“The 37 million who died in your 3rd.”

“Caesar and Christ. They had them both.”

“It’s the son of god.”

Gotham 4x19

To Our Deaths And Beyond
There are emotional responses and malicious purposes as Barbara can’t lead her ninja death cult. Gotham is not a meritocracy. Selina and Bruce hang out. TPTB have inexpiably ceased trying for quality. The League has sinister ways. Bruce overacts. Ra’s Al Ghul rises again. Lee and Riddler rob banks in this dreary ep. Ed bores. There is no sweeping grandeur. Lee snots.

Barbara tantrums. Bruce offers Selina no respect. A glowy emblem of power is fought over. People have distracted stares. This ep is unviable. Things sour. Bruce has a lack of concern. This steps over the line of plausibility. Penguin prances. Ed invariably bores.  There is ominous foreshadowing.

Best Lines:
“Try it zombie boy.”

“Ruled empires.”

“Stabby stab.”

“I can’t make a joke?”
“That’s what that was?”

“You don’t look like a guy that got shot 4 times.”

“To our deaths and beyond.”

“A cataclysmic event soon to befall this city.”

“Dark knight of Gotham.”

Shades Of Blue 3x07

Straight Through The Heart
The cliffhanger is resolved weakly. Jlo has several inches of bronzer on her face. People are unreasonable. Stahl tries to frame Harlee for the hooker’s murder. Harlee has a defiant tone and she and Woz and Tess are haemorrhaging goodwill. Reputations are toughly trashed. Harlee’s inescapably associated with corruption. There is no moral clarity. People are criticised and vilified. This was not compelling. One is impervious to their antics.

Nobody is amenable. This was venal. There are pointless provocations. Woz is an expostulating foghorn. Harlee doesn’t do quiet. There is a twist and Harlee turns a blowtorch on someone. Woz collapses. Tess is tempted. Nate is embarrassed by his dad. Where is the investigation into Pomp and his weird relationships? Why are people so stupid? There is moral peacocking. Stahl stalks. Tess is in massive debt. Hostility is palpable. This was quite unpleasant and has no raw logic. Nate’s fed up. So am I.

Best Lines:
“Only 2 still like us?”

“Stop making enemies.”

“My salary’s been decimated.”

“Reliable behaviour forecasts.”

“Buys me some sympathy.”

“You sound like a mobster dad.”

“That casefile is sealed.”

“Don’t hold back.”

Quantico 3x12

Harry rants and makes it all about him. There is bad VFX as a plane crashes and they have to bail out. The plane crashed south of Dublin so does that mean it landed on Wicklow? The team land in a graveyard full of a ruined church, a round tower, mist and old Celtic gravestones. FFS! Did nobody notice the plane crashing and people bailing out? Alex doesn’t trust the Irish authorities and neither does Ryan. They drive a van which has the steering wheel on the wrong side. They drive around Dublin and find a payphone. Owen walks off being shot. A thatched cottage is seen in one scene.

Where are Will and Dayana? Gardai wave guns. There are bad Irish accents. This actually filmed in Ireland so why are the accents so bad? A horse is brushed. All the Irish are either corrupt or criminal. People show up like transatlantic flights are instantaneous. Harry’s selfish. The gang hang around the Long Library in Trinity College. A TV mogul shows up. The gang fake bad Irish accents.

The major criminal is allowed to walk around Ireland unbothered. WTF? There is sex trafficking and an obvious betrayal. The FBI busts up the sex trafficking ring and where are the Irish authorities during all this? Nobody hears guns being fired? Alex gets into lingerie and makes out with some random co-worker. Meanwhile her former man-candy is in peril. This was TERRIBLE and racist.

Best Line:
“Run the docks, they run the bars, they run the clubs.”
Give Me Your Hand by Megan Abbott
From the author of ‘You Will Know Me’, ‘The Fever’, ‘Dare Me’ and ‘The End Of Everything’ comes this tale of a broken friendship, secrets, perilous workplace rivalry and a woman who regards everyone with intense suspicion. One had huge expectations for this but it was boring. You don’t care about the character’s emotional worries or relentless self importance. I don’t care about a certain character’s capability and intent. One needs forbearance to finish this. It is way too similar to the movie ‘Thoroughbreds’.

Best Lines:
“The truth can’t be poison.”

“What has gone wrong in my life.”

“I want people like you banished from my world.”

A Demon In Silver: Book One Of War Of The Archons by R.S. Ford
This is a badly written terrible fantasy novel. How did this get off the slush pile?
A Gray State (2017)
This unedifying documentary centres on David Crowley who was a not especially likeable conspiracy theorist who wanted to make a movie about government misbehaviour. He was obsessed with a government shutdown and spiralled into madness and killed his family and himself. While this documentary sounded like an intriguing notion, this tries too much for heaviness. The documentary makers leave out some unnerving information about the death scene.

Why were hard-drives daisy chained together? Some question the finding that the Crowley family deaths were murder/suicide. This documentary tells Crowley’s grim story to the bitter end. He strummed on a guitar and had bathetic lows. This documentary has no real intellectual curiosity and it is not boisterous. He was in the military and ranted about a lack of fairness and Christian decency. He seemed to lack patience and forbearance.

There is some confusion over his wife’s religion. Crowley seemed to have made some misjudged choices and forced his wife along for the ride. They had a daughter and both seemed to develop obvious mental health issues. This documentary is not a sensational achievement. People argue over the deaths but no information on the deaths or crime scene is given. There was a succession of incidents that showed Crowley seemed to have PTSD.

This is an obvious failure. People have wounded regret and appropriate their story. Why did Crowley’s wife Komel give up cake decorating when she was good at it? Crowley was obsessed with his movie which seemed to be only a concept trailer and not a real script. Crowley seemed to have regular fits of pique. Some people say he is being maligned in death. Did he have pointless ambition? Who can tell in this documentary that isn’t engaging or nuanced.

Crowley pined pathetically. This documentary is downright ridiculous. There was something maniacal and destructive and fearsome about Crowley who had a distain for authority. His 5 year old daughter said some disturbing things. The movie Crowley wanted to make had a tagline: by consent or conquest. What does that mean? Crowley seemed to be an icon of the conspiracy nutters. But his fame was bought at an enormous cost.

Crowley was erratic and stubborn and seemed incapable of reasoned thought. His movie was built on shams. Crowley claimed veterans like himself were being watched. He seemed odious. The sheer ambition of his project made him morally suspect, he seemed a repulsive obscenity and morally suspect. Crowley was unaware and unconcerned with sense. Why didn’t Komel have friends or leave the house? There is insufficient reward for watching this. Crowley seemed to have an unexpected for evil, he was deranged and rambled.

This was not engaging. Crowley thought he had genius and was unduly unassuming. Crowley appeared preposterous, had obvious black melancholy and incredible inefficiency and paralysing inertia. Was he an abuser? It seems likely. Crowley was cynical and seemed indolent and pretty smug. Crowley got upset with fans whilst his life was a spiralling horror show. Komel was passively pleasant. Crowley had an erosion of morality and was a catastrophic liability.

The family developed weird religious beliefs. This documentary was not powerful or immensely moving. And it was not sincere or persuasive. There is no winning weirdness. Crowley was not endearingly reckless. He was macho pseudiness. This was not vivid. Crowley spoke bitterly and was abhorrent. Crowley seemed to become increasingly disruptive and violent. Komel seemed trapped in a folie a deux with him. Someone says they went Sid and Nancy. This is a blunt conclusion, indifferently received.

Crowley was not the teller of truth to power he thought he was. He was actually an acutely vapid seethingly hostile man. There were dark premonitions of his end. He didn’t have sincerity or idealism. He displayed aggression and was of dubious credibility and full of grave flaws. This unexceptional documentary was not insightful. It was a clunky tale of a duplicitous man whose ending was grimly inevitable because he wasn’t open and available to criticism.

Best Lines:
“Credibility means nothing to me.”

“Who wrote the blood?”

“Wrong territory.”

“Drives 17 hours from Texas.”

“A corrupt war.”

“Involuntarily held by the military for 15 months.”

“No one killed you.”

“Improbable dream.”

“This is what she knows.”

“Morally adrift.”

“Taking an adversarial position toward us.”

“I love the bitch in you.”

“Gone into your dark place again.”

My Father’s Shadow aka Death In The Shadows (1998)
Peter Strauss and Henry Czerny star in this true story based on the Sam Sheppard case. Lindsay Frost and John Colicos co-star. The arrogant cheating doctor (Strauss) claims an intruder beat his pregnant wife to death in what seems like a completely logical sequence of events, not.  Did he kill her or did an intruder really do it? The doctor claims he is innocent and years later his son (Czerny) tries to prove his father innocent. But it is more likely that Sam Sheppard did it.

It is long claimed the Sam Sheppard case inspired ’The Fugitive’ TV show and movie. Sheppard cheated constantly and keeps on being annoying even in jail. This TV movie seems deliberately absurdist. There are no believable human emotions. Strauss does his usual wild overacting. Sheppard shrugs off the raw accusation of murder. He ignores his son who was sent to military school. Sheppard was an awful jackass who causes agonies of revulsion. And that is before his conviction is over-turned and he gets out of jail and marries his prison pen pal.

He ignores his son to party with his new wife who was Magda Goebbels half sister. No, really. He actually did that. He was despicable and guilty as sin. He ignores and emotionally abuses his son who is inexplicably devoted to him. The father can only get a job as a pro-wrestler where he invented a new submission move. One wonders what else he used that move for. This was not good. The son blames someone else for his mother’s murder. Poor deluded man.

Best Line:
“Believe the unbelievable.”

Hangman (2015)
Jeremy Sisto stars in this found footage tale of home invaders who stalk and kill families. This was not audacious. You don’t care about the family being menaced by an external force. This was dubious and the stalker shows no inclination to mercy. One is morally and personally offended by this. It glorifies violence against women.

Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
Rutger Hauer stars in this 1970s style exploitation movie alongside Gregory Smith. Who ever would have guessed that out of the ‘Everwood’ cast; Chris Pratt would be the big star? A hobo (Hauer) comes to a city full of scum and crime and divisiveness. There is overacting and a crime lord who rules the city with his 2 thuggish sons (one of whom is Smith).

There is blood and Slick (Smith) gets battered by the hobo kicking off a series of violent retaliations. The street trash continues to do the right thing but gets no thanks. The hobo befriends a friendly hooker. Finally the hobo cracks up and grabs a shotgun that he never seems to reload. Blood flies as he shoots thieves, a pimp and a guy who organises bum fights. And he’s only getting started.

People do drugs and can’t be non-contentious. Slick incinerates a school bus full of children with a flame-thrower to the tune of Disco Inferno. A newsreader is killed live on air with an ice skate. Slick has a hostile reaction to the hobo and wilfully does bad things. Slick gets homeless people including a baby killed. There is overacting and overwrought dialogue. The hobo offers obstruction to Slick and co.

The dialogue and storyline aren’t always plausible. This was all purposeless. There is no contained anger or high-minded rhetoric. The hobo expresses fury and frustration. There is gore and guns. The baddies are extremely hostile and shouty. There are no morals or values or social conscience. This was done with fervour. There are odd moral arguments.

This movie is full of terrifying anger and resentment. The corrosive effects of crime and demonic ambition are obvious. There are defiant statements. What is an appropriate response to this movie? There is indolence all round and this was not tantalising.

Best Lines:
“Mercy ain’t my style.”

“Selling your hole.”

“Go home to someone who loves you.”

“We’ve got homeless to kill.”

“I hate hobos!”

“My legs are closed for the night.”

“Make comic books out of my hate crimes.”

“I bet there’s not one human being in this town whose life you haven’t ruined.”

The Skull (1965)
Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee star in this. A relic of the infamous Marquis de Sade shows up. This bored and made no sense.
TPTB promised us a blended family faced with the onset of the zombie apocalypse. But instead they give us endless scenes of a whining junkie. This spin-off from ‘The Walking Dead’ isn’t better than the original. A junkie runs around with his shirt billowing open. Neither his life nor his dignity is important to him.

Kim Dickens, Cliff Curtis and Ruben Blades star in this. The junkie is the son of a pushover mother (Dickens). There are roiling tensions as the junkie is a jackass. There is no cold dread. The junkie is faux weary and has no shuddering shame. Instead the junkie has brain-frying entitlement and no sensitive tactful responses. The blended family has misleadingly mundane problems. The junkie is an enormously hostile and fundamentally selfish spiteful git.

Civil unrest brews. Nobody notices. The mother babies her son and his unrelenting cycle of drama. He’s not borderline tragic. Just a barely intelligent suppurating nest of resentment. One of the mother’s students goes on about a coming doom. She doesn’t listen being too obsessed with the catastrophic liability that is her junkie son. Why are we meant to care about him?

A grim situation is coming but we get endless scenes of the junkie. There is no brutal intensity and this is not vividly convincing. The mother doesn’t listen to sense as she is dumb and into always placating the junkie. This ep causes no tremendous enjoyment and there is a loss of anything resembling tension. This is not downright intriguing. Cultural change is coming as events defy scientific analysis.
Dramatic events unfold unnoticed as the whole blended family’s lives revolve around the junkie shooting up junk. The junkie doesn’t look like a junkie. Where are his track marks? Nobody retains their dignity. I don’t care about the junkie or his drama. He murders someone. The existence of zombies is dramatically exposed. This was not convincingly unearthly.

Best Lines:
“She’s not listening.”
“She heard you.”

“Something resembling love.”

“Remedial moron.”

“Something really bad happened there.”

Skinny Is Magic
Bob’s nickname was Blob in high school. Patty’s mother has abandoned her. Bob can’t follow the safer quieter path. Patty is wildly inappropriate and seeks emotional intimacy. Patty is emotionally deprived and socially isolated and desperate seeming. Brick is a jerk and Patty’s not popular. This was okay if not mega-good. Patty’s irked and has a harmful attitude. Bob keeps putting his own credibility and reputation on the line.

Patty has no social cachet. Evil Bob shows off his man-boobs. Bob's wife is weird. Patty’s BBF has a cop for a father. Homeless guy was in a fire. Patty now fancies Christian. Evil Bob is the DA and he has a ferocious ambition to annoy people. Bob’s wife has ingenuity. The Miss American Lady pageant is mentioned.

Brick is boffing the adult woman who maliciously accused Bob. Magnolia is mean to Patty and she has no moral judgement. Neither does anyone else. This ep does not elevate thought. Patty has unresolved sorrows in this unrefined ep.

Best Lines:
“Caring for a cause alliance.”


“Motorboated by homeless guys.”

“Punching the clown.”

“Murdering arsonist.”

“Cos it was preggers when I drilled it. Unfortunately you can’t wall-mount a bear foetus.”

Blurred Lines
Will the POW ever be retrieved? Sebastian Roche of ‘Odyssey 5’ guest stars as an arms dealer. The leak of classified info is not morale boosting. The gang are in Ethiopia. Why is Thea there? Ethiopia looks like Canada and or Georgia. Thea is a jackass and Gallo is awful, he and Nora have shrugged off their shattering intimacy.

‘A Few Good Men’ is ripped off. Nora gets judgemental. Gallo gets sexually triumphant with Thea. Nora has a habit of sleeping with her CO’s. Ian used to be her CO. Gallo gets drunk and belligerent. Another domino pops up. There is a reveal. Gallo’s irked and this ep was not ingenious.

Best Line:
“Beat your ass.”

The prisoner from 1x01 is not a nice man at all. Gallo is in disgrace until he pulls a stunt to get out of it. Gallo is a jerk. The prisoner’s name is Davis Goundry. The FBI shows up. Nora lies. Nora and Gallo seem to forget she shot a CIA agent in 1x01. Gallo has bloody minded persistence. Jess is bothered. There is no moral certainty. Nora went to rehab in Germany? When?

There is a fake news mention. There is an attempted assault. The POW faces a challenge. Davis makes claims. Ian sees Nora as his moral equal. Thea is AWOL, again. Gallo is the unit victim advocate?!?!? What is restricted or unrestricted? Where is Jess’ son?
There is not one mention of the POTUS’ name. What is an unrestricted report? Haskins says Gallo has PTSD to explain his jackassery. 6 years ago Gallo wasn’t a pilot. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“I’m gonna hurt you if you try.”

“He forgives more easily than I do.”

“You know what it took to get here?”

“We are not trying to be subtle.”


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