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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Bitch’ trailer
A wife and mother overwhelmed by her nightmare family undergoes a change. This looks good.

Best Lines:
There’s a dog watching me.”

“I don’t have any underwear or socks.”

“We’re going to be homeless and we’re going to get diseases and die!”

‘Big Business’ (1988) promo

Turkey meatzzas - nice.
La Guinette Armagnac - okay.
Gluten free bacon & cheese puff pastry tart - okay.

I won’t read ‘The King’s Test’ or ‘The Pretender’ novels or ‘This Secret We’re Keeping’.

I will review ‘Tales From A Talking Board’, ‘Until The Twelfth Of Never’, ‘Ancient Images’, ‘Wolves At The Door’, ‘The Family Plot’, ‘Girls Made Of Snow and Glass’, ‘Haunted Nights’, ’Devil’s Moon’ and ‘The Witches’.

Where is the 2017 TV show ‘Picnic At Hanging Rock’?

There is to be an ‘In The Name Of The Rose’ TV show?

RIP Roy Dotrice.

Will there be a ‘Star Trek 4’?

Stephen King’s short story ‘N’ is to be filmed?

Was Detective Kemper on ‘Deadly Lessons’ (1983) named after real-life co-ed killer Ed Kemper?

Who saw ‘A Very British Coup’?

Who saw ‘Circle Of Friends’ (1995) or ‘A Good Year’ (2006)?

I’ve never tried Wagyu.

Recall the 2000 Concorde crash?

‘Den Of Geek’ Quote:
“Had any right to make public the revelations he unearthed.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Use false logic.”

“Behave in a reasonable manner so your reputation is steady and good.”

“Will need good friends and supporters.”

“Deliberately causing you to be an outsider.”

“Victim mode.”

“Key to your community acceptance.”

“Unquestioned adhere to the assumptions underpinning it.”

“Observational jurisdiction.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Farting cockles and clams.”


“The vulnerability narrative.”

“Their voices won’t be heard and their views won’t be understood.”

“Cultural denigration.”

“Anti-harassment structures.”

“Problematic platform.”

“Tremendously stroppy and likes an argument.”

“Celebrity opt-out.”

“Motivated by fame.”

“Shock merchant.”

“Religiously inauthentic.”

“It’s like the zombie apocalypse out there.”

“When do we start looting?”

“Urban disorder.”

“Rotted in the soil.”

“Big-Name Acclaimed Acting Chops.”

“Peak of British cultural discourse.”

“Property guard.”



“Shakespeare made most of his money from the oyster concession at the Globe.”

“You’re not the sort of girl I need to take to dinner,”

“No independent measure of talent can possibly exist.”

“Auditory memory.”

“Erupt in frustration.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“I endorse this tirade.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Failing in their ethical responsibilities.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“That business, now decimated.”
Picnic At Hanging Rock: The Director’s Cut (1975)
This recut is still a slow moving Oz horror about a mysterious vanishing at Hanging Rock in 1990. This is based on the good Joan Lindsay novel. This is slow moving with staring, eerie photography and this made director Peter Weir. This was very ethereal with nice music. Is Hanging Rock a genius loci? There is bad ADR as fat girl Edith whines. There is more staring.

Anne-Louise Lambert is Miranda who is one of the 3 students and 1 teacher who go missing at the Rock. Lambert is apparently bitter about her role. Albert a local servant is played by John Jarratt who went on to star in ‘Rogue’, ‘Needle’ and ‘Wolf Creek’. There is mumbling by a vaguely pervy and fey posh bloke. This was all wistful and oddly weary. Yet it is all amusingly unthreatening and it is not dauntingly bleak.

People are all self-sabotage and existential conundrums and this film is uneven and boring. There’s uncertainty and nature is menacingly emphasised. Miranda had cool charisma and there are anxious interludes as people miss her more than anyone else. The ending is grimly inevitable. This film is lacklustre. The narrative unspools in negating fashion and it is slow, wooden and unnatural.
There is no sense of dread. Inexplicable, morbid things happen and there are no moral issues. I feel eye-rolling derision for this. People have dumbfounded anger at Irma, who is the sole survivor, she’s poorly regarded. The servant (Albert) and his long lost sister Sarah are never reunited as she is yet another schoolgirl who comes to a bad end.

Best Lines:
“Writes poetry! In the dunnie!”

“Bloody abo tracker.”

House Of Darkness (2016)
This Lifetime ‘horror’ has no visual panache. A family move to the countryside, they have issues. They want each other’s needs never to be a burden. This is not satisfactory. The kid is snotty, the film’s minor ambitions aren’t met and the house has a malign influence. The insufferable wife is a ‘massage therapist’ and she has no romantic connection with her hate filled husband who is into table sanding. This was dismal and the husband judges and appraises his wife.

There is bad line delivery and the wife has unacceptable passivity in the face of her ruinously jealous husband, who sees her as morally questionable. There is no trust and dignity just video logs, paranoia and moral panic. This was devoid of interest. One quickly gets bored of the family and their unrelenting negativity, anger and judgement.

Best Lines:
“Reclaimed wood.”

“Country people aren’t weird.”

“Made us pie.”

National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985)

Big Business (1988)
Mirth free crap.

Book Review: The Bone Key, part 3

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette, part 3

Elegy For A Demon Lover
An inept tale of perfidy, passion, anger and calamitous love. This was unedifying and devoid of emotion.

Best Line:
“His love would infallibly kill me,”

The Wall Of Clouds
The hero has an attack of ‘illness’ and ends up in a convalescent home where people die a lot, a fact which is routinely ignored. This was ill-though through and wilfully un-ingratiating. The plot doesn’t cohere.

Best Lines:
“With execrable judgement.”

“No way in which I could enjoy myself less,”

“Face down in the lily pond?”
“She might have done it herself.”

“Hellborn brat.”

The Green Glass Paperweight
Our hero returns to the house where he was treated as a nuisance by his guardians and learns how his pure violent rage at his tormentors led to a heartening payoff.

Best Lines:
“They did not trust my silence.”

“Abyssal wrath.”

Listening To Bone
A revenant follows the hero. This was an okay tale of fateful consequences.

Best Line:
“See the lunatic out.”

House Of Cards Season 5, part 3 Review

Chapter 60
Rich men in hoods in the woods plot to rule the world, or rather the USA. There’s no underlying tension. The furious contestation for the White House goes on. Underwood relies on deceit and chance. He and Claire have irreconcilable aspirations. Claire has petulance. There is no triumphalisitc narrative as things are messy and contentious. There are no civilised interactions. One is not emotionally immersed. Tom thinks he is exuberantly honest. Tusk shows up again, he seems content with life. Men talk intently. Petrov bores. There is mumbling. Mark switches sides. Will’s personally revealing rant is to be made public. There is no acclaim for this ep.

Best Lines:
“The latter I will be again.”

“I’d rather not.”

“This won’t end well for him.”

Chapter 61
Will has been destabilised and abandoned and has lost the election, which he actually won. There is no social cohesion. Will has failed expectations and can’t present what is thought of as good behaviour. A reporter annoys. Petrov bores. Mark is an Underwood lackey now. There is unsubtle commentary on real life POTUS Trump. Underwood gets it on with his personal trainer. Yawn.

Best Lines:
“That’s all I wanted. That’s what I was promised.”

“Because what you thought you wanted is now here.”

Chapter 62
I don’t know what is going on or why. Underwood ignores that his wellbeing is always conditional on Claire. Yates bores. Underwood is uncompromisingly horrible and avaricious and incapable of rational activity. LeAnn is out. Nothing is revelatory. Nothing makes sense. Underwood thinks he is unassailable. Nobody has thoughtful looks in their eyes. Underwood takes his mutually understood dominance for granted. Doug harasses Lisa. Tom has undimmed hostility for Underwood. There is disproportionate attention paid to Jane, Doug, Petrov, LeAnn and Aiden as well as an abiding refusal to entertain. Seasons 1, 2 and 4 were more obviously fun. Walker rants and gets revenge, sorta.

Best Lines:
“Terrible terrible people.”

“Don’t do I don’t know.”

Book Review: The Bone Key, part 2

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette, part 2

The Bone Key
In this mediocre tale, the hero is profoundly disaffected when he faces the ghastly prospect of encountering long lost family members. His family have a disinterest in interacting healthily with one another. This was dispiriting as the family are thrillingly immune to disapproval of any kind being self-admiring joyful sinners. The hero is so damn annoying and one cares not for his familial disgruntlement and his relatives’ panto menace. This was pitifully twee.

Wait For Me
This is a good tale of a ghost, stubborn entitlement and festering thoughts.

Best Line:
“Assuming odiously and loudly for years.”

Drowning Palmer
This is a tale of a school haunting and of people who are horribly anguished and of people have disowned their responsibility. This is a tale of a grave injustice, an irrational and violent act and the morally imperfect meting out ill-treatment with dickheadery. This is a good tale with no moral absolution.

Best Lines:
“Dark-purposed conspiracy.”

“Whatever I was supposed to be doing, it was not here and it was not this.”

The Inheritance Of Barnabas Wilcox
This is a tale of a will, a shattering event, conspiratorial servants, stark horror and people left with no recourse. This was horrible brilliance.

The Family 1x04 Review

Feathers Or Steel
The creeper has an overblown sense of his own capabilities and no sense. He has grievances. John the husband whines. Grant Show shows up as a politician. The vile reporter is vile. The creeper continues to seethe over his own poor choices and disowns his responsibility. TPTB have a weird message: sex offenders are to be pitied and abused children are not to be trusted. The creeper deserves to be viciously pilloried. Danny is understandably unpopular. The narrative direction of this show makes no sense. It is not a heart wrenching uneasy drama. The creeper is on about unfairness. The perv's wife somehow fails to notice the sex dungeon in his shed. Nina lies. Nobody is reasoned. This does not leave one riven.


Dead Snow (2009)
Ein! Zwei! Die!
In this Norwegian horror it is morons v the living dead Nazi bastard zombies. You did Nazi this coming! This violates the accepted canons of good taste and crap Norwegian music plays. The characters are Nordic carriers of liberal values and cause clenched frustration as they are unendurable and cause a deadening atmosphere that leaves viewers abject and desperate at their stupidity and vapidity.

This was pestiferous. The characters have inner emptiness and are not loveable idiots. A man mistreats a woman, nobody does anything. This film is pretty rubbish leaving aside the bad subtitles. The characters are all low-level unpleasantness, irrelevantly absorbed in themselves. 14 minutes in and the zombies who harbour evil intentions haven’t emerged with brutal force to do gleefully malicious things.

The characters are emotionally non-reactive and have totally irrational behaviour. There is causal sexism and a harbinger of doom shows up. The characters are comically aghast at the harbinger. He sighs at their awful eejitry. The characters are med students. Yeah, right. They’re tarred by a reputation for selfishness and are undiscerning. There are unpleasant consequences for the poor harbinger.

The wrongness of their life choices are apparent. 30 minutes in and still no zombies. The characters are greedy with no concern for a missing woman, there are no real emotional interactions and this leaves one distinctly unimpressed. They have moral bankruptcy. This was all inadequacy. An annoying fat bloke annoys. Why is it suddenly night and then suddenly daylight? There is large scale disorder and calm and composure are not valued.

A man bites a zombie. There is bad fight choreography. The general euphoria is soured. There is no assistance and this is not a mesmerising portrayal of zombies. This was badly edited, laughable and deplorable. A ‘heroine’ is a bird killer. Bitch. Someone gets a machine gun from somewhere. This was pathetically fallacious and unspectacular and dispiriting and it leaves the audience uninvolved. Combating zombies is futile. This was all confected shock and manufactured excitement.

Best Lines:
“How many films start with a group of friends on a trip to a cabin with no phone signal?”

“Events have occurred here.”

“I’m carrying a shotgun!”

“It sounds like you’ve smoked your underpants.”

Freedom (2017)
A documentary about George Michael. No.

Hot Shots (1991)

Hot Shots: Part Deux (1993)

Demon Knight (1995)

The Frighteners (1996)

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Stranger Things Season 2’ trailer
What is out there? Bad hair, photos, synth music, staring, Winona Ryder, guns, a catapult and Sean Astin. Mmmm.

‘Arrow’ 6x02 promo
Oliver lies, again.

‘The New Mutants’ trailer
This X-Men spin-off looks okay. People are locked up, there is an evil washing machine and faces in the walls.

Best Line:
“All of you are dangerous.”

‘Dead Snow’ trailers
Nazi zombies are larky! Allegedly!

‘Sorority Row’ trailer
“She’s rotting in a mineshaft!”

‘From Within’ trailer

‘Parasomnia’ trailer

Raspberry Ganache - yum.
Mango & Passion fruit - yum.
Red cheese - okay.

Anyone see ‘Assault Of The Killer Bimbos’?

There is to be a ‘Roswell’ reboot?

Who saw ‘Mickey Blue Eyes’ (1999)?

Recall the TV show ‘Cluedo’?

Guerra a muerte - war to the death.

Toddler tresses are a thing?

Who is the king of self-defeat? A failure at pretty much everything who leaves doors open, won’t recycle, whines and complains, obsesses over shopping bags and heavy breathes? A jackass that’s who. A jackass who shrugs off storm warnings and throws away steak and whines. Nobody cares about his rack of lamb! What sort of idiot waves around a frying pan full of boiling oil? He does! Who whines about papers? Who is not a claming presence? Who whines about helping a woman’s disabled son? Who waves candles around?

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“I’m forcing them to listen.”

“I wasn’t prepared for the silence or the staring.”

“Not going to be as good as people think you should be.”

“Right posh?”

“Bout ye?”

“Of minor reputation.”

“Stories families tell themselves-”

“Still unsure what success looked like.”

“The bedrock of the British repertory.”

“Constantly in dispute.”

“Wrought with sound judgement and rigorous prose.”

“Key defensive attributes.”

“A clique she cannot join unless she wears a certain type of jumper or retweets a particular opinion.”

“A highly curated set of views and principles,”

“Throwback-themed products.”

‘Aertel’ Quote:
“Have defensive means.”

‘Sunday Independent’ Quotes:
“Even madder than he already was.”

“Very public love life.”

“Regularly generates such bad press.”

“His subsequent career failed to live up to that early promise.”

“Continuity of care.”

“The end of his useful life.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Making decisions that were highly original and occasionally disastrous.”

“Officially prescribed national taste.”

“Duly extracted.”

‘Russia With Simon Reeve’ Quotes:
“Tough blokes.”

“Cold tough reputation.”

‘Dark States’ Quotes:
“There’s consequences.”

“Not going to be pleasant about it.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Populate or perish.”


“Aroma of perversion.”

“It’s about what you look like and who sent you.”

“Lying, cheating, taking advantage, acting like a thug.”

“Trump getting into the Oval Office instead of Hillary.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“A dad band.”

“Erotic response.”

“Feeling very discarded.”

“Voice banking.”

“Avoid any sense of discipline.”

“Enlist friends to throw burger bags over the gates of his Mulholland Drive estate.”

“Wasn’t known for his restraint.”

“Too great a catastrophe for the full facts to be made public.”

“Damaging image.”

“Held working class people in distain.”

“Churning out lies about me and my family.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Baddest storm.”

‘Upstart Crow’ Quotes:




“Satanic conclusion.”



“Tufting muffle.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“Did you belong in the psych ward three times?”
One Dark Throne by Kendare Blake
This sequel to ‘Three Dark Crowns’ sees the 3 rival moany sisters have more familial discord and purposeful alienation as the quest to be the Queen Crowned leads to emotional harm, pathological dislike and erratic and unreasonable acts. This is a good tale of outlandish peril and inherent evil in a forbidding fairytale place.

The world building is only ever vaguely explained and people act ungallantly. There is no emotional realness in this good bleak story of cold cruelty. It’s not relentlessly realistic but it is a cold and quiet enjoyable story. Why does the island’s hierarchy have such an implacable nature since time immemorial? What are the social impacts? What is the wider world like outside the social isolation of the island? This isn’t complex and challenging but I look forward to books 3&4.

I do not care for the author’s pet Jules, who actively chooses to annoy. What’ll be the unforeseen consequences of the Queen Crowned? This is a fairytale that seems alien and threatening and instinctively perilous.

The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan.

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette, part 1
This 2007 anthology collects creepy stories. It was reprinted in 2011 with a new cover and intro. I however have the 2007 version.

Brining Helen Back
I’ve read this before in ‘New Cthulhu’. This is a tale of necromancy, quaint naffness, growing enmity, challenging circumstances and sexual pull. This was okay and has conspicuous misery and abundant weirdness and a grim ending.

Best Line:
“If there is another copy, let is moulder to dust wherever it lies.”

The Venebretti Necklace
It is unclear exactly when these tales take place. The past? Today? This is an okay tale of entombment and frenzied possessiveness.

Best Line:
“I’d say the word diavolo is a bad sign.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Riverdale’ 2x02 promo
Archie cracks up, Jughead worries and Betty bothers. Mmm.

‘Castle Rock’ teaser
Noise, stuff drips down stairs, staring, fire, a creepy house, tunnels, staring, darkness, jumping, a jail and a dog. No.

‘Designated Survivor’ 2x04 promo
Oh Alex’s mom is bad. That’s a surprise.

Best Line:
Can’t treat our neighbours as enemies.”

‘American Horror Story’ 7x07 promo
More cultish goings on. There is ominiousnss.

‘Star Trek Discovery’ 1x05 promo
Klingons, a revolving hull and a creature.

Best Line:
“Glory must be earned.”

‘Z Nation’ 4x03 promo
Murphy is human, Warren is blonde and 10k broods. There are more garish narratives.

‘Below The Surface’ promo

‘My Little Pony: The Movie’ TV spot

Happy Death Day’ TV spot

‘Strike Back’ promo
This is still on and its had another reboot?

‘House of Darkness’ trailer
Looks like an ‘Insidious’ knockoff.

Pistachio Ganache - no.
Dulce de leche - okay.
Feuiletine - okay.
Gluten free turkey feast on seeded bread - okay.
Hazelnut praline bar - okay.
Mint truffle bar - yum.
Gluten free Christmas pudding - yum.

I will review ‘Candyman’, ‘The Bone Key’, ‘Dead Snow’ and ‘Anno Dracula: One Thousand Monsters’.

I won’t review ‘The Woman Who Stole My Life’, ‘The Crow Garden’, ‘The Playroom’, ‘Heaven’ or ‘The Force Doth Awaken’.

A ‘Legends Of Tomorrow’ cast change. No surprise.

How was ‘Mr Mercedes’ renewed?

What is caramelised cream or goat’s curd?

I’ve been on the London Eye, great view.

I wish I’d seen the ‘Blood Swept Land’ and ‘Seas of Red’ installations.

Anyone been to Southcentre mall in Calgary? It had 2 bookstores I loved. They're gone now.

Recall the 1996 ‘Sliders’ ep ‘In Dino Veritas’?

Anyone see ‘The Virgin Spring’ (1960) or ‘Baise-Moi’ (2000)?

Recall ‘Bergerac’?

Who else read ‘Ballet Shoes’ or ‘White Boots’?

What is a duck press?

Who berates people and whines and is ungrateful and deliberately refuses to recycle? Who shouts at night when people try to sleep, stacks the dishwasher badly and moans and whines? Who whines about the placement of the fridge? Shouts when people try to sleep and claims to be an expert cook? A jackass.

The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Make me feel far more unwelcome.”

“Regularly pick fights.”

“Wrecking the place.”

“Proved to be utterly wrong.”

“A Central Park, where there is no park.”

“This public revelation seems to go unnoticed.”

“Cocoon themselves from all interruptions.”

“Deal with altercations.”

“Participants in bigger stories we can only guess at.”

“Defending no homesteads.”

“Noble cause corruption.”

“Possibly not quite as stupid as his resentful friends claimed he was.”

“Elicit something resembling a truism.”

“Likes his certain things in certain ways.”

“Women are theirs in some way.”

“There will be repercussions if you think and behave that way.”

“How the frequent interview gaffes have affected public opinion of her.”

“No one is going to care or believe me.”

“Claimed they are being sneered at.”

“Medically attributable.”

“Characteristic acuity.”

“Was not to visit any pubs.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Cold contagion.”

“A strong predictor of poor intelligence.”

“Put rubbish where it belongs, on unfenced waste ground.”

“Cheap, rough and ready for change.”

“Frowned on if they stood up for themselves.”

“Security training.”

“Eternally misrepresented.”

“Immediate association of them with strippers.”

“Boggling statement.”

“In any accepted definition of the condition.”

“Gracious speech.”

“There’s nothing I like about you.”

“Other people’s parents wouldn’t let me come over when I was a kid.”

“Vomiting of truths.”

“No one’s talking about him in song that way now.”


“Grimacey mannerisms.”

“Requires significant political will.”

“A fierce act of sexual independence.”

“Impossibility of capture.”

“Tense and hostile environment.”

“Her husband would want to do something beastly to her, that must be endured in order to get a baby.”

“Shame lurked at every corner.”

“Anxiety reducers.”

“Disinterested boyfriends.”

“Whispering sexual threats in the street.”

“A symbol of masculine confusion.”

“Economically active.”

“Enforce your intentions.”

“Arguable case.”

“Many people apparently prefer to eat from a bowl now.”

“Gun towers.”

“Overbearing personality cults and leaders who only leave office when they die.”

‘Eastenders’ Quote:
“Who even uses a landline these days? Suspicious in itself.”

‘BBC Newsline’ Quote:
“Unknown death.”

Sky News’ Quote:
“Silence is complicity.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Supporting a narrative.”

“Culturally liberated.”

“No one asks challenging questions.”

“One of the most miserable people I’ve ever known.”

“Detested so heartily.”

“Posthumous disapproval.”

“Years and years of faithfully enduring high culture.”

“Affliction Oscar bait.”

“Ripened in a cave.”


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