Sergio Balleseros

Evil 2x08+UFO 1x04+Clickbait 1x07+Supergirl 6x15+Grimm 2x01&2x01+Departure 1x05&1x06+La Brea 1x05

T Is For Temporoparietal Lobes

Kristen's feckless husband is home. Things get weird. There is talk of the god helmet. Michael Esper of 'Shades Of Blue' guest stars. Ben hallcinates. Leland lurks. Kristen screams and punches a man. Her own choices led her there. Kristen hallcinates. Her husband starts putting his foot down. This was dire.

Best Lines:

“I need sex.”

“Reflect on what you want your life to be.”

“You beat up a man at the supermarket!”


Straker looks at everyone with dislike. Straker feels it his social responsibility to fioght aliens. Straker and co want to be the local tough guys. Space debris creates deadly threats. The end credits are the best thing about this. Straker is dressed like a priest. A gammon fights Straker.

Aliens devise evil and the gammon has connivance. Silver tinfoil outfits are worn. This was empty and shallow and the irresponsible gammon has less endearing traits. Straker is laceratingly cruel and insensitive. Grievances, undoing and unfaith happen. Knobs and buttons are seen on model space ships. There is irreparable injury.

Staker looks askance. The gammon wears a fleshtone poloneck. Straker is paranoid. This was an utter inability to not be crap. The gammon plots Straker's ruin. There are calumnies and furious outbursts in this puerile ep. Paul annoys and there are many disputatious men. This was boring and full of calumny.

Best Lines:

“Hazard potential.”

“I realise the implications.”

“When you can still give orders.”

“Earth orbit insertion.”

“Inter-orbital flights.”


The Son

Nick's sons pay the price for his crap. An increasingly bitter dispute delivers. There is no integrity or good reputation. There are negative headlines in this unsatisfactory ep. This causes frustration. Why are Pia and the awful MIL always in Sophie's house? Pia talks about a catfisher. There are rumours. Pia goes on about her father's death. We get no respite from her.

Is all this a carefully considered attack? Sophie is excluded. Is there anything worth fighting for? People are incurious. There is no bated breath. Nick caused an unacceptable scandal. There are no very sad days. This does not reverberate. This was intolerable. There is no acceptance.

The family tree is swarming with snakes. A vicious miserable liar is out there. Emma is AWOL. School is angry, hateful and divisive. Nobody is compassionate or empthetic. Sophie faces being fired. People are cruel. Deeply illogical harmful choices are made.

Cops don't listen. This was not significant. People understandably wonder. This was a narrative of decline. This show is an anomaly. Things get weird. This was not poignant or uplifting. Nobody is thoughtful. Nobody is nice or upbeat. Fear is stoked.

Sophie orders Pia to get lost. A furore unfolds. There is angry rhetoric. Sophie castigates everyone. The family are discredited and crisis ridden. There is a major challenge.There is bullying and harrassment which is ignored. This show has significant problems. This show is bizarre and full of harmful behaviour.

There is harassment and Pia is pervasive. Real concerns are brushed off. This was totally deluded. Pia is reprimanded. There is no credibility or trust restored. It is difficult to care. There is exploitative conduct. One stares with disbelief at this painfully slow mess. People take alarming stances. There is no covid just needless distress.

There are adverse reactions. This has no terrifying impact. Pia's friend shows up again. Why is this a personalised attack? Nobody is courteous, patient or efficient. This was unambiguously stupid. Things are at an impasse. Retribution is promised. Nobody is honest or insightful. People are disenchanted or dissonant. There is no mature rhetoric. There is no honest engagement.

There are dodgy characters up to seediness. This was horrible. There is adversity and grimness and doddering idiots. Emma shows up to whine. There is no sincere effort or stark reality. Relationships are distorted. There is no discernment. It is an inevitably fraught time.

Pia has a living nightmare. There is slander and the police are indifferent. Pia is aggrieved. This was not tremendously interesting or satisfying or delightful. This was outlandish. There is no motivation to care. Horrifying events and scandal mongering take place. Suddenly Nick was a paragon of family values. There is malice and Pia is desperate and a man takes pleasure in this crapulence.

Pia is harsh and dramatic. There is a continuation and escalation. Sophie makes plans. There is profound trauma. Emma lied. There is inadequacy and people are angry and irritated and impatient. Things get chaotic. There is catfishing gibberish and the cop is useless. Things are utterly miserable. Pia does trauma inducing things.

Best Lines:

“Anchovy butter.”

“Shameful family secret.”

Hope For Tomorrow

Are Helen Slater and Dean Cain are persona non grata on this show? Alex fosters a moppet. Why does Kara get no storylines on her own show? Do TPTB dislike women? William bores. Get off my tv you tool! Peace talks go bad. Andrea is awful. What happened to her superpower? William is in peril, but not enough.

There are author tracts about the free press. US reporters are really up themselves. Supergirl recreates ''The Quest For Peace'. The baddie gets a gift. This sucked.

Best Lines:

“You're horrible!”

“So help!”

“This is what lies ahead of us.”

Bad Teeth/The Kiss

A terrible secret that has been kept since the Crusades matters somehow. Nick's grim faced mother lurks. Nick's bimbo is in a coma. Renard lurks. James Frain shows up. There are terrible life choices. Elizabeth Tulloch plays the coma bint. Characters point out the whole plot does not make sense. FBI dickheads annoy.

Best Lines:

“How did he die?”



Kendra's kicked off the case due to AJ. Kendra is attacked. There is a twist and a reveal. This bored.

Best Line:

“You suprised I use the NHS?”

End Game

The black box is examined. The spy falls down some stairs and dies. The truth is revealed and a rich git exposed. AJ gets away with his crap. This bored. There is a big twist.

Best Lines:

“Some accidents should not be investigated.”

“This man is clearly deranged.”

The Fort

The idiots stomp around a mystery fort. Levi is looking for people who fell into a previous sinkhole. The mystery tribe speak English. The drug dealer annoys. This was boring. The sisters aren't sisters. Eve annoys, she's shrill and bad. A message in a bottle is found. What is the point of the one legged sister? She's useless. The portal is closing.

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Dynasty promo

“My family's poor choices.”

'Widows' promo


'American Crime Story' 3x09 promo


'The Unforgivable' trailer

Sandra Bullock goes for that Oscar.

'Departure' season 2 promo

Kendra looks into a bizarre train crash.

'Dynasty' season 4 opening credits

Grant Show! Nice opening credits.

'Fracture' promo


'The Deep House' trailer

A house in a lake is haunted. Mmmmm.

'The Motive' trailer

A dubbed account of a boy who killed his family.

Best Line:

“Find a motive that was normal.”

M&S Bleeding Brain – nice.

M&S creepy chocolate lollipop – nice.

There's champagne vinegar?

What are the BBC doing with 'The Goes Wrong Show'?

I'd try Norwegian cheese.

What's saffron water? Or walnut water?

I'm tired of cold and unfeeling people. I was abandoned. My ex = silence and no further contact. My ex caused immeasurable pain. I feel bitter regret. My ex could haver made a different decision. He disregards me.

'BBC News' Quotes:

“Close to crisis.”

“Smoking gear.”

“Empire stands accused.”

'Hollyoaks' Quote:

“Spell infestation!”

'Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives' Quotes:

“Persian things.”

“Real deal Iranian.”

“Viking soul food.”

“Troll Hunter stew.”

“The wing scene.”

“Chick N Beer.”


“Fry batter.”

“Double fry.”

'Channel 4 News' Quotes:

“Coral IVF.”

“Coral spawning event.”

“Self declared head of state.”

“Of any consequence.”

“Time for apologies has long gone.”

“Do not fail us again.”

'Sky News' Quotes:

“Civic integrity.”

“Ports Action.”

“Subjects of interest.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Incentivises hateful.”

“Lifetime of memories.”

“Conveyed his dislike of the diminishing landed gentry class that once held a measure of power and influence.”

“Proclaim your non-existence?”


“Doomed heroics.”

“Hygiene was an undiscovered science.”

“Nobody of influence cared to notice or mention it.”

“Fear of episcopal anger.”

“No grounds for complaint.”



“Perpetual uncertainty.”

'BBC News' Quotes:

“Personal viewing.”

“Horrific number.”

“What could have been?”

“Until they are listened to.”

'Eleanor Of Aquitaine' Quote:

“Forks (unknown in the West).”

''allo allo'' Quotes:

“Secret nooky.”

“A pissy up a tree?”

'Virgin Media News' Quotes:

“Gun incident.”

“Behaviour complaints.”


Watched 1x01 of the JJ Abrams documentary 'UFO': there is talk of AATIP. There is much talk about the Phoenix Lights. There was ridicule of an investigator. A governor mocked people.

Best Lines:

“The Black Vault.”

“Demanding answers.”

“Pretty darn interested.”

“Real life 'X Files' department.”

“Life from somewhere else.”

“That movie from the 1990s.”

“Weird happenings.”

“Considered to be crazy.”

“Acting with duplicity.”

“I'm not high.”

“Known infamously.”

“Opportunities that were lost.”

“Creation of discourse.”

“Intervene in human history.”

“Didn't behave like anything from this Earth.”


Movie Reviews: National Lampoon's Vacation + Hypnotic (2021)

National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)

The ur film. Chevy Chase and Beverly D'angelo star in this Harold Ramis film. Randy Quaid costars with Anthony Michael Hall, John Candy, Eugene Levy, Christie Brinkley, Jane Krakowski and John Diehl.

The theme song is sung by Lindsey Buckingham. John Hughes wrote this. Clark is dim and his son Russ (Hall) would grow up to have his own sequel. Station wagons are driven, horrible clothes are worn and D'Angelo has Farrah hair. The family cross country trip goes awry. There is a dated computer and this was not very funny. At the end their destiantion is closed so Clark gets a gun. Okay then. This was not imminence. This was weak and the least remarkable.

Best Lines:

“Nothing worthwhile is easy.”


Hypnotic (2021)

Jason O'Mara plays a morally bankrupt shrink. Things get disingenuous and tendentious. There is irritaiton and loathing and unintended consequences. This causes near apathy. Nobody has the best of motives and the 'heroine' is a disaster. There is no stability. She mourns the dissolution of her relationship. This was almost self parodying.

There is hypnosis and no rationale in this lamentable movie. There are wanton acts and this will not win praise. There is a lack of concern and even curiosity. This was uninteresting. There are bizarre actions and dull suprise acting. It comes down to 'Hill House' woman v 'Terra Nova' guy. There are adverse effects.

The 'heroine' does not change her number or stay away from the loony shrink. The ending is OTT. A bad wig is worn.

Best Lines:

“I had a bottle of wine. But I drank it.”

“Perfect at everything.”

“Let the world wrong us.”

“Get in the way of your dreams.”

“You're isolating. You're employed. Don't pretend that you're not.”

Sergio Balleseros

UFO 1x03 + The Spanish Princess 2x06&2x07 Reviewed 👽👾👎👎👎👑👑👑👑👑🍼🚼

The Cat With 10 Lives

You can see how this show informed 'Captain Scarlet'. The aliens are genocidal. Is a gotterdammerung coming? This show has a wildly incoherent town. This show has suffocating limitations. This is not grand or awe-inspiring or earnest or solemn or majestic or reassuring. This is a tediously laboured wearying glut of abysmally poor dreck. This is implausible with no resonce, gravity, reverence or sense of occasion.

Desperately ugly clothes are worn. There is tin earred dialogue. A man has increased resentment. Aliens are demonised and Straker is defied. This was not astonishing or deeply resonant or unforgettable. Moonbase is seen. There is no eloquence. This was not lyrical or evocative. There is fallibility, a disposable wife and a seething man.

This leaves you singulary unimpressed. The aliens have a mysterious unspoken past. There is no palpable horror. There is no narrative immediacy or remarkable insight. A man despairs and this was disastrous. There are no throughly decent people. This was dreadful. A man faces difficulties and is impossible. People played a 'ouija' game. There are reckless idiots and this was not significant. There is no evidence of an inner life. This was manic. Events are not extraordinary. This was not plaintive. There is not impeccable just woefully bad.

Less and less admirable things are done in this disastrous ep. There is no idealism and no cultural ramifications. Idiots cavort. There are misconceptions and a cat and assumptions and a UFO on a string. A man yells and people can't pronounce UFO properly. This was preposterous. A man drones on interminably in this absurd ep that is full of malaise, indignity and humilation. People are duped to their dismay. There is stock footage and fractious times and more manic behaviour.

There is a cruel and inhuman act. This was not uncanny. There is talk of a Venus probe. There is an unmanageable situation. TPTB are blithely unaware of logic. This was all tedium and insanity and irreverent, mundane crap. There is talk of the aliens being energy beings. This was not unnerving.

There are faux naifs and bridge bunnies and this was not a deadly serious prestige melodrama. This was convoluted daftness with garbled exposition and nihilism. This was not hefty. There is no palpable substance. This was not endearing. There are cliches and ostensibly ridiculous travails.

This was not endearing and it had no melacholy allure. This wasnot desperately moving. There is no unique emotional heft. This was unbelievable. There is grim matter of factness. This was not ingenious or pacy. There is grimness and the plot is opaque. There is no brilliance. There are wannabe weird nightmarish images. This was not utterly charming just slow witted and all around useless.

This was not uproarious. The plot leaves you completely perplexed. This was po faced and people stare meditatively. The plot was disjointed and not engrossing. This was hokum. This was vacillating and ignominious and not riveting. This was flubbed and not captivating. The poor cat.

Best Lines:

“Get nervous.”

“New face cream.”

“Don't talk about those things.”

“Foul tobacco.”

“Wrong body tissue group.”

“Shatter all our past theories.”

Field Of The Cloth Of Gold

Princess Mary is to be married, Catherine whines, Maggie Pole lurks. Margaret's husband is provoked. Charles and his fake chin shows up. Henry and the French king wrestle. Rosa shows up with 3 children. Margaret's husband takes all her possessions as by law they are his. There is anti foreigner rioting. This bored. Margaret shows off her janky teeth. 🦷🦷🦷

Best Lines:

“Know god's order.”

“Desist your letters.”

“Don't say such things not even to me.”

“Douglas demon.”


Catherine is pregnant again, Henry has said this is her final chance and Lutherns are arrested. Margaret is plotted against by Catherine. Margaret screams demands. Henry whines. Catherine miscarries yet again. Stafford is arrested and gets the 🪓. Maggie sees a bloodsoaked rack that More keeps in his HOUSE. Lina reveals her greatest secret. This bored. 🔪🍴🍴 Lina's husband has to pay the axeman for Stafford whose head bounces across the hay-less stand and lands at Wolsey's feet ☹😵☹😵.

Best Lines:

“Immoral motive.”

“Why must I waste my love on them?”

“Street thug.”

“Looks for his favour.”

“This is a different England.”

“Printed upon London presses.”

“The hideous poison spreads.”

“Shut her bleat.”

“Damn her soul.”

“See the new peacocks.”

“Go back to your bog ridden country!”

“I have the king's love again!”


Trailers, Quotes & Stuff

'Amityville Horror House' promo


'A Ghost Ruined My Life' promo


Mint maltesers bites – okay.

Cuban dark chocolate with delicate orange – medicore.

Venezuelan milk chocolate with sea salt – nice.

I thought my ex was loving and kind. But he was egregious. My ex had ineptitude. My relationship dissipated without warning.


Who saw 'A Private Function'?

Mater semper certa est.

I'd try raw Irish wildflower honey infused with dried chilli flakes and poitin. I'd try honey pecan sauce and vanilla bean bourbon bacon moon pie and apple pie funnel cake.

I want watefall earrings in white gold, south sea pearls and diamonds. And I want an energy ring in gold, sapphire, tsavorites and diamonds. I want a Bordeaux mock-croc zipped tote and a sway tan tote.

WTF is vegan whipped cream? Or low country cooking? Or super sweet white corn? What's a Hawaiian bun? What's Frnech cracked pepper?

There is smoked trout and bacon guac?

'RTE News' Quote:
“Demand control.”

'The Celts' Quotes:

“It's own image of civilization.”

“Very different heritage.”

“Within his own lifetime.”

“Angry big men.”

“Defeat was total.”

“National mythology.”

“Remote and hostile lands.”

“King makers.”

“Keepers of secret knowledge.”

“Shared belief.”

“Remarkably elusive.”

“Deep into prehistory.”

“Fleshed bog body.”

“Bogs were sacred places.”

“Right to be wary.”

“Lurid stories.”

“Put an end to them.”

'The Sunday Times' QuoteS:

“Still forgets to invite the people from Over There.”

“Who wants to met new people.”

“The happiness we'd known in the valleys as kids was disappearing.”

“Anti-Welsh stuff, journalists questioning our motives.”

“The kids cleaned their teeth in the river.”

“Unremarkable at school”

“The kid that nobody remembered.”

“I was just there.”

“Snow and ice cut them off for weeks at a time.”

“Bare earthing.”

“Teeth for meat.”

“Challenging and difficult.”

“Social reality.”

“Ruinous consequences.”

“Bringing chaos, inury and death.”

“Fomenting the animosity.”

“Massively negative turning point.”

“They knew how to study...”

“Lack of concern for rules and regulations.”

“Saying horrible things.”

“Nasty, bitter people.”

“People disappointed in your choices.”

"Disapproved of her every move.”

“I have no choice.”


“Treated appallingly.”

“Very traumatising experience.”

“Exceeding all human understanding.”

“Try to make it sound like you wrote it that way on purpose,”

“Necromancy cults.”

“Vitriolic feuding.”

“Mega-dysfuncitonal family.”

“Bitter recriminations.”

“Righteous indignaiton.”

“Irate locals.”


“Bringers of light and elemental creators.”

“Perpetually angry 1990s journalist, set on attack mode.”

“Shorn of its function.”

“The universities that friends and relatives attend, but never seem to return from.”

“Unspoken rules.”

“Bullying and hectoring.”

“Fights a one-man war against the 20th century.”

“Become petulantly jealous of the Prince Of Wales's much greater popularity.”

“Deadly pestilence.”

“I love – and love – by no rules but my own.”

“Leave when love has gone.”

“Desperately trying to get us to like him,”

“Drowning in an ocean of their own false mythology.”

“High-thong bikinis.”

“Grossly unflattering clothing.”

“Gorn orf.”

“Brilliantly observed down to the last detail-”

“In dispute with the literary establishment for years.”

“Looked bad – really bad.”

“Concern and contention.”

“Scrutiny and vilification.”


“Cultural historian.”

“Might respond unfavourably.”

“My job was just to fight the crackheads to keep them out of the shot”,

“Beset by problems.”

“Never strayed far from the national consciousness.”

“Widespread acclaim.”

“Media personality.”

“Chronically dysfunctional.”

“Dire warnings.”

“Foreigners who claim they can't speak it are probably lying or not worth talking to.”

“Certain acrimony.”

“Into this sanctuary few outsiders are permitted.”

“Feared and laothed.”

“Personal integrity.”

“Absurd notion.”

“Establish rapport.”

“Self-imposed isolation.”

'The Crimes That Changed Us' Quotes:

“National fervour.”

“Time of joy for the world.”

''allo allo'' Quote:

“Carpet chewing house painter.”

'Who The Hell Did I Marry' Quotes:

“Horrifying certainity.”

“Really mean horrible person.”

'Man V Food' Quote:


'Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives' Quote:

“No carb world.”

'Business Post Magazine' Quotes:

“She's so square that it's viewed as a cultural statement.”

“Dismiss an opportunity.”

“Uneventful conclusion.”

“Singularly unexciting.”

“Turned in despair.”

“Renewed hope.”

“A grim discovery.”

“Tolerated in the home of a rich widow.”


“Melancholy air of decline.”

“Grim legacy.”

“Malignant presence.”

“Like Dallas on cocaine.”

'The Man Who Painted Ireland' Quotes:

“Dignified rememberance.”

“Something to come.”

'The Irish Times' Quotes:

“Fanatical obsession.”

“Spiteful fears.”

“No regret in the matter.”

“Under restricted access.”

“136 generations after Adam.”


“Severed ties of trust.”

“Long-since defunct department.”

'Mr Mayor' Quote:

“Why are you like this?”

Vintage Dolls House With Furniture Barton Claremont Chalet 1980 For Sale in  Portarlington, Offaly from luzrDolls House in the form of Holiday flats 1980's English Stock Photo - Alamy

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Scary Books

Movie Reviews: A World Without + The Descent (2005) + Hawk The Slayer ⚔⚔⚔

A World Without (2021)

This is an Indonesian sci-fi about a cult. Girls join a cult facing a cauldron of change and possibility. All their drama is a yawn. This was not stark and haunting. There is hardly a new insight in this. The girls become disillusioned. This was not discomfiting. Ugly and rotten things happen in this nonsense. The cult is nasty and unpleasant. They don't escape their insecurities. There are weddings and massive malignancy and eternal damnation is feared. There is talk of a pandemic and pollution. They want out of The Light cult. People are irresponsible. There is no clarity.

Best Lines:

“Era as uncertain as this.”

“2 fated souls.”

“Nothing to complain about.”

“I totally understand how you feel esteemed leader.”

“Jealous brat.”

The Descent (2005)

There is grimness and depravity but no safety concerns as 6 women go spelunking and become trapped under the earth. They make super unsafe choices and the cave is a styrofoam set. This UK horror was directed by Neil Marshall before he went off the rails.

There is no risk assessing. The deeply worrying situation is made worse by the ignoring of obvious danger signs. Things go awry. Natalie Mendoza plays the intransigent Juno. This leaves you unconvinced. Juno caused family disruption and re-traumatiisng. Bones are found and adversarial CHUDS attack. There is a larder and a bleak ending

Horror Movie Review: The Descent (2005) - Games, Brrraaains & A  Head-Banging Life

Hawk The Slayer (1980)

Bad stuff happens in this UK fantasy that mocked by 'Spaced'. This makes no sense. There is synth music and bad acting. Patrick Magee, Roy Kinnear, Patrica Quinn, W. Morgan Sheppard, Bernard Bresslaw and Jack Palance star. The cast is full of idiotic clods and fake fog. This was rubbish.

Best Lines:

“Pay for the death of my village.”

“Foul arts.”

“Speak then misshapen one!”

“This is the moment of my revenge.”

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Book Review: The Estuary

The Estuary by Derek Gunn

This 2009 'horror' opens with a Nazi named after 'allo allo' characters plotting on a u-boat. This is set in Ireland in a town called Whitehead. The smoking ban hasn't come in yet. A spy broods and there are bizarre geopolitics, bad writing and wildly unrealistic dialogue.

The Nazi u-boat is found buried. Idiots go inside and release a zomnbie making Nazi chemical weapon, no really. The word clique is misspelled. Face eating zombies attack. There is no Aldi or Lidl. There is only one mention of the fact that the Irish police are called Garda.

The 'Irish military' show up. There is exposition, lots of exposition. The author is unaware of show not tell. There is no wider threat. There is violent turmoil and violent lunatics. This was unreadable then and now.

Best Lines:

“Mean-mannered git.”

“First I nearly battered his door down and then I barged my way in and threatened I'd steal his car if he didn't help.”

“Mad axe murderer.”

“Wondered what they had done to deserve such a bleak future.”

“The zom...sickos.”


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Movie Review: Found (2021)

A documentary about 3 adopted girls who learn they are cousins. This tale of Chinese adoptions is not poignant. The 3 are trying to find out who they are. This was not profoundly affecting. There is detachment and this was not potent. The teens are infuriating and this was not searing. There is no veracity. One girl has jaw issues.

There is talk of mean spirited gender disappointment. Girls are oft maligned and unwanted in China. This was not plausible and not profound. There is no empaty and this was a total failure. There are blunders and no necessity. This was not witty or tragic.

This was blithe and the 3 are disabused of notions. This was utterly abysmal and dysfunctional. There is no integrity or honour. There is talk of desperate parents and birth parents are checked. There are assumptions and vocal fry is prevalent. There is negative information. Things are vague. There is waning interest and troubled relationships.

Gender disappointment is inherent. There are conflicting accounts. There is no credence. This was unnecessary and empty sounding. There are disproportionate reactions. There is no accountability.

Best Lines:

“Sent so far away.”

“Matching room in China.”

“No ties to me.”

“Left in a box near a busy street.”

“Do the DNA on her.”

“Act so white.”

“15 1st cousins.”

“Our real parents.”

“Ancestery tours.”

“Pet a panda?”

“I was found on a bench.”

“Tour people.”

“Coil checks.”

“Life of the daughter you gave away.”

“Just pushed me.”

“Know you're not welcome.”

“Wrong gender.”

“Didn't want me when I was born.”

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